Thursday, March 31, 2011

SEX with SAME/OPPOSITE


Located in Kolkatta, I am a 25 Yr. Old. Guy I never had sex with a Women until now! Well I am not very sure if I am interested in Girls much or not, I mean yea I had it with same gender though! Well I would not mind having stuff with a girl though! I happen to have some fun precisely cant mention what all with a Girl, almost same age (5 years younger to me). But yeah the sex never happened as precisely it was meant to be, other than the orals and stuff. So I am worried if I could do the anal part pretty well or not! It does not troubles me if I would be a good sex partner or not, I am not even in a mood to have a same sex marriage or any sort done! Its like I am not Gay, maybe a bisexual or curious enough! But would not miss a chance to do it with a girl certainly! - Anonymous

LIFE'S HARD


Located in Bangalore, I am a 70 Yr. Old. in Hyderabad I lead a very happy life (though not happy) but yes with all the content! U might understand how it is coping up with 2 different lifestyles, That's like every other house's story, mixing up and maintaining up with the in-law's and stuff,. Well they have no complaints,I did everything I could with patience and wisely! I was from Mumbai, and after Marriage had to settle in Hyderabad with my husband! A Engineer by Profession and me a house wife! He died some years back,& we have a child (now grown enough, in the age of getting marriage)! The issue is life does not work that good after your partner leaves you and you are all alone by yourself! trying to adjust with the society, whole politics, and drama.Despite all the odds, my husband left me and child enough to cherish all our lives! Still it's not the same being single, raising a Man alone and taking lot of decisions under several society pressures and keeping up with all the nuances of ill and even odds of life. You cant take a decision because we live in a society where when you are single, the taboo hits you from everywhere! Life is still going on, I am in my ill health at times and growing old, worried about how my son is going to cope up with the world! and the society and lif ahead, work wise and socially ,when he gets into marriage and other social norms and obligations! Well it worry's me thinking what if I am gone, what will happen next with him! how will he cope up being the only single child without no siblings and not still married! God give me strength and patience to work things out pretty soon! - Anonymous

EX,USE-ME-MISS-USED


Located in Mumbai, I am a 38 Yr. Old Media Person, belong to this Fashion/Glamour Industry! Well was kind of Emotionally MISS-USED by someone who wanted to climb up the ladder of success climbing it all through my shoulders! I was agitated, perturbed, and have lost all the faith on anyone now! I could smell it before, but thought maybe the person wanted me emotionally and cared for me as a family and this relationship would be a long lasting one! What I realized in course of time was, I was the one being a prey to (the new gen scenario - of use and throw), & had no idea in the starting that I was being emotionally ,mentally & physically being utilized! Thank God I did not invested much of my emotions and time and stuff in this person, else would have got a heck of a shit! Why we need someone these days, whom you want to climb up through - using them, making them a part of ones utility for achievement ! a stepping stone, a stepping ladder to climb on to wit all the emotional atyachaar(turmoil)! Very Weird ,blunt and the funny, but sad part is that the Generation now a days think this one to be the easiest way out ,to sleep and get done with it, either way. Emotionally or Physically, making sum one Emotionally engrossed, letting sum one fall for you & you easily becoming a prey to ones selfish motives! Sometime back I heard how a Model used a Journalist in the same way! The same incident of MISS-USE thingi has happened with me twice! and others just came and went, because I judged and intuted them before, and strongly got over with them! - Anonymous

I AM GAY


"I tell myself I am searching for something. But more and more, it feels like I am wandering, waiting for something to happen to me, something that will change everything, something that my whole life has been leading up to." - Khaled Hosseini

I am a 22 Yr. Old Boy from Delhi,India, originally not from Delhi though, but now have shifted my base in here along with my parents! - The thing that I want to share is that I am GAY (that's what I would call myself, as of now, since I am more curious towards guys and less curious or not at all curious when it comes to girls!). My sibling has a hint about it that I might be curious and inclined towards the same sex, since I've told about it to ma sibling! But i have no idea on how to take it further! I mean as of now I know I am not going to get married to a girl, & since I am in a age right now, would be more or less concerned about studies and exams, rather on matrimonial accomplishments!. At times I do wonder (what if I had not been gay), and at times I feel good being one! Well have come across all odd and even amount of people in a little span of some months over the internet on social networking websites! Met a few people, not much explored Sex thought but still in the process of it! Well It's weird at times when I come across too mature guyz, and at times, when I get across same age guyz! All I feel is what would be the reaction of my parents when they come to know about it! and how would they kind of react on the whole issue. Well I know my sibling is there to support me and talk to them about it. But to an extent? right! From there ,that point ,I need to figure out my life and social norms, and traditional concerns and values & stuff! Well right now I guess would not want all these things to bother me, and Would rather let it go as it is! and see where life takes me, and how it takes me! welcomes me!, I feel much relieved, sigh! 

