Saturday, May 25, 2013

The UnTalked-SILENCE

I did not knew what exactly to name it. So I just went with the flow and carried on! My Mind as if was weaving a Sweater in this Cold Winter Month. As if my Mind was reading a Newspaper of my Life. Exactly I was the past, present and worrying about the future. It was all an open book! Certain things lately in da Episode of my Life's Journey have been kind & cruel at the same time! It's like there is something and everything, but still that something and everything seems like nothing at all. With a Lonely Loner I had been past 2 years, thought blessed by someone who has put in all effort to be in touch, stay with me, and help me out to fight against all the odds of life. But the worried reasoning that goes in my head is, how far shall this go! We on this platform - stage of Life, keep meeting the unknown, and build up relationship, We feel joyous. We again loose them and outburst in a hue and cry! For I am only concerned - the selfish me, like everyone else, wanting to settle down in a much peaceful tagged Me. This morning I got up, with a dream that woke me up. Later I had jsut no interest in doing anything at all, Everything from FaceBook to my Hungry Stomach, to all the odds and evens of me, seeing myself in the mirror, felt just standing there. There was no ignition, there was no spark, there I stood as a Body & Soul, worthless and aimless, with no objectives, and with no hopes to decide on to a reasoning of why I was living and for what. I closed the newspaper of my life finally, after turning all the pages one by one, settling down to order a Pizza, so as to quench in my hungry state of mind, so rest of the things would take time but then settle down themselves. I have begin to see lately that my life starts on the Social Networking sites, and end there. For I need a lively state of mind, and a pretty much more functional state of body, just like everyone else! My brain has more educational qualifications and my soul has earned more experienced wit's. With the FaceBook Notifications I get & the messages and the calls I receive on my cell phone are the only happening things in my life right now! I am Busy ,yet Jobless, I have much more to do, I am Lazy, though I have become one wondering soul, with no anguish no urge ,absolutely nothing. The day passes by sitting on the Laptop, and I wonder is this life, & by the way why do I seem worried about the whole scenario. Why should I not sit, and enjoy all the comforts available, or should I be more focused on the complexities of deprived me' of all the things I have not got, or am looking to. Shuffling down with one id to another on FaceBook, and chatting with a few known, unknown, hitting few likes, commenting few, Wishing Birthday’s, and Thanking the rest, I close the lid of my Laptop, and run down to my Kitchen to make myself a large glass of Cold Coffee, and then back to my table, making a list of things to be done for the day, & ordering few things from the Grocery Store (Rationwaala). That's what I have been doing everyday!. I have enough been single, or is it that I would be happy if married, Have I got enough sex, or is it that I am looking out for someone. Will I be accepted (da short heighten, overweight). Making new friends around does not seem to have been solving problems, I guess someone there for a lifetime would be a picture perfect. But then who knows what's in stored, what's on the cards. I have to move my sorry ass, and do something about it, but I guess the negativity and all the odds make me settle down doing nothing and thinking about what am I going to have for dinner tonight. All I guess is a fractional thought process in m mind right now, making me little depressed and neutral at the same time. I surrender or I do something about it. - 35,Anonymous,India

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