Monday, June 29, 2015

Homeless-Diaspora


This briefly perceived, incalculable violent dyspepsia of the mind, as far as I can recall.

On our way to this purlieu, me and my friend, with a sigh to this cold blush of wind that blew pass by my face, in this scotching heat that roofed me up, as much it(nature) goofed me up. Followed by a conversational gossip to this laundry man's house (Dhobi Waala), which was just a walk away, across the road, from my home. The only thing that divided us was the road that stood parallel in between the demarcated residential plots.

A layered piece of cloth, covering half of the entrance, watching him seated in an old wicker rocker which was there, I called him, he withdrew his glance from the newspaper and looked at us. Handing him over with this shirt on a hanger, that was of my friend, who had to get it ironed, and then leave for work, straight from my place. We waited there, outside his place,

Mud all around, fallen laid these dead dried leaves, in between the partly grass grown deserted piece of land. Cemented, demented, bended & cracked walls, overlapped and hidden by these several sheets of fabric with holes of all size and shapes. A red bicycle, a broken stool, a wood bench and this mirror on one of those walls, with a comb and a sink and soap kept. Never ever did I got the chance to go invading there privacy and explore. I would always stand outside, whenever I was to come to them. The not so convincing blue temporary asbestos sheet roof that had forcefully covered the holding walls. There were no proper doors, only sheets of fabric converted curtains that demarcated the entrance keeping there inferior & insufficient state of privacy to these hidden shades of grey. There were as many as eight or more of them living in that small place, i wondered how they managed & survived?, asking to myself. Piled up pieces of laundry kept all tied up in a knotted big cloth, a short and a blouse, a saree, washed & hung to dry.

We stood there, waiting for the task to get finished real quick until we were handed over with this shirt nicely ironed. We were on our way back. As I approached my friend to return him this balance, that I had got back from the laundry man but to my surprise and utter confusion, the only thing I was holding on to was this shirt on the hanger. I tried to look around, terrified by the fact that, that there was no one beside me, neither my friend, nor the laundry man or any remains of his house and belongings. Everything else had just vanished. Numbed to this very sight, I could not move my foot no more, no matter how hard I tried to escape and move away from this place towards my home. As if something or someone strangled me, tied me up, and was not letting me leave. All I could hear was this police van siren, that came from somewhere far, the wind, started playing its tactics, blowing the shirt away from my hand & all of a sudden making it invisible the next minute. Tightly holding on to this wooden hanger, I stood there in a lost & fearful fit.

Seconds later, in a snap, I was rescued, waking up to this alertness, away from this weird illusion that I had been dreaming, I woke up, looking around, seeing this hanger kept aside on my bed, next to this pillow. I picked it up & peaked outside the window to watch the laundry mans whereabouts. Thankfully it was there intact. I took a sigh of relief, trying to adjust to what just happened. my phone rung, thankfully this one was not the police van siren but a caller tune. It was my friend, I picked up my phone, and before even I could tell him what I went through, he asked - did you got my shirt? Shaken & stirred once again, I starred looking at the phone & even before I could actually figure out anything, the phone hung & I realized, it was a dream, just followed by another. (dream in a dream) or a state of sleep paralysis.

Most people think that shadows follow, precede, or surround beings or objects. The truth is that they also surround words, ideas, desires, deeds, impulses and memories.

"Loss, estrangement, and distance-and a mood finely poised between melancholy and melodrama.”

Remembering back all sort of moments, that I grew up to. In my childhood, when I played here with other kids (it was a piece of land that was more of a park then) Even these laundry guy's children used to play with us. we enjoyed, we fought, laughed and cried. Though I was a shy kinds, and did not mixed up that well. Still there I use to have as little time as I could. From Ice cream vendors, candy man, the camera guy, the balloon sellers...everyone would come to this place standing and watching us play while selling things. We as kids had this curiosity to buy and get something or the other by hook or crook, specially when we watched others doing so. I remember I used to look at those less deserving ones who would stare but not get anything, as they watched us. Although they would join us & share there excitement and be a part of the games we played together. There were days when we used to get our clothes ironed from there.

My dog, when died, was buried in the same very ground. All this while, I thought his soul stood there, and safeguarded us. May he rest in peace. 

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

Today, after all those years, This house was being demolished, and along with it all the memories of mental, physical and emotional time spent, came down a memory lane as a film was being rolled in our minds and hearts. We were leaving something, that we had much longed for before, but no more shall we be seeing this piece of land in the same way that had our foots running down way back once. 

