"In the twilight hours of this corner of the universe, I feel the hospital ward open up into kaleidoscopic strangeness."
Dating back to months back when, I was visiting to the hospital with my friend to see a family member of mine for almost a week now. One of the relatives had asked me to bring "Dosa" (South Indian Food - delicacy "is a fermented crepe or pancake made from rice batter and black lentils") from the roadside local restaurant (dhaba), on my way to the Hospital.
Despite no outside food was allowed from home or outside the hospital premises, I agreed (could not have said a no, as I was not at all keen struggling into the ironical blabbering, trying to convince & prove a point). I was cursing the guest while proceeding towards the restaurant to order, since I was agitated about the whole idea, about (how will I carry the same inside the hospital premises? The (guest)attendant was diabetic and so I completely understood ones reason to panic in hunger & since had no other option left with, other then to call me and ask me to pick it up & get it across. I wondered why would someone not shell out money if one was in a dire need - could have got it from the hospital canteen itself. Anyways, the not very interesting thing was that I was not carrying any bag to dump the food or else the hospital authorities would have noticed & questioned about what was being carried in the bag & asked me not to.
I must tell you his South Indian Food is really tempting, and what best if it just comes in 30-40 bugs a plate. I asked the guy to prepare either uttapam or dosa, which every would take less time, since 'thy hungry soul was waiting in anguish to feed on thee'. Uttapam (a dosa-like dish made by cooking ingredients (urad dal'Urad bean is sometimes referred to as "black gram". It is the main ingredient of the south Indian dishes: idli and dosai' - 'rice in a batter'. Since I was told to get either of it, but preferably dosa. The guy started making uttapam, but on my request he started working on the dosa,
Not very obvious to my surprise though, it took ten minutes to get the thing ready & pay the person. Since we had no carry bag with us, the the food handed to us was packed in a a brown paper envelope & into a poly-bag. We stood there thinking how were we suppose to hide the food & take it in side the hospital & then...I had an idea, that was quite hot though.
Have u ever wondered how does it feel, to have fresh hot cooked food between your legs, hanging just between your legs, banging & popping to and fro. It looked like if I was carrying a post-surgery bag, or I may aptly address it as a 'poop bag'. I was just like this kangaroo with a hidden bag/pouch 'under my kurta (a loose shirt falling either just above or somewhere below the knees).tied to my pajama's (loose, lightweight trousers fitted with drawstring waistbands) knot tightly as if it was a popper-scooper. I was worried 'what if my pyjama knot opened/loosened?' I was a "pocket penguin series edition" - walking like a penguin, since my balls(testicles) could feel the heat by now & I didn't wanted to hurt other things, that seem to be have already heated up by now, I needed to get it quickly off me, before my willy...burned down".
This hilariously intellectual & priceless expedition out of this petite unpleasant discomfort & hardly unnoticeable traces came to my realization & I fell into fit of laughs & goosebumps of giggles thinking about how thankful & a thoughtful of a disguised gesture, it had been - in an attempt to keep up with my promises in vein though to no avail since there was no scope of being acknowledged wholeheartedly ...despite being worthy of words that could have appreciated or even be thankful enough.
& all this while I kept presuming that everyone was looking at me, watching me walk so strangely through, though no one would have as evidently it might have had been. Walking like that, taking baby steps(as if you were not well, and had trouble walking) in an hospital, finding ones way to the elevator & then reaching to the floor towards the patients room. I took a breath of relief - "I was done away with the whole hot banging".
"Oh bless me Lord, for I had no intentions of causing no harm to the food, keeping it at places so unholy...just trying to make it all worthy". - Anonymous, 34, Male, India
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