lately, I got to know through my mother itslef, that I was an adopted son. I heard it sometime back also but was not sure about it,never felt it that way! But when I was told this again on Feb 7th, 2011. though It came as an assurance the second time, from various sources (family,others).
I was told that My dad died in an accident and my mother expired too after giving me birth! (don't know how much is this real or fake).
The whole childhood as much I cud remember ,school/college days. & every bit of everything and anything just flashed in front of me. I was stunned ,shocked and surprised.
But all I know & It does not make any difference to me at the moment is the fact, that I have got all the love from my parents (the ones I have- real or unreal) & have no complaints, No matter what the reason would have been.But somewhere I feel I could have been told this much earlier, Well I am sure it would never had made any difference, because there has absolutely nothing that I was deprived of ever - may it be money, or education, or any damn thing!
The day it was told to me by a family member, it naturally came to me as a shock, but It passed away! and all was the same as ever! But still somewhere in my heart this fact remains,and It would be there! It's just FB(blah) that I have shared it with. & there has just been one close person whom I shared this with face to face!. As much as I was told, and As much I was known to know.
Nothing more I was told, as if there was nothing more to it, I never enquired about it, since I could burst out in tears if I was to verbally question, get the information, or even discuss it further. With all the strength in my heart & brain, I was mum, since I did not wanted to react much on the whole issue, I was being told this maybe because, it was the riht time, right age, and it would have not been any better, if I would have got to know it later from others, and not from my own parents.
Despite not clear about the whole thingi, who , how, and what about the whole scenario - epic of my life! I was loved by everyone around, including whole of the family, despite now I knew why relatives were a little indifferent to me,& why I never mixed well with them socially!
With more to it, known now, to me and peopel around me, it's difficult to cope up with the so called stigma, and it has changed my emotional behaviour a bit, with not adjusting myself more socially aongst the relatives.
Though it has not made much difference, but whenever I hear the word 'Adoption or Adopted' from anywhere, everywhere, I feel It's me being talked about, & whenever I am addressed with issues pertaining to the same, I feel low and feel alienated from my parental & maternal relatives.
I have always been and would be a part of the family who form the very beginning brought me up, loved me, and dealt with me in a way, I could never ever believe, it could slightly have been deprived, or neglected.