Sunday, June 29, 2014

BEING YOUR - Own Muse

"The sun shines not on us but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fiber and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing."

There is this little time, or all of the time, that you could possibly send with your own self - self indulgence, and not even wanting to socialize, or step out of your four walled ecstasy of pampered & self-sufficient roofed musings! - One Life; & we don't have much of time in our hands' there could be nothing other then, knowing you & possibly sufficing you in yourself as the substitute/complimentary gift to your own realization to self/soul - I have only learned this as the best of a past time, worthy of anything, everything else. There exists no one in person, other then your own very self, who could possibly know you best (bad/good), you have the whole world in your head & heart you could empty your self too,filling your own very self with all thy. that ever exists.

Become aware of how your beliefs and emotions color your perception of different events in your life. See if you can begin to step out of your fabrications to experience the truth and spaciousness of what is.

Rather thunder on in bleak resistance, Swift to spoil and rigorous to deny,Than as thus to veil the sullen distance, With thy bleared and tear-stained sky.

As they say it never stop's - There it has started me again, on the verge and hunt to seek calmness of mind with a spoonful of patience, appreciation, thankfulness and peace, reaching out to all the more I could! Deeper into an understanding of enlightenment and learned, taught, and experienced faith into,onto something or nothing at all. Just looking to seek more spiritual awakening and religious piousness - true belief's into actions and more! One Life it is , a very less traveled when it comes to living it. What you are, is what you be, and what you be is what you see yourself as, not matters what and how they, seek,take,see you as, you are what you make of yourself & live. You got to believe into something. I am going to Change a bit of things for good ,that suit me, I am going to be better, I am going to be just Me. I am going to live, & make it worth. My Soul is my Best Friend, and I would never be deceiving it for no matter what it be, For I is always a We for Me & it has & shall always be like that.

Ere the limes with ruddy spear-points glimmer, Ere the greenness leap from bush to bush, While the starveling grass grows dim and dimmer,And the folded snowdrops push;

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

I is always a "We for Me" & There is More to it - Anonymous

A Sunday Morning - IT USED TO BE

Ever wondered what "one tongue" told to another - either one had to shut up, by all means' while the other blahed. No wonder, if either way it did not stopped, & continued blabbering, resulting in for sure a endless fight, what a plight! Nevertheless ears would have had come in handy' coming to rescue, unless there was a ear to ear fight all together' - Spare me the horror - There's been too much of Speaking, & too much of Hearing. (I have been speaking to myself & hearing myself - It just needs to shut the fuck up)


There were those days when I used to have a Sleepy Sunday - A Dreamy Sunday, with a Pin Drop Silence, Away from all the Activities & Chores of Life, Cuddled in the_Bed, with only One Socks on one Foot Since Could not find the Other One (Still had to search for it & get it on), Inside the Blanket doing just nothing & only Sleeping. (With some missed calls & missed SMS) and all that, that must have went & passed by during the same. Relaxed & Rest at Peace thy mind became,thereafter, after struggling to find lot of answers to lot of questions, and things in the head and heart that moved from one platform to another. Provoking instilled Memories and Thought Processes that hit you at times while you are on to yourself, alone,and so on. Away from the Social Networking, Now all set to confront the Monday Musings, with some list of things to do! Some work here and there, Some things to Sort and so on! Enough of ignoring lot of things lately ,I am hopefully willing to attend thy chores, but thy uncertainties hold me back.

And at times' "There's This That Happens & There's That, That Happens. Goes On & On"- I often find myself troubled and messed up at wrong hours. I might be on medicines, for headaches, crying with subconscious state of emotionally tormented dreams that wonder for the little while that I sleep & haunt me until I sit up, trying to make sense of. Shuffling myself from one side of bed to another, trying to crave for anything that could pacify me for the moment. From one troublesome hour to another. All because - I like the petite geometric of a busy life at times, which calms me down and I stand again and live. There then you can certainly Google down and find a reason to live, else it's all just a waste. Times you tend to feel giving an end to the fucked up' nuances, and then at a flick, you find reasons to let it go, and keep moving. You conjure yourself ,you suffice yourself, you find & compliment materialistic pleasures that give you food for thought for a while and then there is this certain pause, that passes it all by, and then the viscous circle goes on. No matter how small' I have a wonderful brighter side of my soul that makes me live, in this whole varied chaos & I am trying to. - On top of that, this heat bothers me.


Been on a Off Mode for a while, Been disturbingly busy with other Out of No Where, piled Up Business Nuances that I had to attend, in the midst of this Summery Weather, Bundles up the chores of hectic schedule and tiresome lazy, ill metaphors. Juggling between the Important & the least' I have been measuring up in keeping up to the so called Living up to it - Syndrome with faith still instilled & gratitude, with content - fingers crossed.

"What Silence Said"-They say Quiet the mind, and the Soul will Speak - My Soul is so fed up of the UnQuite Mind, that it wants to leave thy Body' or else wants to shoot the head."Beautiful Face, Begins to Fade".

As if" a PnP Device Me' Plugged In Plugged Out/Charged Discharged - Life.

