The Static SIlence

The voices in my head cussed at me. I was yelling like a wild animal...

I felt like a jackass screaming at the top of my lungs.Staring eyes wide open, gazing into nothing. Running in place again...going through the motions, in and out as the oceans, repeating numb to the silence, to the absence of emotion. The sum of the script, nothing but a click in the rotation, yeah...Sick of the peace of mind that goes along with keeping on, and I can't keep on keeping on. Strung out on the same old, got an itch for something painful. To feel something real once, to remind myself it's not in my head. Sick of the calm coinciding with sticking in and with the line...can't keep on keeping on.

At the shoreline in a snowstorm, I was baptized like a newborn in the static. There was a voice in silent dreams, Said lift your head up, come up clean. You were a wild thing pretending to be tame, I was wilding trapped inside a cage. I wasn't looking for deliverance, when you walked in from the wilderness. I was yours and you were mine...but everything returned to the static. Though the circuit boards erased, flashes of memories still remain in the static. In between the ones and zeroes, you will find me if you let go in the static.

Zwijgen is instemmen, that is "since you didn't answer, then you agreed with me"...I'll take that as a 'yes' then..."Silence is acquiescence".

Listen to the mustn't, Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn't , the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen. Anything can be - "They want to know that it’s going to be OK".

I could go on an on, and complain & vent in vain... but I decided, I wont do that at all, I shall be friends with silence, and shall let go off, until I am completely burdened with an outburst ,breaking into a agitated pile of bullshit & go hide, hibernate and be a loner as I was. I am friend with few, those make my life worth living, so I don't want to die right now, not right now!, I have an obligation to be with them, they need me, as much as I might need them. I have my own flaws and the world has its own, so there isn't anything or anyone perfect or good or bad. We all have such traits and trails and we are born with it, and things change for good and bad as we grow. I will stay calm for the time being.

Until the morning light reveals my ruins...I was starving, now I hunger to feel & let your curiosity dismantle me.  Now I just need your breath like a veil upon my skin. Hold me as I'm trying to survive & wrap me in your comfort. My fears...I give them all to you to keep them safe for me, cause I just need your breath like a veil upon my skin.

"रंजिश ही सही दिल ही दुखाने के लिये आ - आ फिर से मुझे छोड़ के जाने के लिये आ"

"Let it be anguish, even to torture my heart, come

Come even if only to abandon me to torment again."

Come lay with me, This chemistry is static. Like space debris, we're perfectly chaotic. "So come and merge your storm with mine...save me". - Anonymous