Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Well the problem is not the one that has surrounded me! The situation is more or like the same that has engrossed me like before a lot more times earlier, and that's the damn reason I am what I am, right so very now! It's been years I have experienced the same thing happening all over again with me after a gap of time! After a while when I conjure myself and let all the things wondering me vanished away for ever! With not so obvious circumstances It's like someone has to write in there and then on the black blackboard with the white chalk and then you kind of feel to imagine all the color palette, that would be show and brought to you!Something in my mind right now, surrounded and knocking by the doubt, or say doubts for that matter! confused, and alarming intuitions! Thought I know I cant help it! I guess I need to figure it out myself! The only question that I follow right now is ' Do I take in the risk? or should I forget about it completely and not let it hamper my thoughts, dampening me into more state of misery and emotional turmoil!, I so very wish I could let it go before it even started! Should I go by heart or mind this time? Are we all not sometime, somewhere in a state like this - unaware, yet so aware! rare I know specially with the emotional souls!Well it's not about presumptions or assumptions, it's just about state of mind, that would not let it go!. Intuitive me I guess spoils the whole think even more! and the worst part is knowing that my intuitions are right always, as if I knew the world so through and through, it just never lets me settle away from the so called psyche of things around me! for it might be situations involving people or things at my disposal!
There are times and u are in situations when you just want things to work damn so right all the way! but at the back of your mind and deep down in your heart u would not let either of it survive,! Mind or Heart, what to choose and how, and why?
But sometimes you know its not worth it, and u enter into it taking in the risk, When would my intuitions be wrong finally and when would others be as good as me!I do not know! I am pretty tired of knowing such things and intuiting about!
Sometimes Its' all in a hurry for one needs to figure out then and there what good it be! worth? I have kept myself on - hold.waiting too long, dis time away from such nuances, just do not want to get carried away! Emotionally n Mentally when I stop giving a damn about it, It comes again finding me from somewhere!/no-where-land.
That's one reason I always try hard about anything, everything I do, and want it to work! but for some reason it's never meant the way from the way it seems!
When fine days u decide u would be all busy with your life, finding any damn reason to be busy with and let no thought haunt u about anything anyone ! u r hit back by it! there on the face!
Well I guess everyone has to make one's mind in what direction one has to go, and how much effort one has to put in figuring out' how much to deal with it, to what and extent and how much amount one would take in to resolve or let go? I have made my mind now, after much of giving it a thought. From dreamland to no-where-land! I guess I would not think about it, Yes I will let it come to me the way it has too, will put in an effort to get in the shoes at that very time, and take in the decisions! I will survive this time too, as I have earlier and I am strong now, have seen much life, experienced much of everything by now!
It's true that I do not trust easily on to anything for that matter, being blindfold!. Logically you need to find and get settled down to some reasoning platformed and positioned to bring in that peace in you and around you! So stop it is the word I say to myself and breathe in and out. I Surrender as of now.Cant take in all of that too soon, way this small or big! - Anonymous