Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A RESTLESS - State of Mind

Yes sir, I am a tortured man for all seasons, as they say, and I have powerful friends in high places. Birds sing where I walk, and children smile when they see me coming. - Hunter S. Thompson

As Shakespeare said it' “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”

Yes/no questions are believed to carry some suggestibility load; seem to have worked for me too at times though, not sure how far they shall. A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble" said  a Mahatma, & that's what recently I have been managing to be doing.

Controlling yourself, and your emotions, and your frustration & all that, so it does not transparently effect the so called relationship.

"Yes, you can lose somebody overnight, yes, your whole life can be turned upside down. Life is short. It can come and go like a feather in the wind." They have been on your List for years, and more then once, they take you out of there FaceBook Friend List, (Sometimes I curse these social networking sites, as if they only mean the world to us & nothing else matters) & become friends again! & then there mood swings come and go' at a flick of minutes, they want to still be in touch with you, messaging you, calling you, wanting to speak, talk, share & hear. Friendliness. I certainly understand they take things as a perceived betrayal, but they don't try to understand the very human psyche of an emotional tenderized cravings and while it all goes' they are things that happen and you get carried away!, yes wrong I would be, I am, but that does not imply that I am going to take mood swings in full swing and blooming, every-time, of someone I love, whatsoever it be. Few harsh words that are rude, very much complimentary to the parallel and not so parallel parcels of life's agendas. Either you got to excuse me for all the mistakes and blunders committed as crime & sin, with due respect to the mental, emotional & physical indulgence that has kept our relationship alive until now, so far. Or you need to put an end to it. (Sounds no Simple, Yet, practical & logical). If I am the one who is hurting people who fall in love with me, and are much emotionally related to me, less or more, or equal from my side it be' it has to have no more suffrage & chaos, no more perturbed emotional torture, that haunts your personality inside out. You may Smile on the face, you may be hurt inside deep, knowing the fact, that you could  show it off at times, and at times, you have to keep them tight an securely latched. What I better sought off a answer to all this was, to aloof myself from everyone, that was hurting me, and that was being hurt by me, for my love never came to hurt, it was only there to love. I know I could not love the very next person the same way I did the other, but does that stop me for having a fondness of liking or loving more then once at the same time. For very selective and lonesome I have been, for much of the several times, it's been just me and me all the time, unsure about how it shall all go and how it shall all treat, insecure and worried at the same time, though wanting to have that sense of security of having someone by my side all the time.

"God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say. Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful: he makes saints out of sinners.". Yes I have committed a crime, I am  wrong, was wrong, I was at fault and offense of emotionally falling in for people that have been kind and friendly with me - that has brought me to a state of unpleasantness of a reluctant me, taking refuge under my a several piled sheets of breathless discomfort living. 

“Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.”, “Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.”

“[In response to being asked whether he had ever been wrong:] Yes, once... many, many years ago. I thought I had made a wrong decision. Of course, it turned out that I had been right all along. But I was wrong to have thought I was wrong." said John Foster Dulles.

And know that I am with you always; yes, to the end of time. Hopefully. & Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions; it's walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too. - Sorry & Heartfelt Apologies.

- Anonymous

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