Monday, June 29, 2015

Homeless-Diaspora

This briefly perceived , incalculable state of my mind, as far as I can recall.

As far as I can remember. One fine day, with a sigh to this cold blush of wind that blew pass by my face, in this scotching heat that roofed me up, as much it(nature) goofed me up.

Me and my friend on our way, moving further, taking baby steps followed by a conversational gossip to this laundry man's house (Dhobi Waala), which was just a walk away, across the road, from my home. The only thing that divided us was the road that stood parallel in between the demarcated residential plots.

A layered piece of cloth, covering half of the entrance, watching him seated in an old wicker rocker which was there, I called him, he withdrew his glance from the newspaper and looked at us.

Handing him over with this shirt on a hanger, that was of my friend, who had to get it ironed, and then leave for work , straight from my place.We waited there, outside his place,

Mud all around, fallen laid these dead dried leaves,in between the partly grass grown at intervals in that deserted piece of land. Cemented , demented, bended & cracked, walls, overlapped and hidden by these several sheets of fabric with holes of all size and shapes. A red bicycle, a broken stool, a wood bench and this mirror on one of those walls, with a comb and a sink and soap kept.

Never ever did I got the chance to go invading there privacy and explore. I would always stand outside, whenever I was to come to them.

The not so convincing covered blue sheet on this logically forceful walls holding this temporary asbestos roof. they had no proper doors, only sheets of fabric converted curtains that demarcated the entrance keeping there inferior & insufficient state of privacy to these hidden shades of grey.

There were as many as eight or more of them living in that small place, i wondered how they managed & survived?, asking to myself. Piled up pieces of laundry kept all tied up in a knotted big cloth, a short and a blouse, a saree, washed & hung to dry.

We stood there, waiting for the the task to get finished real quick util we were handed over with this shirt o the hanger nicely ironed.

After we paid him, what he asked for, we were on our way back. As I approached my friend to return him this balance, to my surprise, and utter confusion, there was no one beside me, and the shirt was in my hand on the hanger that we had brought from home. I tried to look around ,could not find nothing, terrified by the fact that, there was no one, not even the laundry man and any remains of his house and belongings. Everything else had just vanished.

Numbed to this very sight, I could not move my foot no more, no matter how hard I tried to escape and move away from this place towards my home. As if something or someone strangled me, tied me up, and was not letting me leave. All I could hear was this police van siren, that came from somewhere far, the wind, started playing its tactics, blowing the shirt away from my hand, & all of a sudden making it invisible at the next very minute. Tightly holding on to this wooden hanger, I stood there, for some minutes, in almost lost state of this fearful fit.

Seconds later ,in a snap, out of it. rescued away, to a little alert state of waking up from this weird illusion that had been dreaming, I woke up, looking around, seeing this hanger kept aside,on my bed, next to this pillow. half dozed and half sighted me, picking myself away from the bed peaking outside my window, to watch the laundry mans house. Thankfully it was safe and grounded. with everything else intact. I took a sigh of relief, trying to adjust to the very understanding of what just happened ,my phone rung, thankfully this one was not the police van siren but a normal caller tune. It was my friend, I picked up my phone, and before even I could tell him what I went through, he asked - did you got my shirt?.

Shaken & stirred once again, looking at the phone and realizing to what I just heard. even before I could actually come out of this whole mess, of trying to figure out & reply, the phone hung, & I realized, it was a dream, just followed by another. (dream in a dream) or a state of sleep paralysis.

Almost after 2 an a half years or maybe more,

Remembering back all sort of moments, that I grew up to. In my childhood, when I played here with other kids ( it was a piece of land that was more of a park then) of mixed caste,creed & colour, Even these laundry guy's children used to play with us. we enjoyed, we fought, we abused, we.pushed, slapped and cried. Though I was a shy kinds, and did not mix up that well. Still there I use to have as little time as I could. From Ice cream vendors candy man, the camera guy, the balloon sellers, all coming to this place, standing ,and watching us play, wanting to sell as much they possibly could. while all we as kids had this curiosity to buy and get something or the other by hook or crook, specially when we watched others doing so.I remember I used to look at those little deserving ones who could stare and not get ,as they watched us all get it and play with, though they joined us in our excitement and be a art of it. There were days when we used to get our clothes ironed from there, but its been a real long time though when we used to.