The hammer harnessed those weak cemented walls, letting those bricks fall at once, the roof that pampered the souls, was tampered and thrown away on the same very ground, that had seen the family unite, siblings grow, get married, and bear children.

The separation from a place, where they once lived for all there life(almost 50 years), & now having to lose a home, uprooted & strangled on the road with there belongings. A sight of grief sicken agony that had melted all the fond remembrance with visible-invisible tears, that could no longer quench a deserted home. Being sucked deeper & making it so hollow, one could possibly retaliate to no outcome. Never had one thought one would have to witness this very day.

Everything just became so small. words could barely express it. Utensils, trunks, bed, Almira(wardrobe) and all other belongings, were on the road. The privacy of a house and there people just went through a public appearance. As if everything was there lying on the road, and now everyone was going to bid for it one by one, and the highest bidder would take it all. This Goddess Lakshmi's photograph framed/mounted, that was the last thing I saw, hanging in there on those walls now lay deserted with no more pillars to hold a roof which had fallen apart. It was a court’s order to vacate the premise & now in possession  of a complete stranger. The place demolished to the core with everything thrown away. The deserted land seemed more thirsty then before, It had attentively brighten up with sunlight. ‘if at all it could turn into gold and sufficed the greedy lots or suffice the less deserved’. The rest of the stuff, which could not find its place nowhere else, was kept layered and walled next to my house & it seemed like, as if the wall had sympathized with there burden & lend them a shoulder to lean on to.

There eyes kept watching it happen (being buried to the ground), while they sorted there belongings, completely exhausted in a ridiculed state of diaspora so homeless. There eyes were half of the usual size and now dried, after all day venting, loathing & crying and suffering the misery of being thrown out, there was something inside weeping. 

“We can take a lot more, we the stoic nation with its legendary sang-froid."

A chain tied, fencing-locking down the whole area and a lower cemented boundary wall erected, while police vans, court officials & people from the neighborhood stood there watching. Few consoling the worried homeless & others interested about there petite self-centred presumptuous justifications, exploring possibilities about the parking space that had gone away. 

The moon shone resplendently above us - its splendid aureola seemed suffused with stolen aurorean light. It was terrible sight of plight to watch it all day long, and seeing the homeless ones  on the street adjusting there paraphernalia in the darkness of night. Trying to find a place to secure themselves & there belongings & to cook a meal & feed themselves with, hit the bed & rest in peace. It wont be a easy burial & denial of all that was passe or things in stored in future.

"I'm just tired; I just want the world to be quiet for a bit". ―Matthew Healy

Sadly I was a witness to this very plight for it was just across the window, off the road & its been 37 years, of my watching it over, every single day. The day has been a real lazy one and I feel lymphatic accordingly. - Anonymous
 

Monday, June 22, 2015

Virtual Pony


“You seem to be feeding your own self on the internet. - For you its a "cherry on the top.” Are you feeding upon the internet or is the internet feeding upon you?” 

Your basic info, and couple of pictures just about seem fine, for a post, but don't tell me you don't have better things to click and post or you are ignorant enough to figure out ways to be more expressive, when clicking pictures or communicate in words. 

No one is interested or bothered in reality about how  artificially glorified, emotionally condensed or mentally perturbed your status or status updates be. 

It’s okay to be in love with yourself or being fond of yourself, something or someone, or completely being self obsessed, but that doesn't mean you’ll keep bombarding such irritants every time. These self obsessed pricks who are so blown away by their selfie expedition & you’d see there minute by minute updates & the ones posting pictures of there petted ones. It's just that, it gets little irritating when you would rather visit a profile & all you would see is ‘raining cats & dogs.’ The worse part was about getting notifications about everything else other then you. Well a picture of you and your petted one is fine, but we don't need a slide show presentation of your pet being bathed or mated. You posting pictures about your lavish party's, tours, exquisite food, luxurious shopping must be pitying over those poor, jealous, deprived, less traveled or less fed souls, who sit on the domain of the virtual circumference and hit likes and pour in awestruck comments. ‘Grass is not greener on the other side’ agreed. I ain't going to sit there and grumble & envy you anymore, looking at those updates, hitting a like and posting a saucy comment, getting you on to your attention seeking roller coaster ride in viciousness, while consoling myself... damn!

