Saturday, September 3, 2011

FOOD between the Legs

Dating back to months back when, I was visiting to the Hospital to see a family member of mine. One of the relatives had asked me to bring "Dosa" (South Indian Food - Delicacy "is a fermented crepe or pancake made from rice batter and black lentils") from the road side local restaurant (dhaba), on my way to the Hospital. Despite no outside food was allowed from home/outside the Hospital Premises, I agreed (could not have said a No to them). I was cursing my self while proceeding towards the Restaurant to order the same, in a agitative state of my mind, about (how will I carry the same inside the Hospital premises)? The Attendant who had asked me to bring it was diabetic and hungry as well , & hence had no other option left, then to call me and ask me to get the same as soon as possible. Else if the attendant could have shelled out some money could have got it from the Hospital Canteen itself. Anyways, the interesting thing was that I was not carrying any bag to dump the food in it, and hide it completely, so that I was not being questioned what was there in the bag?

I must tell you his South Indian Food is really tempting, and what best if it just comes in 30-40 bugs a plate. First I had asked the guy for Uttapam (a dosa-like dish made by cooking ingredients (urad dal'Urad bean is sometimes referred to as "Black gram". It is the main ingredient of the South Indian dishes: Idli and Dosai' & rice) in a batter.), Dosa, if which one of either two was available and he could cook and hand it to us ASAP. Since I was told to get either of it. This guy started making 2 Uttapam, and on my request I asked him to make Dosa, and not Uttapam.

Not very obvious to my surprise though, it took ten minutes to get the thing ready & pay the person that cooked it for us. Anyways further since there was not carry bag or a pocket that could fit in that big piece of item, I had an idea, that was quite hot though.

Have u ever wondered how does it feel, to have fresh hot cooked food between your legs, hanging just between your legs, popping to and fro. It looked like if I was carrying a post-surgery bag, or I may call it a 'Poop bags' or a Male version of Kangaroo hide bag/pouch(under my kurta "a loose shirt falling either just above or somewhere below the knees of the wearer". tied to my pajama's (loose, lightweight trousers fitted with drawstring waistbands) knot tightly as if it was a popper-scooper. I walked as if I was a "Pocket Penguin series" edition. Walk like a Penguin.

Me being Unnoticed at first, despite having a & getting irritated with such gesture(what the hell I just did), It seemed as if everyone was looking at me, though no one was as evidently as I thought. Walked in Hospital as a penguin and as soon as I reached the floor of the patient's room, I took a breath of relief. The bag kept on banging on my testicles & I could feel the warmth of it all this while.

- Anonymous, 34, Male, India

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