My dog, when died, was dig up and buried in the same very ground. May he rest in peace. All this while, I thought his soul stood there, and safeguarded us.

Today, after all those years, This house was demolished, and along with it all the memories of mental, physical and emotional time spent, came down a memory lane as a film was being rolled in our minds and hearts. We were leaving something, that we had much long before, but no more shall we be seeing this piece of land, that had our foots running down , playing catch catch, and other sort of games, when we were toddlers.

The house separated from there owners and there belongings were a sight of grief sicken agony that brought all the fond remembrance & those ones who had lost there home ,uprooted away ,left on the road came this close to there invisible tears, sucked deep into there hollow souls, and flesh that could possibly retaliate to no outcome. never had thought would have to witness, what they just had on this very fine day.

The hammer harnessed those weak cemented walls, letting those bricks fall at once, the roof that pampered the souls, who lived under it for all those years,was tampered and thrown away on the same very ground, that had seen these kids grow, get married, and bear kids.

Everything just came so small. words could barely express it.

Utensils, trunks, bed, Almira and all the belongings, were on the road, in limelight for everyone to see. The privacy of a house and there people just went through a public appearance. As if everything was there lying on the road, and now everyone was going to bid for it one by one, and the highest bidder would take it all. This Goddess Lakshmi's photograph framed/mounted, that was the last thing I saw, hanging in there on those walls.that lie deserted with no pillars now. That now had fallen apart, bulled by the government officials in white, blue and green through the court order to vacate the premise for now the possession was in a complete strangers hand.

The place demolished to the core. Everything there was just thrown out of that outlined piece of possession, The land seemed more thirsty then before, It has this bright sunshine on it, Wish it could turned gold and sufficed the greedy lots. The rest of the stuff, which could not find its place nowhere else, was kept layered and walled next to my house balcony.

For those who lived there, kept watching, it get buried to ground, and carrying there luggage'd belongings, they possibly were so very over exhausted with the ridiculed state of diaspora, that there eyes were half of the usual size, and now dried, after all day crying and suffering the misery of being thrown out of a place ,where they spent 50 years of there livelihood. They looked it all happen before there own eyes. Sadly I was a witness to this very plight for it was just across the window, off the road I live.
its been 37 years, of my watching it over every single day.

Chain tied as a fence locking down the whole area and possibly a cemented wall placed. Police vans, and government officials, court folks, and who and who not, all stood there. The people from all there homes stood there watching, consoling each other of the parking space, which had gone with the wind with this possession. Worried all, self centered they stood there, justifying there own interests and exploring possibilities and making judgmental presumptions.

it was terrible sight of plight to watch it all day long, and see those who lived almost all there lives there, standing on the street with there paraphernalia. Still adjusting on the roads in the darkness of night, with all there belongings trying to find a place to surrender it safely and cook and eat food,, hit the bed. For it wont be a easy burial and denial of all that was passe, and more worried of what was going to hit them in near future.

I pity, if only I could do anything, and as much I could still deny of the things I could , but would not. Its hard to face things that happen in a jiffy ,and more sad and vulnerable is when you know, you can do nothing about, no matter how much petite an effort of yours could possibly bring about that peaceful approach for humanity sake. melt hearts, and make friends with those souls, that could remember you forever, I wish I had things in my hand, where I never had to give a second thought to the deeds I could possibly end up doing, without being worried of the future outcomes.

