Monsters Under My Bed

“A monster's worst fear is of being found.”- Richelle E. Goodrich

As a child, I would always be so afraid of these monster's who I thought existed under my bed & would trick me to put my feet down, and as soon I would, they would catch hold of my leg and pull me down under the dark hollow gap between the bed and the floor. The dreams at night would even get worse, if at all I slept.. I would always make it a point to check under my bed in daylight, that's when they would not be there.

Maybe it was just a mere imaginary perception of my tormented self way back. I kept unwell and it was a hard time that lasted really long - a troublesome period for me and my parents, especially at nights (that's when the monsters would vigilantly hide, holding a grudge). i still remember how my parents would stay awake with me trying best to bring about peace.

As I grew, I realized there was a figurative & a metaphorical manipulative logic to the whole rationale of meaningful or a meaningless one. I no longer look under my bed now, its only when I have to clean or else when I need to find something that drops & slides under the bed. But still today at times few shadows haunt & fright me.

“We stopped looking for monsters under our bed when we realized that they were inside us.” - Charles Darwin

There is always a reason of things happening in and around. it's a way how things would give indications - guide or warn to about vulnerability or to stay safe & protected eventually.

Other then that, I remember days when we felt more often these earthquakes, that would be so powerful. Nowadays' I don't even feel them. Maybe because I've already been cracked & tremored uncontrollably in the past with much of things happening in my life. Trembled, stirred & shaken to a contrastful of forms (imaginary, surreal or real) to the core for too long, my petty-petite self being fed to these turmoil led tremors so wrong. I have outgrown my adolescent appetite for being shocked anymore.

We all have become less grounded these days, so engrossed with our shit, then we were way back and that's the reason these natural calamities & disasters don't really pester or bother us anymore. We've been foolishly quacking so much, that we hardly hear or understand the voices of our innermost self or the ones those surround. We've been surrounded with so much of negative vibes around, that we hardly get any positive vibrations. still if you think & feel you are being vibrated I bet, it was something else.

"Few questions may never be answered with certitude"

I was going crazy for years. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year. I did not imagine my life moving forward in a satisfactory way closer - far or near. I looked at the traffic lights, they seemed so flawlessly enlightened. I looked at the sun, the moon, the stars & clouds less frightened. I couldn’t look at people any more, i had lost my faith & trust in them & as much as I wanted to stay away - lightened. i had lost faith in them. I was still searching for answers so intensely heightened.

Thought about disappearing - to leave this place, looking for a life, some place else. I so wanted to hit that reset button, I wished - I could have pushed, opening up to a clean slate. I wish everything changed,. If only could I eliminate faulty parts, striving for self-improvement so estrange.

There was nothing more emotionally or materialistically, valuable then the bed I spend sleeping in my childhood on, that too had gone. I hope to sleep less deserted & more sound now.& these earthquakes or the monsters under my bed, I shall slay & mow. - Anonymous.