Tuesday, November 1, 2011



My boyfriend doesn't see sex as a priority in our relationship, am I lucky?
I've been in relationships where my boyfriend has wanted sex every which way, and if he didn't get it a lot he would start looking in other places. For the first time in my life, I'm with someone I totally love and adore, and he views sex as important but a very small part of what makes a great relationship, so if he isn't feeling good or is stressed out he isn't in the mood. He only wants it when conditions are just right. I like to have it a little more often than he does, but I think I am willing to compromise on it and not have it as much because he compromises for me in so many other ways.  - Also, if he isn't in the mood, he got me a vibrator to use.

I'd rather have no sex than bad sex, which means the one night stand thing is pretty pointless in general.

I once suggested to a male friend that some women might have less need for sex because women have better sex toys available to them, but he said I was wrong. (Not about the sex toys, but about the idea that they're that helpful. He said his hand was grand.)

Is sex your 1st priority in a relationship?

No. If we want sex as a priority, we would've gotten a hooker or an easy to get girl. We get in a relationship because we want companionship and someone to be with, someone to accept and love us back. Sex will always be a part of a relationship and might happen sooner or later, but it is not a priority. We want it more if it were to result out of true love rather than just get off the heat at the moment.

How much of a priority is sex in your relationship, and how serious is your relationship?
Sex is not one of the highest priorities in my relationship with my wife. Our relationship is incredibly serious.

This, however, doesn't mean that we don't have sex/make love. We certainly do, but it is not something that we feel we must acclompish five times a night, every night. We have sex because we want to, and if one partner is too tired or not in the mood then we don't need sex to be close. A good cuddle and just being there is far more important to us. I don't know whether it's significant or not, but I remember the days when we had just met and five times a day was about right. I remember, but I think that we have a much deeper love now, and love-making is slower and more for our pleasure as a couple than the more physical sex we had at first. Sex is only a tiny part of love, and love is a feeling you have to experience to be able to understand.

I myself do not think it is that high on the list of things to do but my husband does. It is always a big deal in our relationship. But i guess if people need sex to feel loved and wanted it is very high on their list

Well I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and sex is important.. i mean we can go without having it but we choose not to because is a way of showing how much we love each other.. it also depends how you view relationships..

At the beginning my (at the time, soon to be) wife had a much stronger sex drive than myself. Sex was still important to me, it just wasn't as high a priority as it was to her. Our relationship has remained very serious. Heck, there was that wedding 7 years ago.

As we grow old together sex becomes, well, interesting, in ways we never had to deal with before. Fortunately we have a lot of newfangled health food store products to help out (I highly recommend lotions containing "Wild Yam"). Our sex drives have evened out. And we're still serious.
When the sex is good and plentiful, everything else seems to falls into place much easier.
Ive been in a committed relationship for a while now, living together. our sex life is very dull.. i feel a huge pressure to have sex (not by him, but stereotypes).. so when we do have sex, its not very passionate..

The problem from my vantage point is that women seem to be very willing to do it early in the relationship but once they get what they want - a ring, kids, etc they lose interest. This is the case in my experiences as well as that of at least 90% of the guys I know.
Its like they do it to lure you in. With that said, I have had two girlfriends who were different and loved sex. The difference was obvious. We just weren't as compatible in other ways.
If the sex isn't good, there would have to be a lot of other reason to stay in the relationship. if not, why not just be friends? besides, if people in a relationship stop having sex, that seems like a pretty good indicator that something else in their relationship is wrong. btw, my current relationship is not very serious & i'm not that far into it.
Sex is important in a relationship. Even though there is spells in which sex is not as important (right now a family member is really ill) but the affection shown in sex is significant. My relationship has been for 6 years.

My wife and I have a serious difference in sex drives. She has told me that sex is not important to her, and that if I wanted more sex I should never have married her. Am I wrong to stay in this relationship? Am I wrong to value sex?
One fact - that we start to like someone, and meet ocassionally & want to go on bed with, and after we have tasted the so called sex for a while, say 3-4 times, we kind of get boared of the person. Since it's like we are through with the sex as a priority with that person, & love is always there to an extent that you would not like to leave that person, maybe its liek a security - stability that you would not want to loose on too, no matter what. Being alone hurts, so you would at times unwanted have sex with the person if the need arises, if its demanded from the other side., but you would not be sexually charged yourself. One would still like to look out for other options to fill in the sex endurances and frustations, that might overcome somehow by chatting, sex on the phone with newere, fewer, people who would excite you more. The person you are in relationship wont be the person charging you up, afterwards, but the new person, the new taste of the spiced up activity that one would want to try out with is something that no matter what you would wana try out. if not in real, for sure a virtaul thingi would be satisfying enough. But at the same time you wont ever want to leave the person you are with, spending hours, and time of your life, caring, understading, talking, sharing, loving (less or no sex, with a little bit of romance, and gifting eachother, going for rides, vaccations, celebrations, dancing, party's etc.). It's funny but true when we have someone there to have sex with, we are not that interested, and when we dont have anyone, we get so panicy about it and desperate to have it with any damn person, though we have our preferences of choices tagged to it. I at times wonder what would the person on the other side would be wondering!, Does he feel the same. At times its not about priorities, but its about the circumstancial phase that make you loose interest in things like this, on the contrary things that would value more! - Anomymous

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