NoteToSelf - I'm just tired; I just want the world to be quiet for a bit. ―Matthew Healy

- Anonymous

Monday, June 22, 2015

Virtual Pony

I have always liked witty conversations and good grammar ,new words of wisdom. legendary vocab, from urban, turban, layman, geek, without spelling mistakes. Hate it when I see it being robbed, raped and drained & dumped. I am not a perfectionist ,but I am working my way up to match the qualitative and quantitative dictionary of my English ,Hindi and Other languages with Translator, and put in all the effort I could to understand, reciprocate and communicate likewise.. I can certainly walk and talk my way out with many. Hindi is on the other hand is a beautiful mother tongue of few, and admired, and so is Sanskrit, eventually little difficult though, if it was never your main subject in school days. Interesting to know Indian languages are now being a part of International education. All other languages are as much beautiful in there own way of expression. They sound more hep, more intellectual ,presuming a person to be quite a learner specially if its not from ones genre.  The mash up of the indie English all together calling it hinglish sounds even better and quite play full and interesting. But the ones who get confused relying high and low on as little they know and would end up regenerating there own inventive lingo, kill it absolutely big time.  If at all we have all the time in the world, why would not sit down peacefully and literate ourselves and the world around with wondrous internet to our disposal, teaching and guiding thy in a miraculous way! All we have learned is to watch porn, download stuff, search, but despite all the applications and sites existing at ones disposal, one wont utilize. Sigh.

I have no issues whatsoever with People posting selfies of there petted ones, (I am sure they to there masters mean lot more then anything in the world. I mean One could make a page for there Pet, and post anything, everything, . It's just that it gets little irritating when you would rather visit a profile, or get notifications on your home screen of thy petted ones selfie then anything that has to do with themselves.! Lately this happens to be the most in thing on the internet! Well a picture of you and your petted one is fine, but We don't need a slide show presentation of your pet.!

For not behind are the self obsessed ones who are blessed with what they think is the apt thing to do a selfie session and minute by minute update it online.! Guys don't you have anything else in the world to do! Social Networking was more on the communication terms, and less on the pictorial diagrammed geometrics! I mean its okay to be fond of something or someone, may it be, your own very self, and feel proud about it, but that does not mean that you hit everyone with such irritants and make others feel pissed.

We all love our families, friends, that does not give us right to bombard selfies of them, at so much ease. God this is internet, half of the world is yet undiscovered and unknown strangely among few friends and known. Why would we want to publicize the family hierarchy. Why can't it just be me, and us. Why it has to be they and that all. Seriously it feels like a attention seeking voluntary effort. Childhood pictures are even priceless and so are those memories of ones life. Since everything has come down on the internet, I guess our privacy has run half way down to nothingness in real, but a handful of Smiley's, likes, emoticons, picture posts. At times I know we keep finding ways to update new stuff on the social networking sites, and so we shall go to extremes of doing it, no matter how emotional that little thing might look, but it would have a more merrier meaning to the ever existed old glories and the new stories of thy human heart, all jumbled up in nostalgically meaningful, yet deprived state of attention seeking human behaviorism psychology addressed to our own doingness just for the sake of it.

When will we start implying all those quotations we share. No one is in a mood to read those posted shared sentiments quoted, We all Google it these days. though cartoons are fun - agreed, but no way I want to see a comic strip running down and up from the time you were born!

As they say! "Too much of everything is bad' I hope you know that!

I am so fed up! The weird pages, advertising maliciously way to much of publicity of things no one really wants! from physiotherapy sessions, massages, old age care takers, suggested pages, politics, religion, cricket etc and other more piled up nuances that will have more then a infinity number of hits and likes and comments full of chaos and untamed linguistic expressions of ones own frustrated throw-out. I understand it to the core, for this is the way you want it to be, that makes you happy, and seriously the ones who are in the list shall make it a well pampered effort to not to forget to post an awestruck comment or hit a  like or two .

Don't we have God living in our hearts anymore, that we have to get subscribed to the daily notifications of the Spiritual Page, religiously make it a habit to check it everyday, followed after there with the vicious cycle of sharing, liking and comment posting.  Why have we become so small, so racist? We don't need to publicize our faith or love or trust by such means! There is action that speaks about the highest of piousness and neither shall such pages, make a significant change in us, if we are not even one bit close to our realness of life. Its just a Page, yeah I do agree, but then why don't we sit and struggle to find God in us, near us, around us, why we have to console ourselves and fake out the whole world,proving that we actually are one soulful lot.