Don't know where the time went, stuck in the wrong mindset And I let the rules bend When I know that all along they're made to break. Hey, you got me searching for reasons, to keep me from leaving & that I have trouble breathing. I give myself another chance to stay, hold me close and I won't leave. - Anonymous

ADOPTED


To love. To be loved. To never forget your own significance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you.To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.


I have spend loving my parents my entire life, & would keep on loving them as long as I live. 

This was today, that I got to know, that I was the adopted one. I heard the winds chime chirping it too, long back, number of times, but I kind of ignored, I wasn't sure, I believed and thought It to be a hoax sham , & so it all became passe, and It did not bothered much, even if it did, since there was nothing that would change anything at all, since it never did all this while. I never felt it that way! This came as a sure shot hit this time' straight on my face. 

I was told that My dad died in an accident and my mother expired too after giving me birth! (regardless of how much of it was true and how much of it was just to calm me down, or making sense). 


I still am not very sure, of taking it in and believing it to be, realistically perceivable to my mental agony of peculiar being.

The glimpses of my whole childhood, as much I could remember ,school/college days. & every bit of everything and anything just flashed, like a melodrama, sucking me up into a nostalgic fit of shock. I stood there like a dead zombie, who was just shot dead.


But all I know & It does not make any difference to me at the moment is the fact, that I have got all the love from my parents (the ones I have - real or unreal) & have no complaints, No matter what ever the reason would have been, and whatever the circumstances. Although somewhere I feel, I could have been told this much earlier, though I am sure it would never had made any difference, because there has absolutely nothing that I was deprived of ever, at all. But still, I could have learned to accept being one, and maybe things could have been a little more practical & sorted out.

Everything was the same as ever and it shall be, that's what I wished and hope for! But still somewhere in my heart this fact remains, and It would be there until death do us apart, that I was welcomed aboard(to this family)!. It was just the internet & one close friend that I shared this with, as much as I was told, and As much I was known to know.

I did not knew how to react, I understood, that I was being told this because, it was the right time, and it would have not been any better. Nothing more I was told about, as if there was nothing more to it, I never inquired about it either, My state of shock had taken over my curious juices away and dried them leaving me on a deserted island. I stood calm, but deep inside, right now ' I could burst out into gallons of tears. 


With all the strings of strength of courage and calm, that I could gather. I remained mum, silence took silent steps, I got up, went to the kitchen, to make a cup of tea for my parents. My lips were dried, and glued, I felt, I was the one being sued. Strangled shades of grey, away that blued.

Unclear about the whole scenario, the epic as I call it (epic of my life), I was loved by my family in abundance, & everyone around, despite now I knew why my relatives were a little indifferent to me, & why I never mixed well with them socially. It got difficult to cope up with the so called stigma, and changed my emotional behavior a bit, the acceptance was not about adjusting, but the adjustment was made to alter & accepted, though I felt, it never was the same way around.

Though it has not made much difference, but whenever I hear the word 'Adoption or Adopted' from anywhere, everywhere, I feel It's me being talked about, & whenever I am addressed with issues pertaining to the same, either direct or indirect, I feel low and alienated, as If ,I had no one at all, & that I was the only one, considering myself to be an outcome of some mistake, if at all that ever happened.  It was not easy, in the world you live, when you are tagged with such tabooed nuances. No matter how peaceful or sorted it might stay within you, it always haunts you around.

I have always been and would be a part of this family who from the very beginning brought me up, loved me, and tenderly dealt with me in a fragile way, I could never ever believe, I could ever had slightly been deprived, or neglected.

Life as changed, shattered -  I would not be the same again. There just remains this grudge, why Me? ...“End of Imagination”- Anonymous