Stains & Bruises

"The mind can be like a monkey running through the jungle, get seduced by the millennium of the senses...swinging from one to another."

It was difficult 'Paying attention whilst playing priest'. i could no more sit right, up tight...criss cross legged. I had a swelling everywhere. I seemed to be pumped up like a air balloon. 

A rat just dropped out of the sky (literally fell off a bed headboard) onto my head the other day, a blessing in disguise; it may. It was like thee came unmounting the holy deity, wanting to have some fun time of its own.

Despite my first ever human touch were doctors after being long quarantined, who weren't either interested in listening to my stories.

Emotional bruises over physical ones were hurts that made it more difficult to get through. You're tired and wounded–& you might try to over protect yourself, so you decide wearing boxing gloves on and being in defense mode. Now its not more or likely that you'd be wearing a bulletproof diaper & a helmet all the time. Maybe it was your dearly dead ghosts forcing you to avenge your enemies & play Hamlet.

I always had these sudden unexplained bruising or blood-filled spots under the skin & the frequency of blood-clot stains or bruising remained almost the same. I don't know where they came from. For the ones I know, I would tell you about; Few days back I had a fall & I had fractured my hand. It was like something or someone invincibly invisible, imaginary had pushed me few feet away & on the ground. These particular painful, hideous, insidiously angry purple-black,  lurid facial, dullish, fresh and livid mighty dorsal, huge, swollen and gruesome grotesque. It was terribly insane to get more broken, just when I settled thinking everything was just about fine. This was happening every single day now.

"Love bytes were definitely an invention - a wild & passionate risk-free way of giving wonderful multicolored (rainbow-hued) bruises manually. I wish I had them often"

"My heart in fact dangles from a tangle of strings. The ends are grasped tight by numerous people who yank and release, having caused many painful bruises over time." - Richelle E. Goodrich

I woke up...once more, somewhere again in-between a series of sudden re-nap's, finding myself...murmerig to the last face awaken, lying next to me "I needed a cup of tea" & ending up having a small talk & bidding goodbye to thee. I figured there was no one there, who could possibly make me a cup or two & I needed to waste another ten minutes or more to come back my senses while everything else brewed up. I needed to escape from this abundance that had cluttered & danced in my head, from one to another(irrelevantly unsynced). The deja vu of seeing things more then twice (like a film), exactly how I had left them years back. I could have fallen down again, leaning towards the other side of the bed, burdened by & clotted with stains of the extra ordinary while I sat, but I pulled myself up to this coffee smell. There was a huge in reverberance & forgotten almost’s. I had to be very kind to the cup this time, while I held thee. I didn't wanted it to fall again & again & get broken apart ending up cursing the magical mystery ride - rise & fall. 

Stains everywhere; coffee cups, water, milk, tea & the bruises on my hand. Dried water stains on the floor from last night, that by now already had piled above thee mud on itself, smudged by the footprints. Thinking about having to clean them makes me exhausted. I've seem to have lost my energy. Night spirits were about to leave. 

Licking over my dried chapped lips with my tongue to make them wet again & again, "I firmly hold myself up on the bed trust me, but my mind keeps sleeping in utter lucid alertness. “I still wake up asking myself up, what do I stand for? afraid of this drowned dizziness, that I might fall apart, fall down."

Lately, I had been sleeping with mouth open, having difficulty breathing. I get up, sit doing nothing but wander in lengths about how these noises & vibrations(snoring & palpitations; rants (caused by the heartbeat & soft palate in my throat & nostrils) had sporadically dwindled away the moisture & left me thirsty...not letting me sleep.

“Yes, some mistakes leave their mark, like the infidelity stains in the backseat. But in time they do fade.” 

I wish I had someone to accompany, scrub me when needed, cook me food, travel along or just stood by me. Not sure whether it would be feasibly reasonable to demand a need to have a live-in relationship, a matrimonial alliance, I was sure about one thing that it was not just about getting laid. I could possibly adopt a pet, get a servant or hire a maid. 

An embodiment of gluttony, scavengers sent by God to tear and devour, 'Dogs are man's best friend'. They would often represent you, while other times stand in for people in your life, having stinct towards friendship, loyalty, and protection. I saw a loved deceased dog alive in a dream, hiding, taking a refuge in one corner room, inside my house. He looked cold, may be afraid, as if he was beaten up & strangled - Maybe threatened by more enemies then I thought I had. He must have been scared. He was gasping for air I asked him, "what are you doing here?... His wide big eyes looked at me, maybe complaining or begging me to let him stay. It could also mean that you are lonely and need to find more friends. Seeing them could be an interpretation that you could wait for reconciliation with one of your former friends(a precursor to the renewal of former friendships).

From constant soft grunts and whines, this litter of newborn puppies across the street have almost developed into yips and barks. I guess I am eventually once again going to have some company.

I seem to be the only person talking or hearing myself & everything either was mute or inaudible or I had become deaf. I kept on saying to a long lost soul who had visited me after a decade, to order whatever, but make sure it was vegetarian. Have you ordered? What is it? is it a Burger?  I also said looking at the face, I missed you... No response still.

 While the moon is still out & I am on my bed, I hear this nightingale with rich repertoire whistling. As soon as the night is over, outburst of amusement gales would diminish.

"My head's under water, but I'm breathing fine, you are crazy & I'm out of my mind" - All of Me, John Legend 

P.S My enemies had already caused a great deal of assaults & by now I had learned how it all works. I possibly still could have a friend with benefits(immunity) than to have a foe with enmity.'I could offer you my Bed if only you could get me Breakfast' or Please I propose, "We never see each other again after tonight.' - Anonymous