I am sure you are your own pet ,and want to get pampered' (I see this is the reason you are on social networking sites, lonely, with way to much time at your disposal to get virtual then real) " I get it now", when it comes to social networking, you got to feed your own self on the internet. Why can't we spend more time learning more ways in a brighter perspective about ourselves and fall in to a self realization of one human to another, understanding, catering to the real world, and not getting disillusioned in a big foolish way, with artificial "cherry on the top" served palette. Your basic info, and couple of pics, are fine for a post, but don't tell me you don't have better things to click and post, ways to express in words, or communicate even more then you actually spend hours and days on the net hitting friend requests, and wishing happy birthdays! (I guess I for once wanted to install the automatic birthday wish application, but then I found it to be rather annoying). What fun is it to wait for a simple thank you for your wishes/messages, never seen, or seen with no revert.

Don't get me wrong I am not taking out my frustrated dilemmas, it's just that I wanted to talk about it and I am doing, for I am sure there would be many like me, who would understand and respect the "right to speak and express gesture" 

Sometimes its one of the irritant when you sit and decide, figuring it out, what have you ended doing on the internet on such social networking sites, with all the time you had at your disposal. - "I guess you just understood what I mean".

"No way I am being mean. just being expressive."

The overwhelmed pictures of thy tours and exquisite food, luxurious shopaholics and poor jealous deprived less traveled and less fed souls sit on the domain of the virtual circumference and hit likes and pour in awestruck comments. Agreed, green is not greener on the other side, I ain't going to sit there and grumble looking at those updates, thinking "what the f**k", hitting a like and posting a comment, attention seeking, to the core, happily consoling thyself to get a revert, get acknowledged of the same. After all, I get it, its all about acknowledgements and virtual ness of the whole unreal life. Very few are in the list making it a precise habitual gesture of posting ,sharing sober antics of there experienced journey called life.rest all are just those who fall from somewhere to the core of there over expected tendencies of presumptuous stagnate doing and never reach the ground, they seem to be hung up somewhere invisible.

I guess there are more and more ways , people find ways to upload anything and everything that could fill in those blank spaces between there updated walls, and never even try to convince themselves to write a two liner.

I appreciate the ones, who stand by, in a respectful way and learn and share intricacies of there life as a whole, and move on, take pains to appreciate, criticize and accept what they get in return, and settle down without any egoistic approach to self esteemed selfish horrid outbreaks!.

Is it not enough. in simple ways to be simple, and still enjoy the pompous pampered serenity of petite little things.

For the ones who feel offended any how through this status update (expression) can un friend me and I would not say a word, would understand fully on your take on it.

Make Clever Simple, & Simple Clever! - "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us" -  Knowing is not enough,We must apply!

It's way much more and above of it everywhere else, around, beyond and inside.

& Please stop posting your butt and breast selfie in that fluorescent green, and glittery pink bra.

Life is Like Sanskrit Read to a Virtual Pony!

"ABRACADABRA" - Nope! You are still a Pony.
- Anonymous

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Hebdomad - 7 Stories,Part(1)

A five minute walk (to and fro) to this Beetle Vendor for my tobacco, had 5 things, in ma thought process for each minute, until I landed back home. With a 2 more adding up to the list. Memorizing over what a weekend it had been. 7 Things that kept me busy for all these 7 days.


