I felt SO LOST

My friend got married recently. Can't say, how is it going but their espionage-skills are mushrooming. 

Married couples fight more because after the wedding, the dating masks come off. She stops prepping to look fantastic every time she thinks she’s going to see him, he stops trying to do things that she likes to do (that he hates). The fun, exciting sex fades into routine and the household chore division starts to feel like a tug of war. She thinks, “He’s not doing his part” and he thinks, “she nags me all the time”. They battle over money, because they often don’t come from the same place when it comes to how they feel about money, bills and saving - This is pretty normal. Successful couples know how to make this transition work for them. They use compromise and consideration for each other to build a comfortable routine that doesn’t leave them bored and frustrated. They work out a deal on who will manage the money and come to some kind of agreement on how the budget is going to play out - Some couples just fall into misery or annoyance and stay there, but don’t want to go through the drama of divorce and starting over.

I left my husband 3 years ago and when I left him I was 8 months pregnant. I left him b/c he did not want to work and he was doing drugs. Right after I left him he meets a girl. He also moved out his mom house and moved in with friends. His friends are always partying and drinking. 

Since these 3 years have went by so many things have happened. We have always been seeing each other and we still had sex with each other, but he has never ever been there for my daughter. My daughter does not even know her own father. So during these 3 years whenever he needed something I was there for him. I would drop all my plans just to spend time with him. The whole time he kept me a secret. He would see me whenever he needed something or just wanted to see me. He did not look for me for a good 9 months or so. Finally when he started to look for me was when I got my own house back in August 2010. When we finally saw each other again in September 2010. Once again was just for sex b/c right after he got lost again and did not see me till one month and a half later. Then once we saw each other again I told him that I still loved him and I wanted to be with him, he told me the same. He made me believe that I was the only person he was sleeping with. So I finally we said we were going to try to work things out. So he was still staying at his friends house. He would only look for me every like other week. But I always wanted to believe that I was his only one. 

Finally on November 2010 he gets put in jail. I did not know till one month later. Once I see him in jail he tells me that he loves me and that when we got out he wanted to be a family. And also that he wanted to marry me again b/c he wanted to start our life over. So I was like okay and I asked him time and time again if he was talking to any girl, or if anyone had wrote to him and he promised that no one has wrote to him or anything. So I believed him once again. I been their ever since, I visit him, I send him money; I try to help him and whatever I can. 

Recently I looked at his myspace and found comments that said… I miss you, I love you etc. then I look at his best friends myspace and I read a comment from a girl asking if he found my husband address. This girl was the girl he met while I was pregnant and he always promised me he had nothing to do with her. Not only that I find out that she has wrote to him. Then I look at her pictures on myspace and I see of pictures of her on my husband bed? And also found out this girl is pregnant. So when my husband called me I told him everything I found out. He was just left out of words. He did not know what to say or anything. 

He says he loves me. And he still says he had nothing to do with this girl. But why if she is pregnant and he so say she (has a bf) why would she be looking for him? I never knew at that point of time if I should have given him a chance or finally move on with my life?

But yes I did what I felt I should have. - Anonymous