Embarking on to a journey that just started, struggling to find the more we dwelled. if at all, it might last or be an end to soon. It took us with a surprise without a benefit of doubt, certain we were going to have a good time together. Paralyzing our hormones into a stand still of if and buts of abruptly sufficing to things in limits.
Everyone has there own sets of expectations, conditions, urges & a task-full attempt to get lured, not necessarily pretty.
We are choosers, our own masters - reluctantly or wishfully adapting to the agreeable or denied and hence we for our own good or worse let it hung in between, based on our past experiences and future outcomes perceptibly peculiar & uncertain, possibly unseen to this situation we got our selves shelved or involved into. These self inflicting conscious mind set shades of grey, risen from a convincingly comfortable agreement that we came in reunion with.
We gave each other hints, but most of it was still piled under our skin. I tried making these moves with minimum effort to convince you and make you feel easy, adapting to the limitless boundaries, yet not forcing anything upon you, or make it look or sound like I was being too pushy.
My emotional strings in aspiring tendency to not let go off the thoughts that were running deep down, wanting to unleash the person I was inside, wanting to pour out my interpreted dialogues in conversation of whispers to you when I was beside you(a complete stranger). You too felt the same deep inside but were hesitant not to break the self raised & erected boundaries and seemed committed to keep the promise you made to yourself. But it seemed like, was on the very edge(verge) of getting affected or being broken very likely-unlikely slowly or gradually in bits & pieces.
The demarcated wall between us, still confessing to have been eager to make it invisible and rejoice, carrying ourselves to this caught up act, being pushed forward by our hidden secretive desire to mingle in a strange way. Struggling to pour from both ends and spilled, getting us drenched to this pleasure-some harmony of flesh and soul, we stopped unsure of how the other person felt, couldn't mess it up and had to play it safe.
We have often, now & then find reasons to console, ourselves with & relate when it comes to letting go of our unacceptable self centered wit. We play blindfolded to this existence of greed deep inside us, knowingly not to have possibly had agreed upon to.
Friends with benefits or without? I often wondered, if at all it wasn't going to be beneficial why were we being friends for? We tend to mingle, because we are single, and in our desirous approach to get benefitted befriended. I guess everything had its pros & cons, and flaws & merits.
The world - "every other person was a stranger, yet everyone desired in the same fashion, existed with the same relevance of benefitting and not letting it go."
Are we meeting or mating again? Was there remotest of possibility, we could be friends? - Anonymous
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