Little Bed Riding Hood

"The hidden, seeing & the peeping seemed to have been invading my privacy"

It didn't let me sleep no matter how hard I tried. Something or the other kept popping like a thoughtful window, with doors left and right as I took turns to settle to a less sleepless peace. These wide open eyes, just couldn't help noticing these shadows of the dancing leaves, on the wall next to my bed, that had these joyous or depressed impressions of the light & no light tantrums that the winds might have tamed.

While the mosquitoes seem to have been buzzing straight onto my face & ears, flapping there wings, beating up to as much as thousand times per second - getting all sort of biological signals, odor & carbon dioxide from me to find their next blood meal. Why on the earth these insects (female mosquitoes) had to suck on me to have there portion of protein to produce eggs, while the male mosquitoes chased there mate? I heard that they were attracted dark colors, but I wasn't wearing anything at all, and still they seem to have been chasing me, finding there way to flesh, that was wrapped in a thin white sheet. Although it was good to learn the fact, that some humans are just more attractive to mosquitoes than others, I feel so disheartened to realize, that humans didn't find humans attractive anymore.

I was cursing the poor little things & the repellent spray or the coil wont kill them & I wasn't willing to have this bloodshed by killing them myself.

After all the task-full customizing in hope to fall asleep but to no avail & then remembering what Mom used to say... "Start counting backwards" and you would fall to sleep, when I was a kid & it used to work, "a 100 to 1 count" would put me to sleep. but as I grew, It made me more curious about how it worked & would rather focus on counting and remembering imagery of numbers that usually doodled itself virtually and vanished one by one, and in the process I became more alert and nocturnally spoilt. Instead of being slaughtered by a sweet dream baby-sleep, I  was being a kindergarten kid who was counting to the countless. So the count increased from 500 instead. Well I don't do the counting now, I rather do other things, I am no longer a kid you see, i am an adult now. 

Most of the times its either too much sleep or no sleep at all, and I once in a month somehow, I find myself hung between those odd hours, when you wish you could die sleeping, but you were being like this imprisoned wanderer in a static state menopause.

Oh and yeah, did I told you about those funny weird things that used to happen to me when I was a kid. I am sure everyone had there part and parcel in their own childhood too. Besides the monsters under my bed, which I seldom used to be afraid of, I used to have hallucinations of myself flying-up among clouds and suddenly drowning-down in a frightful frenzy, though I always landed safe. Then there were these shadows that used to frighten me in dreams and geometrical cubes of sugar and salt that used to grow big and small and a few more, that I cant recollect now in accuracy.

It has even gone worse and vague now, this rationally practical approach to my dream land or hallucinated hollow seemed nights that I often struggle hard to shoo away, despite it viciously in loops drills my mind in a more attentively repulsive and erratic behavior and in-between somewhere whenever I fall prey to a sound sleep for any number of minutes, I am taken on a roller-coaster ride to and fro. The funny part is I most of the time acknowledge myself of being in a dream and not wanting to come out of it, wanting to wait till the end as if there was a story that I wanted to go through completely.

Damn!, I just slapped a mosquito that rolled down to my shoulder after biting me, "I wonder if he wasn't getting good sleep either". I rubbed the blood stains smeared on to my hand with the bed sheet. Guilty conscious over the sin that I had committed - seem to have burdened on to my shoulders of having killed thee & not having thee buried 'ironically'. Mosquito & I just had close-quarters at last.

I feel an urge to have something sweet, I am in my kitchen now, looking around, trying to find a clean spoon to feed myself with spoonfuls of honey. It never tasted so delicious, yummm! Here goes another, one more, few more, this ones the last and I stood there mesmerized to the imagery of a honeycomb waffled hexagonal walls, layered with honeylicious sweetness melting & pouring down in/on me, sufficing to my sweet toothed taste bud. Oh urgh! I realized looking at the bottle - I almost finished half of it which was almost full. Closing the lid air-tight & putting it back on the shelve, saving it for another day.

Back to my room, off to my bed & I already hear the birds chirping - I guess, I shall, I must, I should put myself to sleep now & dream or no dream, trying to do away with/avoiding hallucinated imagery, numbers, shadows, mosquitoes & everything else. (accomplice in arms trying to keep me awake)...Pipe down! 

I've been this "little bed riding hood" - "nearly home now, off the mad cow and feeling ill at ease, with chock-a-block nuances - Anonymous