"We don't always know what makes us happy. We know, instead, what we think should. We are baffled and confused when our attempts at happiness fail. We are mute when it comes to naming accurately our own preferences, delights, gifts, talents. The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people's expectations. The tongue of the original self is the language of the heart."- Julia Cameron
I am a seventy year old. in Hyderabad I lead a very happy life (though not very happy) but yes with all the content. You might understand how it is coping up with two different lifestyles, That's like every other house's story, mixing up and maintaining up with the in-law's and stuff. Well they have no complaints,I did everything I could with patience and wisely! I was from Mumbai, and after marriage I had to settle in Hyderabad with my husband (an engineer by profession) & in laws. I am a house wife, my husband died some years back,& we have a child (now grown enough, in the age of getting marriage).
It gets difficult for my son, not having his father by his side, & I single-handedly no matter how much I try but cant be both parents to him. he has no complaints, but I still feel that he might be going through the untold emotional shuffling deep inside him asking questions to his own self & not getting answers.At a time when he really needed a father figure beside him, he got stuck only with me coming to his rescue. I am not sure how effectively have I managed to be the best possible mother to him, but if it gets nostalgic for me now & then, how would he be feeling,, It's hard for me too at times to understand him, because if his father had been alive, he would have understood things better.
"We are each unique beings with a unique path in life. If we wish to be fulfilled, we need to go to our own hearts for direction & God for guidance"
Life does not work that good after your partner leaves you and you are all alone by yourself! trying to adjust with the society, whole politics, and drama. Despite trying to make all the odd ends meet, trying hard to make things even, my husband left me with a child ,which was enough to cherish all my live ahead. Still it's not the same being single, raising a boy (now a man) alone and taking lot of decisions under social obligations & several society pressures and keeping up with all the ill & odd nuances of life. You cant take a decision alone, because we live in a society where when you are single, the taboo hits you from everywhere & life grows on like that till the end goes on. I am not in my pink of health at this age and growing old, worried about how my son is going to cope up with the world! and the society and live ahead, may it be work wise, socially & otherwise. He'll be getting married and other social norms and obligations as he grows. Well it worry's me thinking what if I am gone, what will happen next with him. how well would he manage to cope up being the only single child without any siblings and no parents on his head to look after him & stand beside him. God give me strength and patience, may it all fall into places at right time & everything be just fine. - Anonymous
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