1.This White Balloon that came last night in its full glory, stood there, until now, though reduced in size, still strolling around my balcony walk-thru. storm thy brought in few bucketed particles of dust, and everything else that came along with it. from here there, no where. wee hours those passed by. listening and watching to some new songs and movies downloaded, spending much time on the internet, and actually doing no internet, it seemed as if Internet was doing me. The electricity out for few hours, and network connectivity lost in between, and the wee hours of those night day climaxed horizon'al phases. in between cleaning a bit here and there, sorting stuff out, calming myself with water showers, and drizzled raindrops, ice bar & cream delights, trying to adjust my audio cable that did not seem to work now, with my old tablet, that used to work pretty nice. mediating and praying ,spending time in thy corridors of my home temple, balcony cleaning and the plant life sorting. in hope for the anticipated disguised/concealed black clouds that would bring in the rain all day long,with sun peeping in, waiting all day long, and settling down with rain's - ten minute entrance and exist, making it a little cooler. music in its own peculiar way, assembling, resembling, dissembling thy whole euphoric dysphoria nostalgia of oneself, cleaning in the layered mud on the window glass to a cleaner see through. lying down,thinking on my priority list regeneration and bucket list wonders. sigh.


This Rain from no where, on a sunny,summery morning, coming to my rescue - calming up the whole situational hazards of panic attacks and nocturnal soul, tied down into thy mischief of so called challenged life, bringing in that cheerfulness on my face,glory to thy body, and peace to thy soul. in the midst of all the this and that,thy chores of life, besides few extra curricular activities, attending to thy neighbors call. simple, by & large tall, swept away, flattened or letting thy fall. trying to mend and bend the obliging stature,- i am just the same as everyone, with psyche traits of nomenclature, trying to adjust, blowing the dust, peeling the rust, keeping high the lazy bust - what is just & must. fingers crossed, begging sun not to shine too rash and harsh on thy planet earth, keep the mud wet, keep all problems at distance all let it all go well, let thy be a heaven of living hell. - here is a gist of, all said and done. now this little adulterated insanity needs to carry on with other tasks of quenching needy weeds, calm in thy needs, do thy needs, and plough in the seeds.


2. This Lizard seems to have been my new bathroom mate these days. every time I enter, I make this whistle sound, that makes him/her understand, that it does not have to be afraid, its me, and I wont do any harm to it. Still need to find out its sexual orientation, whether a male or female, need to google it.,though in the process I got to know a long list of omens related to it. It happily seems to be sitting sliding on the netted window pane, and on the tiled walls, searching for its prey(mosquitoes etc),. it is one exciting job to observe the whole process though, I make it a point, to check around before I enter.

Planned safe directions to keep the planted leafage (pots) under shade,afterall its getting hotter and there goes in too much water to the greener browner yellowish and colorful stemmed flora rooted in thy mud. they still seem to longing for more and more, despite my effort to water-logg them. Need some showers of rain on regular intervals to rehabilitate, reintegrate thy perennial verdure in the process of repatriation. The pots have been placed in a shady area, the day I was sorting them up. hugging them up, to my heart and shifting them here and there up and down, I noticed this lizard fall on from nowhere on this plant, with its eyes almost closed, as if it was sleeping and I disturbed thy sleep. later it vanished away/ with a sigh of relief. continuing my task, looking at thy plants, blooming, growing greener, with less of water intake, lesser sunlight(heat). i feel like a mom nurturing them up. the birds, butterflies and squirrels are enjoying the new placement too, I hear more noises, then before, and guess it brings a lot of positivity around. the playfulness of all the petite wondrous things around that exist, makes feel so lively. the cloudy sky, little wind, i wish it drizzled sooner & more often.


3. Water Melon after a real long time, though delivered via online shopping, was absolutely worth the effort and mess, cutting , sliding it down the throat with the seeds , n then spitting them away in a bowl ( was told, it cud b re-used ) How frutilicious it made my summery noon. By the time the late evening came, a fast sweep on thy floor, quickly watered my plants, ate dinner, drank ounces of water n milk, quenched thy hunger n thirst. shedding up thy clothes i stood there in washroom looking at the mirror, with scissor n comb, addressing thy hair cut experimentation, fed up with the whole bunch of hairdo in dis heat,decided to chop it all at once. Picking up the hair fallen everywhere to the cleaning part, a bath n back to thy love handles ,with my hands on the gadgetry ,editing couple of pictures and then this status update. Cold coffee via mixer still in the pipeline, and rest to follow. It's getting hotter by day. Even thy nights have no blowing winds.

