Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Life is Good - My HEART Surgery


I am on my way to my neighbors house to check on their baby chickens, they are out of town. I am listening to my creek which is roaring from the Spring run-off.

My dearest friend of 40 years is coming from Santa Fe, New Mexico to visit me today. She is an avid tango dancer as well as a very successful business woman, she has a shoe and accessory store in Santa Fe. She hasn't been up here to visit in 15 years. I usually see her in Santa Fe because our band goes there to play about twice a year.

I have a congenital connective tissue disorder called Marfan Syndrome, I am going for another open heart surgery to replace my Aorta. Then later, I will have another operation to do the lower aorta. This is a very big endeavor for me but it will save my life, so I am happy they have the ability to do this. I will be recovering most of the summer but I hope to get back to my music as quick as I can because it is the best therapy. I know that my angels will be assisting me and I let go and let God. It is still a little scary for me but I have many friends praying for me and helping me. I am very lucky to be blessed with such great friends with great philosophies and it amazes me how small the world is and way around the world to feel a connection with them is wonderful.

I live at 7000 ft. so there isn't much of a growing season here but my friends in the flatland have beautiful gardens and they share their vegetables with me.


I have taken up tapping as a way to deal with the stress of it all and it seems to be helpful. As only my fellow marf's can truly understand, I always say "Be in the Moment - Life is good".
  

What a shock! when my surgeon said there was a communication gap and my surgeries didn't get in his book and he as buying a house this week and has to move his family. I was so surprised because I was gearing up for it all. I am actually glad to have more time to get a little stronger and better prepared. Well, life is always full of surprises and one has to trust that the Universe has it's own sense of timing and our limited understanding does not see the big picture sometimes. I want my surgeon to feel his best and as he put it ,he wants to give me his full attention. These are big surgeries. I found out that I am having the Elephant trunk procedure, it is truly amazing what they can do. Now my surgeries are postponed. I still am having the catheterization soon.

Glad I get a little more time to prepare and enjoy the beautiful spring we are having . The lilacs are in full bloom and the creek is rushing. I am trusting that I am being guided to divine timing for the surgery. I would like to start the process so I could get to recovering but also I think I can use the extra time to be better prepared. I have a yoga breathing cd and a creating mindset for successful surgery cd that I am going to work with.

Thank you for your bright messages from all the way around the world. I feel so blessed by all the good energy coming my way. In love and light - (Anonymous, Female) Salina, Colorado

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Just Could not SLEEP


I had a fitful night's sleep: I woke up several times throughout the night.
& then back to sleep to Ignite my dreams of starry skies.

Thinking it to be a good idea to follow & go by the saying “early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, healthy,wealthy & wise. I read somewhere, that the people who are actually nocturnal and stay awake, are the ones who are more brilliant & Intellectual...good lord 'Is that so'?

I laid down on the bed, trying hard to sweep away my nocturnal nutshells to sleep right away & catch hold of it a little early then usual, but it seemed as if it was slipping away from me despite my several attempts.


I comforted the puffed pillow under my head, adjusting myself to the water cooler next to my bed. I have a habit of having that little sound while I slept, theirs no way I could sleep in a complete pin-drop silence (when silence could speak louder then voice)...now that's how usually, I get my part of sound-sleep (one of the few things that would put me off to sleep). 

I could not, so I got up, & sat, in the middle of the night, in center of a king sized bed meditating & doing chants, & then as if there came this singer from somewhere inside me, who made me sing all sort of self-made gibberish poetry to some sensible ones. it had already taken me on a flight of restless emotional journey by now, which had footprints of unpleasant & pleasant aftermaths - that lasted for an hour or so.

"By now, I already knew, that I had been confronted by the nocturnal ghosts, who just wont let me sleep"

I even became a static jogger (No, I wasn't sleep-jogging), off the bed I jumped on to the floor & started jogging, keeping myself fixed at one place, then off to bed again, after getting little tired, Then the leg-cycling started on the bed followed by a couple of other exercises, from deep-breathing & so on! (health conscious) me huh!, wont follow a fitness-regime but always wonder how I could stay fit & lose my flab.

