Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Invade & Evade

"What reck I of such evil? / Thy pride hath thee betrayed,
That thou deem’st my homage / should e’er to thee be paid.
Know thou in truth full certain / the thing may never be:
Nor shall I e’er be ready / to look for faithful friend in thee.”

There is a series of hand-prints on all the mirror like surfaces around me. I don't think it mysterious but at times, I wonder what if it was? & it would jolt me. Was I being invaded by the ghosts or the living dead. Around me there could be the handprints of God, which I cannot always see. I guess, I need to look for handprints more often and have to be prepared for surprises. How often, I wonder, does anything or anyone leave handprints, but I'm too busy or too self-absorbed to see? 

We are often confined only by the walls we build ourselves & I'm afraid the walls have ears and perhaps even these benches on the boulevard here may be able to listen and tell tales. I couldn't help but to raise mandatory walls around me, though there were cracks & holes in them through which everything else seemed to invade & evade at the same time, finding its way through the passage of time at intervals.

“Some things take hold of you. Invade you. Own you. You want to be free of them, but you never will be.”

It was a difficult task to put boundaries & demarcate. My life seemed to be invaded by uninvited people in large numbers while I was still in the process of learning how to evade few or as many I could. There would be few, who we would want to be invaded by in an attempt to surrender completely to a sense of security without any hindrance trying to find solace & comfort, but trusting everyone sugar-coated could be risky & the ones could thought you could turn on to, would not readily be available always to help you out. There are these parameters & limits we set, often restricting and balancing this whole act of being invaded & evaded. There were more chances of likely being invaded by the ones we don't want - they shall always find ways to intrude & be invasive. The more we try to evade - escape or avoid someone or something by guile or trickery or by other means(any)  - the more it comes to us in ways so many. 

There was something weird about strangers who would poke there nose uninvited & if at all you invited them, it would most of the time end up being revolting rather than rewarding. 

I figured out, that I was thorough with the knowing them part & pity they could not even get hold of mine. There seemed absolutely nothing left to dwell into - I had completely lost interest in them & now they were even more estrange to me. I had lost any bit of interest that I could have ever gathered to face them. I had nothing to do with anymore but as they say, at times you have to end up making a donkey your father. At the times most desperate, when you have no one coming to your rescue, these barbaric ones seldom would barge in by hook or crook eventually leaving you in a sorry state(to no good)  they were the ones, who were not If it went well, chances were very remote that things would, it could be a win-win situation. They are the least, whom I want could suffice me anyhow. 

“The barbarians broke down the gates a long time ago. The wolf - a devouring beast, is living among us now.”- Anonymous

I had chosen to stay indifferent to them for as long it could buy me some peace. I wanted my privacy to be unaffected by there tantrums. They were the ones who would go to any lengths to find benefits out of anything they could & would try to feed you me with random advises of shit, trying to blindfold me with a brighter picture, when it wasn't like that at all.

“Never let a confused man, waste your time or energy”. If you're pragmatic, you're practical. You're living in the real world, wearing comfortable shoes but if you're dogmatic, you follow the rules. You're living in the world you want, and acting a little stuck up about it. But what if you have intruders trying to curb your freedom & impose things on you - you end up fleeing away from them. - Anonymous

I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. - Robert A. Heinlein

 

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