We're so entrenched, we can't accept bodies that don't fall on either extreme of the gender continuum. Many folks have a body part that isn’t counted among their favorites.
Encountering these attitudes in direct and sometimes life-threatening ways - perhaps because of my struggling to accept my body & imagining what it would be like to grow up as a boy with breasts.
You shouldn’t think that I am obese. I have a perfectly regular BMI with a 34-inch waist and 16-inch bicep and a 44-inch chest.
I had been a fat kid since the age of nine, but as puberty began to kick in, parts of me started growing differently than expected. I have man boobs and would like to get rid of them. I am of average weight, but I just have this fat that gives me man boobs and I've been depressed about it. "Man boobs" or "moobs" in the jeering parlance of our popular culture - a social stigma. A medically harmless (though socially lethal) condition - with the prevalence of such male boobs estimating in differences probably resulting from variations in what is perceived to be normal.
This was the time, I had realized that it was an aspect of my body that will plague practically every activity I do. It would destroy me; growing up in this current generation would be an absolute nightmare; it's a social minefield of opinions and rumors that can absolutely break a person.
As direct as this bullying was, growing up with these & by other, smaller insults, too. My friends at school would pass me in the corridor and catcall and would laugh. Some might even actually grab one of my breasts and squeeze it in front of the other kids. Not everyone laughed. But many did. Most would just say, "Why don't you wear a bra?" When my bully grabbed my breasts, he was taking what he wanted. He was also reminding me that I was no better than a girl. I was beneath him. Even adults could be cruel. "Are you a boy or a girl?" I was often asked & if not asked would be silently laughed upon. Could a decade of bullying end?
By my teenage years, I had developed powers of verbal self-defence. I absorbed cruelty and learned how to mete it back out in sharp doses. There's no doubt that this shaped the person I became, for better and for worse. At school, I managed to carve out a social niche for myself. The bullying stopped. But the shirts stayed loose fitting. I rarely went swimming. I continued to wear baggy shirts and the idea of being topless in front of a anyone or acting on that newfound attention seemed remote.
When wearing shirts, it was crucial that they be loose fitting. If a T-shirt had shrunk in the dryer, I would spend hours stretching it out, so it didn't cling to my body. You can see fat boys do this every day. Pulling at their shirts to hide the shape of their bodies, and particularly their breasts.
As a fat kid, and one who hated competition, I learned to loathe sports and, especially, physical education. The one form of exercise I enjoyed was swimming. Unfortunately, as my breasts grew, so did my shame about removing my shirt. I knew that taking it off would bring ridicule. So I pretended that I was above swimming – that I was too cool for the pool. A big part of annoyance was our trips that schools took us on as an incentive to do well. Well, everyone except from me because they usually consisted of a water park which means no top which means embarrassment. I too wanted to go to party's and get drunk. I wanted to meet new people & as much as I like everyone else wanted to loose my virginity, if at all I was not insisted upon taking my shirt off. That would be a relief, because under my shirt was a sports bra, and under that layers of gauze. My chest was still hiding wanting to get healed. In many senses of the word, I was still trying to becoming a man.
Being a testosterone-fueled guy who parties and speaks to girls it's quite obvious that i should at least have the option to get intimate with someone in the future yet that's an absolute no from me, what am i meant to say? 'Oh hi yeah maybe i do have a bigger cup size than you just forget about it'? No i'd rather save myself from the gossip and awkward encounters.
I realized that, as a boy/man, it is my privilege to flaunt my bare chest, but that wont happen in my case. Perhaps my breasts, would invite a kind of censure or I would sink deeper into physical, mental & emotional complexities.
The thing that worries me most is that I have a whole load of psychological and intimacy issues which i feel I can link strongly to my "deformity". My engaging in physical or sexual activities are very less or seem to deteriorate as I find it hard to bond with people physically. I can't wear the clothes I'd like to wear. I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this.Call me shallow if you will, but that's how I feel. There's no way I could have it surgically fixed, despite the clear psychological distress it's causing me. It was like being ashamed of something that is not in your control. There is no need of treatment if you are not at threat.
I was twenty four & was concerned, about how I looked, when compared to other people I knew,I had an issue. I felt like I was some other planet. I was not handsome and tall like the other guys. I was a short heighten, cute, fair guy with extra flesh on my upper body & almost a little around here & there. But I guess, the time flew from school to college and through my youth & I was caught up with many things at one time or maybe that was just an excuse because I was lazy & on top of that I never had anyone with whom I could things & this made me a laid-back kinds as I would avoid mixing-up with the world around me. I became self confined. Irrespective of the fact that I could have consulted a doctor or could have exercised, hit the gym, taken pills or injections. Well I guess if you have a problem, you need a solution, but with me, it was like, I didn't knew how to go about doing that. I started loosing interest in myself, struggling to look presentable, since I thought I was different from the rest of the lot. Looks matter & they certainly do. Everyone needed & deserved that acceptance & admiration. I still don't know if I would be able to do something about it.
This has affected my life making me uncomfortable with this guilt of complex that I have upon me that I would be happy & proud of getting off of my chest. Nevertheless "I am what I am, Got a problem with that"? - Anonymous, Male, 24
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