Who the hell is interested to know about you family hierarchy. Seriously it feels like a attention seeking voluntary effort. Your childhood pictures are priceless and so are those memories. But what anyone has to do with your memories or your parental forecasts - alive or dead (may the rest in peace) but it was completely unnecessary to post a piece in fond remembrance. 
We all love our families, having said that, I assume there would be most of us, who would not even have their family members acquainted on social networking. PDA (Public Displays of Affection) over the internet was so passe.  

I would be least interested to know who you follow or who you are being followed by or to see a comic strip running down and up your time-line from the time you were born. The ones in your friend list would make it a well pampered effort, not to miss-out or forget to post an awestruck comment or hit a like or two, no matter how absolutely irrelevant or rubbish it would be.

I understand it to the core, for this is the way you want it to be - probably having nothing to do in life, this seems to be an easy thing & only way out effortlessly, keeping yourself engaged.

I am least interested in your forwarded & shared posts about religion or spirituality - I would rather be interested to know if you were self-awakened or well-enlightened enough? Don't we have God living in our hearts anymore? that we have to virtually go about looking for blessings & to get subscribed to the daily updates & notifications about these spiritual pages. I would gift you a religious calendar if you wanted one or best you could do is to have a wallpaper on your phone or desktop. Since when & why have we become so small, so racist? We don't need to publicize our faith by such means. Your fondness over internet has nothing to do with how pious or spiritually religious you are - it is going to make no significant change either. Its just a page. Why don't we sit and struggle to find God in or around us, why we have to console ourselves by virtual means, trying to prove something.

Spending vulnerable sluggish hours over the internet hitting friend requests or wishing happy birthdays is all that you do? I for once, wanted to install this automatic birthday wish application if at all it existed, but then I found it to be rather annoying. While it is good to have an internet reminding you of birthdays, what good it is to wait for a simple thank you revert for your wishes conveyed?, That would or would not. It’s all about acknowledgment you see - I get it now.

There are a few who act apt & precise about there habitual gestures of posting, sharing sober antics - coming out of there experienced journey called life whereas the rest of them are just those who literally seem to be nowhere close to real or even a virtual visibility. I appreciate the ones, who stand by - in a respectful way and learn and share intricacies of there life - taking pains to appreciate, acknowledge, revert, criticize, accept or deny - settling down amicably without any speech of hatred, without there self esteem being affected & there would be others who would get offended. 

"Too much of everything is bad, I hope you know that. This virtual-stickiness sickens." 

Don't get me wrong I am not taking out my frustrated dilemmas on to anyone at all, I am just using my "right to speak and express gesture" & by no ways I am being mean, "its just that people need to be shown mirror," I am through with this irritant (virtual nuisance on the internet). I & need to utilize whatsoever time I have at my disposal for better things.

For God-sake please stop it.

"ABRACADABRA" - Nope! You are still a Pony.

“Life is Like Sanskrit Read to a Virtual Pony”

I often wondered how not very difficult would it be for people to find things to communicate about & how easy it seems when they upload, share or forward a picture or two. Effortless In there approach to even try filling in those blank spaces with more lines then just a two word phrase, it gets even more difficult convincing them to get convinced of getting use to the convenience of reasonable social networking.

“When old words die out on the tongue, new melodies break forth from the heart - Honor grows from qualms. It is the beginning of moral consciousness."

Social Networking used to be more on the communication terms and less on the pictorial front, which now has turned more of a visual delight, leaving absolutely little or no scope for conversations.

I have always liked witty conversations with no or reasonable amount of unavoidable pitfalls (spelling mistakes or bad grammar) which make sense. 

I am open to all the possibilities of words (vocabulary of wisdom) absolutely coming from just about anyone or everyone. May it be urban-turban, layman, geek or a freak, but I hate it when I see it being robbed, molested & raped, drained & dumped. I am not a perfectionist myself either, I am in the process of learning & choosing qualitative over quantitative forms. I am thoroughly addicted to what is being dictated well. I make sure to keep beside me these dictionaries of languages which seldom come in handy to a linguistic rescue of translations, so that, I wont have to isolate myself to no or minimal of understandings at all & I would try to put in all the effort to reciprocate likewise. 

I can certainly walk and talk my way out with few languages. Every language is as much beautiful as any other in its own way, you just need to learn to express or admire. While it's a human tendency to mash-up(mix & match) things all together, a certain amount of playfulness could be acceptable at times & could sound interesting, but being completely blindfolded & relying on to self invented lingo being regenerated could probably kill it & get confusing.

