Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Monsters Under My Bed

As a child, I would always check under my bed for monsters. I would be afraid of them getting hold of my leg,and pulling me down under from that dark hollow gap that was there between the bed and the floor. Making me more cautious of not letting my leg swing down touching the floor, I kept unwell those days,and it was a hard time that lasted really long, a troublesome period for me and my parents,specially at nights. I think back and come to a realization of why and how it was there then. There is always a logic to a rationale or a meaningless one. The deeper you dig,you get answers for all that happened for a reason. I no longer look under my bed now, but at tomes these shadows imaginary of self proclaimed haunt me ,fright me, and I would find peace with all that is positive and let the negate drive away. Its the same thing with few dreams, that are so rural' you can't just figure out how and why of it. There is always a sign of things happening in and around you' its just that we are being guided and warned and protected eventually.

& Nowadays' I don't feel earthquakes at all unless there is something very powerful that shakes me or vibrates me. I guess we are less grounded these days, then we were earlier, and we all are on the verge of flying midway between a lot of chaos that all together keeps us busy and on the go. Therefore its hard to feel ,and even understand, if you were hit by an earthquake. Besides all the time there is so much of quacking around, you hardly get to know if earth quacked. No matter how much I tried to be with silence and stay grounded, its this viciousness of nuances that hinder the agenda, and loose focus. Besides often I feel being vibrated now and then, and not every time I guess it could be an earthquake making me witness itself.

Contrast of tremors in all forms, imaginary to the real ones.shaking our very being, the pettiest fed nothingness to the emotionally led turmoil.

I had the certitude I was going crazy for years. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year. I did not imagine my life moving forward in a satisfactory way. I looked at traffic lights and expected to be enlightened. I looked at stars and trees. I looked at clouds. I couldn’t look at people any more. I thought about disappearing at all costs. Going away from this world,. From this place, looking for life some place else.

It seemed like a reset button had been pushed, opening up a clean slate. I had changed, and I had a mission: to build my personality all over, to eliminate the faulty parts and strive for self-improvement.

But there was nothing more materialistic and emotional then the bed I spend sleeping my childhood on, the earthquakes that it doesn't let me feel.- Anonymous