& then, it was not a easy task, I ain't no designer, but I was on a tailor made fittings spree. Fitted & Filtered the Cooler with the home made pad, coming to my umbrage'd rescue, solving and resolving the temporary solution to the heat. (this guy, would not come and change my pads service the cooler, when ever i call him up, and they charge for nothing). in between the ongoing multifarious activities,having thy online shopped and delivered stuff to quench this heat. luckily my fridge has a whole lot of mouth watering and thirst annihilating, that could keep me busy most of the day. I am just a easy going person, petite, easy things suffice me, and I end up bargaining myself to whole lot of easy deals that come in handy and are practically decent. from enough sunlight to charge my solar panels, most of the day, to a minimalistic me, spending my time on the water cooler, from pads to filling up the water tank, and then cleaning the floor. I had a miraculous non-stop 14 hour sleep for the first time this summer, pampered by the wet drizzled damp wind throw hitting on to my face. though I have a habit to get up and get myself drenched in water, as soon as i feel all heated up. i tell you there is nothing more pleasing to get things work for you, and make yourself worked up. with few more months to go, I am still on a thought to call the service guy and get my air-conditioner serviced, for it has been 3 years or so, have got myself away form that habituated addicted delirium tremens syndrome, but yet at times, you feel so miserable when the heat does not let you sleep, and keeps you all tired and lazy, with headaches often that bring this hue n cry. keeping with the patience still, and not letting it bother thy. Besides lil devotion to the all mighty and prayers offered. Talk over whatsapp with cousin sista, remembering the old days, and how one enjoyed visiting naani ka ghar(maternal ancestral home), old fond memories of the departed and the content talking and sharing to the few ones who mattered and loved. Emotions never die, love remains the same, people change, people go. Settling down to the meal, after waiting for 3 hours of its delivery, wandering and waiting ,the hungry soul needed much instant one.


4. Washing Machine loaded with 21 clothes,collected and kept for over a week now, counted just now, can't run the machine with few ones in it & since they say Thursday you don't wash clothes, so its time to do it now before I went to sleep, just remind me i got to switch it off. just tried to google what a "fata hua doodh" was called in English (sour raw milk, that us what i came up with, still trying to find the exact term for it) and its uses. did pampered the garden with few cups of milk, and the rest kept to be applied to the skin,hair,etc one full bowl to the dog. much nocturnal wanderer that I have already become, as the day passes, its summer-some, deserted horrid petite winds( if there are any that is), or a no wind phase, hot enough to melt you down. Winding up the day with few of the chores at home and on work front. besides few telephonic calls, chats, and seeing a face or more. at times you feel good about relating to few, and to the others, you have to put an end to the useless communication that has no witty chance of involvement in for real, just virtual as much it could go, it could do justice to the willfulness of a skillful task of pampering and exchanging. - with a deep breath, at peace, heavy heart, a empty brain, and thoughtfulness Friday.

Cleaning the Fridge in summers - eating & drinking all that you see, and happily say ,I cleaned everything. From mouthwatering ice creams to sweet yogurts, chocolates, crushers ,flavored sweet lassi*curd mixed with water, adding sugar to it' & milk, meetha paan"sweet betel leaf" and its like the best air conditioner with a door that seldom quenches your heat inside out, treating you as the best host, in the best possible way. - now who wants to keep it closed. Reminds me of' when I was a kid' ,mom use to say don't stand n stare ,take what you want at once. - and I still have a habit of opening it up, and gulping down the col coffee, standing there, and looking at it while I take in the few things handy to quench thy.


5. I took this Pipe,not long though' fitting it up knotting it up with the a piece of cloth string, to the tap, as it would not hold on to it, and slip, taking it to the next and then the next room to wash thy rooms. I swept the floor with the wiper, after all the soap and all the dirt, and all the corners were wet, quenched I should rather say, have been the spirits & souls, the seen/unseen, for it was after years that I decided to do this, then the normal usual broom & cleaning. the leftover thirsty, dusty, (souls) places shall follow the same process soon. I/It felt all cleaned up, at peace. I & the floors had a good bath.


