Friday, March 3, 2017

Memories of March




Adulterated Insanity all trapped in an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Incarnated Soul as I may sound, I just need to figure out in the process, how sane, sorted, adulterated, ripe or uncooked my very being is as of now. Too joyously & childish like, excited about the clouded sky & the sun rays peeping out of the blue, white & dusky hues (grey shades of the ironical moment). Ironical because things never last the same every time, they start & come to an end, & the very intuition of loosing it too soon, makes me sink into myself all the more.

The official meetings were super, the restaurant I was staying at was the one I had visited numbers of times before, so half of the staff already knew me there, and were aptly friendly and overwhelming. The large bed, that only had me on it, all the while, my beauty sleep, and annoying phone calls. and do not disturb tag out on my door, and then these meetings I had, the people I met, old & new. the gift that I had specially got for everyone in here, who I intended to give personally. The handmade masala chai & coffee beans mixed & matched, wisely chosen, & the chocolate cookies and a thank you note.

Met two celebrities in here and had a nice time spending time with them. God gracious me, could not ask for more.

Its been days & weeks I had been in Mumbai, was out for a business trip that followed by a leisure vacation that was unexpected, though this is like my second home, & I have always loved and liked being a part of it anytime and every time I happen to get a chance. I am not sure if I could do much justice to the story telling part, but then I had to pour everything out and admire the wondrous phase, I am led into and it has added to my Memories of March, that are coming to an end, as I return back to my home in a days time. I am going to miss it bigtime.

Shopping by & dropping by the Street Hawkers & roaming in the Market, the streets crowded, as if everyone is out to shop. I guess the lonely souls are out to get something or the other to pacify themselves. The dark ones are out to see some light, the Nocturnal ones are out living in there part.

Long hours spend on Juhu beach, sitting and strolling, wondering, wandering, from one end to another. The balloon vendor carrying all shades of primary coloured balloons, in the typical folk Maharashtrian attire/ensemble and the other vendors selling BhelPuri & VadaaPav & Pao Bhai Stalls, The IceCream/Kulfi /Candy vendors, the kids and there playmates and there games, the old & the married, the singlet's and the daters, in between those wet and muddy foot prints in the sand, those wet feel drenched. My shorts all wet, & there are these sand particles on it that make it itch, but never the less the feeling is more then merrier then itself. The rise & dawn of the sun & the moonlight sky glittering the sky that I see almost everywhere I am, they same to be following me everywhere and I seem not to hide from them ever' they certainly know what all I did & when, how I had been & everything.

A walk to the Iskon temple & praising lord praying to thee while excited about the whole Hare Krsna Hare Rama feel and then there is this parshad that I am so anxious to have, after I bow the lord and escape form his holy castle, out to the impure forms of a livelihood, still with a whole lot of pure thoughts though in disguise to the impure wonderful imitating lusty urges & negate in and around that I wish could end, & suffice me what all was pure and what all was true.

Exciting thing that happened unexpectedly was these 4 people I was to meet, as if it was destined. To add something to my story telling part. Though its evident that you come across people in day to day life, and they kind of leave an impression now and then, but not everyone does that with that great force, like these did. Two out of four (one from Delhi itself & other one from Mumbai) became over friendly and as if like we knew each other from real long. The love the comfort the understanding, the bonding, the emotions, the friendliness, the charm, the curiousness all entangled in this excitement wrapped strangely to knowing thee and thy knowing me , and in the process that followed, there was much more that words could even publicise out loud, let them be piled in the layers and let it be. The remarks and the suspicious comments and then this friendly addressing names and nice time spend with them all together. The conversations, the dine-out, the lost & found and then the found & lost part, & turning out to be an another epic in my life. Lucky me, I am always strangely a stranger at places with people who are not stranger anymore. Though as much out loud I wasn't to express every tiny detailed experience, I hold myself back and stay mum.

My last dinner here as of now, is a Goan Fish Curry, with Pudina Parantha, Rice & a bottle of Beer (this restaurant coming to me rescue), which is just below the dormitory reserve(hotel thing) I am staying at.

My heart & my head is heavy .my eyes could pour out oceans right now. I don't know how to swim, but I don't care. I feel loved & this moment this love this feeling, this beautiful phase right now is what I am enjoying. Tears of Joyfulness that contentiously wrapped me to to its very being in the act of doing something unexpected raised me from ground and gave me a high. 
"I had asked thy many times why thy stayed, and thy always said the same thing: ‘Because I love you, and I wanted to, and I knew you were in there.’ No matter how damaged I had been, thy had loved me enough to still see me somewhere inside."
"I spent the day wondering why' Why can't we work it out, why can't we work it out Remember the light of dawn, on our faces. I was giving in to you, what's most precious to me I want it all I want it all again, again. I don't wanna believe you no more, nor any words you say, cause it's only bullshit. anyway I gave up a piece of my heart, a piece of my trust, a bit of flesh and blood, a piece of me, yeah. Your love is more bitter than a regret. I see you care, but you're too scared. I know thee f*** you up and now you're loving me, From the corner of your eye, I want it all, I want it all again, again. Do you want the same?"
Now that if you ask me, Are you in Love? I would reply "Yes - I am in love all the time with everyone & everything that gives me little bit of attention now & then.& I return more then the expected favours to thee. Cupid Me."

Baby there is sadness in your eyes, I don't want to say Good Bye! - Anonymous

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