Someone the other day, virtually asked me, Could you teach me English? To which I replied...Why don't you befriend internet as your wisest of teacher & a guide? With all the time at your disposal, you could sit down & literate yourself in abundance, you didn't needed anyone else to teach you anything in a miraculous way. That is, If at all you could find more relevant things to do over the internet (utilizing in a variety of applications, software's and sites that come in handy) other then the irrelevant ones (watching porn, downloading stuff, social networking venting over, spending time on dating sites to hook up for sex) could guide you in many ways then you probably thought & you don't even need to bargain a great deal. Sigh.

Why don't you teach the virtual pony to learn something new? You are your own pet & you want to get pampered & that is the reason you probably are socializing a network. You are way too lonely & free - with way to much virtual time at your disposal then real - being clueless.

When even the half of the world is yet undiscovered in real, we adapt ourselves to this unknown virtual world of sorts surrounding strangely to a few friendly or unfriendly faceless ones, with a little or absolutely no clue at all. Everyone to everything has come down on to the internet, I guess our privacy has run half way down to nothingness in real. A handful of smiley's, likes, emoticons & comments is all, that seems to convince everyone else that they are mistakenly being admired or acknowledged. We keep finding ways to be socially or virtually accepted and we go into extremes. The human perception & psychology seems to be all so jumbled up. Weird at times, the virtual nostalgic realms of peculiar enigmas in its somewhat existence seems to bother everyone then the real life stigmas. thus depriving & refraining human behaviorism to be understood in totality.

I am so fed up! with these pages being advertised maliciously way to much. No one really is going to get benefitted from more & more of these piled up nuances that will have infinity number of hits, likes & comments following a never ending linguistic blabbering. 

Though these animated gif cartoons & memes are fun - agreed, but no way I would want to see it every time popping up, with no real conversations happening. 

It was about time, we started implying to all those quotations we shared. No one is in a mood to read those posted sentiments quoted. 

Is it not enough. in simple ways to be simple, and still enjoy the pompous pampered serenity of petite little things. 

Make clever simple, & simple clever! - Knowing is not enough, We must comply! - Anonymous



Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Hebdomad - 7 Stories,Part(1)

 
A five minute walk (to and fro) to this Beetle Vendor for my pack of cigarettes, I had these nostalgic memories of things - memorizing over what a weekend it had been. 7 things that kept me busy for all these 7 days.

1.This White-Balloon (filled with gas) that came last night in its full glory, stood there, until now, though reduced in size, still strolling around my balcony walk-through. Storm along thee also brought in few bucketed particles of dust and everything else that came along with it. from everywhere to nowhere.
“Please hold my hand for every balloon needs a string to stay grounded.” - Wald Wassermann

The wee-hours had me listening to some music & downloading few, surfing the net (actually doing no internet, it seemed as if Internet was doing me). The electricity went out for few hours, and network connectivity was lost and i was stuck in the wee hours of a dark starry sky climaxed into the day sunlight. Meanwhile I decided to do some cleaning & sorting & took a bath.Trying to adjust my audio auxiliary cable that did not seem to work now but to no avail. I decided I shall wait for the electricity to come and meanwhile meditate a little & spend time roaming around the  corridor & balcony with my earphones plugged in to my smartphone, hopefully looking at the sky, wishing these disguised/concealed black clouds brought some good rain - in anticipation. Sun seemed to have been already risen, peeping out its warm hues & it was later, this shower of rain,that had eventually come to my rescue as a short time visitor in a peculiar way. I stood there looking through the glass, cleaning the layered mud & spider webs that had nestled up onto this framed window with a scrub on to thee glass.that now seem to have a clear-vision through & through. "This Rain" came to my rescue - calming up the situational hazards of panic attacks and fleeing away the sleepy-souls, like a magical mischief  which had brought a smile on my face & lightened me up. Filling in me the enthusiasm while i struggled between the chaotic chores of this and that & have managed to survived. 

2. "Water-Melon" after a real long time, delivered via online shopping, was absolutely worth the effort and mess, cutting & slicing it all down & then sliding it down the throat with the seeds & then spitting them away in a bowl (as i was told, the seeds could be reused) How 'felicitously - fruitful' it made my summery noon melony.