I must have fallen asleep for half and hour & then woke up to a senseless dream. I got up, to drink some water, that was kept on the dressing table, & started making faces, looking myself in mirror, wondering "if at all, I had lost some inches, as if miraculously would have overnight - huh!. " I needed a hair-cut", I said to myself
"(Do or die, whats done Is done, true beauty lies - Who or why, whats's one is one, in pure disguise).I went on to my laptop looking out at my online-shopping wish-list with the available credits to my disposal. "Just need to go out for a vocation" my brain send me a message & immediately after that, i saw my solar light on the table-top, dimmed to a level less & thinking it might not go for long, I decided in about few minutes or so, I needed to hit the bed again. Well it was a sign, telling me again, now you had enough & you need to go relax.


I fear, I am not getting tired or sleepy at the moment, but would still hit the bed, or let it hit me back.

Getting up later after having peacefully slept finally, & waking up realizing that, "I had to go through a lot of tossing and turning before falling into a fitful doze". - forever yours, nocturnal me) Anonymous, 35, Delhi, India

Sunday, June 2, 2013

A CALL to Nepal



A 30 Minute Call to Nepal, from 11-51 to 12:30 to a Virtual FB Friend! after a while of knowing this person. for not even much of time on FB, & this was yes my first call! This Person I heard was Communicating in his Nepaleese-Hindi Mix Language, thought I could get most of him, what was being talked about, asked and told! The Last words in English that I heard from him were, Good night & Bye! Amazing part was I was told, on how he remembered all the little things, of mine, each Status Updates that we seen & each chats that we did! From my being busy with the chores at home (Cooking, Sleeping, Eating, Washing, Cleaning) to the minutest of details of living and surviving on a cup of tea & coffee, too doing the work I did, and kept myself busy On this persons referral to my saying sometime back, shall call you someday! I was made remembered to "You were to call , what happened to that" I decided I needed to call right away and talk to this person no matter what, irrespective of bothering for the Bill, or the time of the Night, First I end up dialing the number without a code, which was picked up by a Rude Voice, saying hello Twice, and I banged the Phone. (feeling little not so very welcomed), then confirmed the number again, and prefixed the code, & re-dialled the number, good that it was picked up, in one cal, & attended, mentioning my name, that sounded nice. We had been on Fb for a while now. The best thing was that the person was a Osho Follower & had much to share and experience at a younger age, 10-12 years younger to me) as I was told, so I could only assume, & believe as of now! Asking me about Dynamic Meditation & then complimenting me, that my pictures did not matched my age, nor did my voice! I sounded much more young by pictures and voice! (told to me by many others as well)
 
I was told you are similar to one of those saints who eat less, sleep less, ,to which I said that's precisely a nice idea, how about changing my name prefixing "Baba"/Priest prior to my name (and adding a little something at the end of my name, and making a new id, with a new me, with a precisely appropriate photograph of me in the manner that defined me well! - i was a good idea, that I was told form the other side! Well I was told then you could add all the fellow saints, in your that Fb id, to which I responded, Its little difficult to say that, because I don’t find much rare and finest of people, leaving some very few, who are real saints, and are non-maeterialistic in approach & life, detached, from all the comforts of life, seeking no pleasure, and available and living in purest of form! to which I was replied again by a Yes! making myself sure, that my perception of being judgmental was absolutely right.


I was asked to visit Nepal, Leaving away all the busy schedule of life, and come and have fun, enjoy the nature and the climate, and the greenery & everything that this small place had to offer. ( having a dream from my childhood to visit & see Nepal) I wonder, if it would ever come true, I don't know, Don't think so.

