Monday, March 12, 2012

Dirty Picture


“If only you could always count on me, & let me count on you”

Are you using someone as a doormat or letting someone use you like one? Well it's a choice, that we have to make - its in our hand. 

Some things are meant to be left exactly in the way they are  or they could either start afresh.


for good things to come, bad things to go or vice-verse  and experience them. That imply - let the bad relationship go and get over with it, its by no means going to benefit you. End it completely with no memories of the past to trouble you. "There is always a second last chance to things 'that come over, & go by". Enough of the remorse over the petty sick unworthy, if it was fateful enough to end this way, it sure was destined, and was not to bring about any peace, if ever it lasted long & continued in this unhygienic way.


"When you talk about sex - You find it intellectual - When I do, you call me desperate. I find that rather amusingly orthodox."


When we know we are interested in subjects that are tabooed, no matter how keen, we still tend to get lost and lured with the sexual gratification part of it. No matter infatuated for a while, until its done away with & in the end not even figuring out the emotional aspect of it - heart to heart and soul to soul connection for a longer run. Its only the end result (the remains) of the materialistic pleasures that we are limited to & often seek to seek & there is absolutely nothing beyond that. Not every flesh comes with a heart. Monotonously caught in a momentum like everything else it seems to be. There was nothing wrong in being desperate, seeking pleasure & longing - going with the flow. Why it had to be turned off or done away with? Why there was no continuity for as much long as it could - connecting souls, loving or having sex - off & on bed.


"For all the while infatuated I stood, hoping I would get someone -  the other person mistook me for just another prostitute sibling for ones wanking gratification & sexual chores."


For you it was all OK & done away with kinds, But for me I still stand guilty of what I did on bed with you, cursing myself. All I ever wanted was to make you happy on bed, expecting you would be with me if nothing more, still as my friend. It took a while & I understood. I run down to the corners, somewhere in my heart with wondering thoughts - I still try to forget about it - Craving all the more for you, even after what you did, we did. I find myself lost & lured by you & want to tell you' here I am at your disposal - use me, the way you want - for my fondness for you grew after that night for not easy for me to have sex randomly & I know - you do it & you do it nice  I shall moan & forget, there is no love from your side(it was just a pretentious act). For, we said "I love you" even before we met & now after we had it, seems like love never existed from your end -  ‘it was dead & had fled away, coming to an end.’ You stand unreal(imposter) - a selfish spree, but then for me, sex was pious & my love was real. My infatuation was physical yet emotional - I give you again though one last chance. I know I will have to repent this, but what the fuck, let it be.


"If only sex could promise to quench thy thirst for many more rounds, then it possibly could as it might sound & it had more then one reason to believe holding on to more solid grounds.” 

it would be with a person, who can respect, love, like you at the same time, with an understanding to make things grow between you, and let it not just be for one night stand. What is it that does not suffice you with one & your quench for more grows & you are left with random faces/flesh. Willing to give yourself to the other person, and at the same time wanting to have someone/anyone".

Thy heart has seen markets where they sell things those imitate love - all disguised in forms so many, they seem to be pretty convincing about what they do & they are pretty good at it. Sad the befool the lot & sell it often to everyone & anyone with a price tag, that seems so professionally branded & over-prized, but way too cheap & seldom get's withered with time, lasts' for a little while it depreciates & turns over rated. They create a hype, stay in market for a while, till it seems all glossy, mushy, curvy selling like hot cakes that these fellows do bake. Even the heart knows about - a thing or two, staying out of the league so they necessarily cant fool anymore with their tactics. They would seldom replace, substitute or compliment whichever possible - who & whatsoever. Wondering why & how the markets flourish flawlessly & boom when all they guarantee is an act of doom. Heart warns them to keep it away from those luring desirously insane tantrums.


"My bed was just not a means to satisfy you  - Wish you could have touched my soul.” - Anonymous

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