There are Times, Is Time, A Moment, when you completely feel lost, in the midst of Living a Life, You Seek to Question the very Logic of Reasoning & Nothing there is that remains bad, or good for long, but you still seek to find a solution to Refuge Yourself to the best possible ways, in the best possible means. With Certainties and uncertainties that bed you all the way, and you fall down & lift up, dream, rationalize the thought process of your mind, with whole lot of things that tumble upon you, fatigue & distract you, stagnate & please you, at the same time. Future ,Present & Past in a existence that you find your soul all inside a flesh,with bony structure of anatomy that lives & die's. The Same World, different soul's, varied bodies, human & inhumane differences in a sociocultural generation. Death to Life , & Life to Death is a parallel platformed , less Time to more of Time, & vice verse , meanwhile you figure all of this, you are in a position to have lived the most of it, & you settle down for whatever however if & but'.

"Life is a Bitch - Who Let the Dogs Out.Bow Wow."

"Trying to find solace, with the spiritual enlightenment, so Religiously, that I have been dreaming about it randomly altogether. I have been waking up to the chants, and bell rings, images of of all the Gods & Goddesses that ever existed to my conscious mind, and feeding on to my wisdom & thought with prayers - hand-folded me,bowed down - trying to relate, learn & know thy greatness of the heavenly abode, in the midst of tolerance of the chaos, that bundles me up, and packs me, suffocates me and throws me down with negativity ".

If not all days' I do wish I had one Sunday morning, (I so wish, everyday was a Sunday, though) where I could just lie silent, peacefully relaxed, with smile on my face, knowing all is going to be just all right, and I would not let the faith & hope go away - My soul taking refuge, underneath my body grounded down to this earth, with sky above, with air & fire etc -  Breathe. - Anonymous.

Monday, June 9, 2014

The Rainbow.My Re-Union

My Beliefs(few based on the ones I have been filled with, few taught, few experienced, few learned, few witnessed) are caricature of my emotional very being, my emotions run around the colors of my existence. I cant rule out any one of it' for they are so complimentary. I would have no color, if I had no belief' I would have no belief if there was no color. My perceptions would be baseless if I had no fondness evolved involving the beliefs I had. I live until I believe' the ay I stop believing I would not live anymore. The more I trust on the beliefs ,more concrete they exist to me. The more colorful my emotions turn on. Experience and learned - I would not have a baseless belief' though thy shall have no color. the more the merrier either of them complimenting each other.

There been times, I have witnessed quite a repulsive, contradictory, yet practical, logical answers to my beliefs, with colors in full swing, and colorless hues. We often step out of our fabrications in quest of the truth & spaciousness of what is' & yet I have been more happier to my beliefs' that haunt me no further, and keep me alive, for I question no more to thy' I feel content with whatsoever they tell me' & stay with me' coloring my perceptions in a more grey shades of my evolution, insistence & living.

Well I am Happily [Married] to my Thoughts, Knowledge, Learning, Ideology, Values & Experience after being Separated & Divorced from the Social stigma of an uneventful union of marriage. I have Kids (as responsibilities of people & things attached to me) - that I take care of. Moreover I have My Self, with the humans & inhuman,,supernaturals and the nature, normal, abnormal and so on, adding more to the daily involved chores of tricky, vague, tacky listed agendas, - I have learned to live an eventful busy life, with all the time i spend knowing myself & self realizing on to things & people. Growing & Learning, Living.

A Loner finds a way with what all he can get and has to be busy in content, keeping peace balancing pace with the so called little socializing, living all my oneself, to the best possibilities of no regret.

I am in a Relationship with myself and my life and everything that summons it all up pretty loud & clear - few silent, few whispered, few told & let out. Now I better shut-up. - Anonymous





A Self Realized Critic-Scribbled Story

One fine sunny evening' I waited & waited, but there was no rain, Meanwhile,I tell you my story that I scribbled in vein. With ease and comfort, paralleled to my feel, I wish for all the love, and comfort that could thy heal. A little tenderness & comfort that I could steal, for I did not know who could possibly lend me some, who had the zeal.

Self Realization was the best invention and discovery that led me to know my existence and beliefs of righteous and wrong. For not always had I been a sage with perfect ratio of human tendencies' of performance in intellect and obligatory socio stigmatized demands. As I grew, my stagnated knowledge gained experience and I was fascinated with urges and materialistic comfort, then suddenly, my inner-self guided me to a more wiser me' & l knew,I would and not change how someone was to believe in ones own perceptiveness , who,what and how I was. I have made my points clear, all the only thing matters to me the most is my transparency with the spirits and souls' animals and the birds, human and not so human beings. I still look upon the sky to study the geometric's of a cloudy sketch, a starry calligraphy, rain drops, rainbow and sun and the moon. For a phase gone, new came by, night that passes by, had been shy, giving way to the witty morning sky., disclosing much ,reserved a few, droplets tender of a dawny dew. Not many that could stand the sight, for few are those, en route to plight. Life and death is part of the game, though shall exist making worth thy name.

"If you had a friend who talked to you like you sometimes talk to yourself, would you continue to hang around with that person?" Thanks to the power of our inner critics, most of us have a very poor opinion of ourselves. Yet self- contempt merely keeps us miserable and stuck in our mediocrity. "Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish." - Anonymous