“I love watermelon!
Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!” - Greg Pizzoli, The Watermelon Seed

3."Hair-Cut" was the next thing on the agenda for a late evening task, After having done away with eating &  drinking, quenching my hunger & thirst, I stood there in the washroom, looking at the mirror, shedding down thy clothes with a scissor & comb & a trimmer in hand addressing thy hair-cut experimentation, after getting completely fed up with the whole bunch of hairdo that somehow bothered me, & eventually deciding to chop it all was one keen. Picking up the hair fallen everywhere & through with the cleaning part & a quick bath & back to my pavilion of other love handles; my laptop & my phone.

Chop! Chop! Chop!...I am done.

4. "Water Cooler" was not a easy task to handle, but I was on a tailor made fittings spree. Fitted & Filtered the Cooler with the home made pad, rescuing me from a horrid umbrage, solving and resolving the temporary solution to the heat. (this guy, would not come and change my pads service the cooler, when ever i call him up, and they charge for nothing). 

In between the ongoing multifarious activities,having shopped online and delivered stuff to quench this heat. luckily my fridge has a whole lot of mouth watering and thirst annihilating, that could keep me busy most of the day. I am just a easy going person, petite, easy things suffice me, and I end up bargaining myself to whole lot of easy deals that come in handy and are practically decent. from enough sunlight to charge my solar panels, most of the day, to a minimalist me, spending my time on the water cooler, from pads to filling up the water tank, and then cleaning the floor. I had a miraculous non-stop 14 hour sleep for the first time this summer, pampered by the wet drizzled damp wind throw hitting on to my face. though I have a habit to get up and get myself drenched in water, as soon as i feel all heated up. i tell you there is nothing more pleasing to get things work yourself, and make yourself worked up in the process. with few more months to go, I am still on a thought to call the service guy and get my air-conditioner serviced, for it has been 3 years or so, have got myself away form that habituated addicted deliriously-desirous addiction, but yet at times, you feel so miserable when the heat does not let you sleep and keeps you all tired and lazy, with headaches often that bring this hue n cry. I am keeping with the patience still, and not letting it bother me.

5. A Chat over whats-app with my cousin sister, remembering the good old days, and how one enjoyed visiting "नानी का घर"(maternal grandparents home) & of other old fond memories of time spend with the dearly loved departed and the content talking and sharing about ones who mattered the most. Emotions never die, love remains the same, people change, people come & they leave.

6..Cleaning the Fridge in summers - eating & drinking all that you see, and happily say 'I cleaned everything'. From mouthwatering ice-creams to sweet yogurts, chocolates, crushers ,flavored milks & sweet lassi (लस्सी)*curd mixed with water, adding sugar to it' & ounces of milk, meetha paan (मीठा पान) "sweet flavored betel leaf" along with everything, that I might missing right now. In summers the refrigerator is like the best air-conditioner with a door(window/split) that seldom quenches your heat inside-out, treating you as the best host, in the best possible way. - now who wants to close that door". Reminds me of' when I was a kid' ,mom use to say "don't stand & stare, take what you want at once, & close the door immediately. - and I still have a habit of opening it up, and gulping down things & staring at the interiors to figure out what might be of use & what needs to be done away with. I did mention cold coffee, I didn't, okay...well cold coffee has been a part of my routine no matter what season follows, its like a weather friendly drink that suffices me everyday & the day I don't have it, something seems to be missing. I have grown more closer to my refrigerator than anything else in my house, and looking at it while I open & close it, with a magic bulb that lightens up & shuts off itself is quite a magical invention. Well I wait for electricity to go at times, so I could get a good time cleaning & sorting thee.

7. After burning one fourth of the Match Box, to no avail, being more stubborn to "light my fire" in the squared copper container, that had all the daily ritual left overs of a week or so, after my daily chores of prayers - that needed to be burned in order to smoke away the evil & purify the house. "I scolded the match-stick", which wont catch fire, saying 'hey you! listen, you off-white little thing "don't test my patience anymore, I've bought you to do the needful & if you behave like this I am going to burn you black little sorry ass on fire & into ashes & curse you never to catch fire". it's my house, my wish, I burn you  or the whole house down, with or without me in it to a complete black-out & no one coming to rescue with water barrels - So it would be better if you behaved & absolutely without no reason, poke in any of your ideas of messing-up with me...& hola it worked.

Those Wind Chimes, hung up high on the neighbors house, opposite my house, makes me feel high. They keep silent most of them time, only sing when the winds blow by - sigh! - Anonymous