Again I was asked, why don't I get married, to which I said, I guess i am happy and in content being alone, with no more obligations and explanations and relatives to bother myself with and upkeep with all the formalities to the core. I guess I have learned to live alone, and that suffices me. Not knowing that life has to offer me ahead though, where it would take, as of now, No!

Precisely asking me what exactly you do and all, to my trying to explain a bit, and said later in detail ,,not now, its not the right Time, to focus my brains in the derailing at this hour of night or day, whatever I might call it.

Yes! I was reminded again for the Book on Osho, that I was asked to research & get and see if it was available in the Market & send across via courier/post to Nepal.
Though I did not wanted to end the call, but there was absolutely nothing to talk much about, since I thought would be better to chat much more typing more often and sharing out the details before we talked again! The person on the other side told the same, it was no use wasting money on a blank talk, & once you have something to share about, that you decide that you want to share with me and talk about, you should call me up!. That was a sweet gesture! (though we had a lil intro about each other, family, background, work, life, etc) but we needed more to know each other for a much more comfortable friendly talk).

My Sleep as if went away for I while (happy me, that I would be able to have a glass of water, & maybe milk too) & then go back to sleep, after a while, after I am finish with me net business!

Prior to this, I was in a position to fall on the bed before & I wished with a big yawn, that there was no more Message on the FB Chat, & I should not see no more further pop-ups. Asking this person if I could call you up talk rather for a while instead of typing on the keypad & looking at the screen, since I was on the bed & as if it wanted to sink me inside it deep, calling me to the world of dreams! But I would not abruptly end the chat. thought I made a little note and put forward, 3 times, GoodNite, bye, I am Sleepy. to which I was told ( I would tell Osho, this guy talks to me rudely, & then Osho will teach you a lesson, asking you why did you do that & will punish me) in a friendly sweet tone - chat! to which I could feel a kid inside that wanted to chat and talk, as if was out in the lonely world far, away with nothing else no one else to share and talk too, or discuss things outside the Virtual World!

 
Talking to a friend prior on the phone (discussing what I had ordered for dinner to Goodnite, Cya & Bye, to Talk to you soon in the morning!, simultaneously, finishing with my Dinner & chatting with a friend of mine form Bangalore (discussing Mushroom-Cottage Cheese Salad, with Baby Corn dipped in garlic Sauce, to College, to Blogs, to Education/Career & marks, too the new blue dress for the college, to some guests and party's & wedding lately,& hogging on to Paneer(Cottage Cheese) & Salad's etc etc. With a quench to reach out to my fridge and drink water after my dinner! I paused, kept myself thirsty! I said what the heck, let it go! I shall as soon as I get time! I end up chatting with this person again, had not seen him for a while much on FB Online on the Chat, I was message’d with a Sweet name as usual that I was called by this person ,& I would immediately reply yes I am here. & the conversation would go on! Amazed to know that I was about to go to sleep at 10;00 hours, which was not so likely me, that I was before, but I guess, Now the Summers have made me more lazy & immediately after my food I kind of feel banging myself on the bed, turning sides, and reaching all the corners in my sleep, with weird dreams, that I would not even remember when I would get in between or the next very day!
Though who would have ever thought I would ever call Nepal(for the first time in my life, and that to a friend not at all a professional call! I am not sure, where all this leads too, but yes I kept my promise and look forward to the best of our friendship, for I don't control things, I rather leave it on the mercy of God, What is planned and destined is out to happen, and one shall abide by it! Where it takes from a Social Networking add to a call to? No One Knows. No Idea!

I guess now my Sleep is calling me back! & I should rather go Now, I am going to Sleep! Looking forward to Dreams, & hopefully wake up good & peaceful!

Please excuse me for m grammar, & vocab & spelling mistakes if any,, since I am half dozed off already, & I wanted to put it as good as I could remember it, else would forget the minutest of details by the end of the night, & starting of the new day! - Anonymous, 35, India, Delhi.