6. In tints of Shades of Grey, I see thy world through my glares on, fully clothed in grey allen solley checkered trouser,a black wrangler tee, footed black converse, thanking god, i wore no socks on, else i would have drained with the perspiring me in this sunny noon. walking down the isle, with music to my ears, hooked on to thy gadgetry called phone, some kilometers away, those seemed never to end. reaching to the stubborn objective of it to be done, pleased with the meritorious effort of making it so far on foot. I decided to walk few more steps until this rickshaw puller passed by, i called him and sat with a breath of relief, trying to re-collect my enthusiasm for this destination of work. half clouded ,i felt , feeling a bit lost, my self with a varied thoughtfulness of everything that barged my head and heart and seldom came down to a sigh of peace, still making it to thy. getting this work through, and then to the next one, forgetting to tell him where to take a turn, and then immediately guiding him so. everything seemed nothingness and meaningful at the same time, completing my third destined work, miraculously, inhaling & exhaling, saying to myself. please do take me back home now. sitting there on the rickshaw, looking and admiring the rickshaw puller's hard working, tall, toned physique figuratively and literally, telling to myself, why don't i posses the same. thinking next, how hard working this chap is like, every other, who in this heated season over exercised the paddles to earn his daily bread, should i ask him for water, if i was hungry, he sure must be. reaching down to the directive indications of home sweet home, and asking him, how much do i owe you?, to which he said, give me what you pleased, and can i ask you for a favor he said? can you please fill this water bottle of mine,on your way back when you bring thy change to give me. I said, certainly, and awestruck in the intuitive telepathy of the game of human psyche, i smiled when he made his way back. rushing in, to the refrigerator to drink anything, quenching my thirst, and shedding and loosening on to all the branded piled clothed ensembles and accessories ,taking a breath of relief. so what if i am a piece of padded flab, I still have right to look into the mirror, and be naked. and i rushed down connecting my internet to update thy.


7. After burning one fourth of the Match Box, to no avail, had to use the tiny brainy cells, in this heated weather, being more stubborn to bring about(ignite) the so called fire in the squared copper container, that had all the daily ritual left overs of a week or so,with some purification essential add-ons to it - to smoke away the evil and smoke in the pure bliss in and around house. after a while, had to shut down the doors of the room i was in for some time. not to get my self too much exhausted by smoke, until this tenant of mine called, saying, what is it , that you are burning, there is too much of this smoke, to which i replied, it was almost over. - sometimes i guess, there is no answer that could satisfy some people, and there is absolutely nothing that needs much of a detailed explanation to thy. we all have our part of excuses, for our actions, & what we listen to or speak/reply. - it's my house, my wish, i burn the whole house down into ash,with or without me in it. or i fire my floors or walls,to a complete black out. after all you are not the one coming to rescue, with water barrels ( you only talk, bring about no action, there is just a weird reaction) - absolutely no reason, to poke you nose into, what i do, and how i do it.

Spunky spirited me, on tides, low and high, neutral, with creeping determinism ,curiously anxious, timid me,trying to settle down, experimenting a connection with the immortal and the mortal. Bringing in my belief to a stronger foresighted vision, from the hindsight experience on a lookout for a tantalizing exchange. On a less deserted island, in hope for the rains and blossoms to bloom. I find the shinning light and I praise in glory of thy. Coming to an infinity of nothingness to everything, I bow down, beg for thy mercy,plead for forgiveness for myself, ancestral forefathers as a whole. Remedies that I possibly seek out for, to calm myself in totality and please thy. Dreams that come in disguise to guide, to my rescue, experiencing the other world through thy, and trying to understand the nuance of the chased chaos. I fear at times, sleep humming to the spiritual hymns. Undergoing a shallow, fitful, restless tossing, turning on the bed, last but not the least,finding my way to a restorative sleep later like a baby.


Those Wind Chimes, hung up high on the neighbors house, opposite my house, makes me feel high. They keep silent most of them time, only sing when the winds blow by - sigh! - Anonymous