MY BY CHANCE PETTED - Animal Kingdom

There were these Dogs on the Streets, that have been friendly from ages, like they were meant to give me company from years. as the time fled away, I made friends with them, the older ones, those vanished ,died and went away, the newer ones those mated, and strangled and starred, and reincarnated - from puppies to the big brats,. There would always be three of the sorts, or maximum two, once black, and one brown, and one character in some shades of brown ,cream, or off-whites. The Black & The Brown one are fond of me, though they don't have any specific names yet, one is Kalu(Blacky), & other (Brownie) is called whatever comes in my mind, all I know when I call them, or they see me, or hear me coming, they would come running to me, wagging there tail and starring at me, in anticipation of food or play. Brownie is a playful actively notorious one, the Black is a mature old lazy set back.

I had almost had 6 of them(dogs), bought from the vendor's, breaded puppies, brought in from the school, roadside & and petted at home too. I guess had been fond of them from childhood only. Also had parrots(twice), as much as I remember that I had petted too. Though I don't remember much of the name of the dogs & parrot's other then "Mithu"(parrot), and the dogs "ilu", "pluto", "ralphy" "bozo"

The Birds chirping, coming from different ends of the climatic regions, from no where ,everywhere to here. The Crow, and the Sparrows, and the colorful species of other birds (name yet unknown) down on my garden area, near the gate, and the letter box, where I happen to keep things for them to hog on to.

Squirrel & the Family, too make occasional visits, though they would fight at times with the Birds, so they could have all the fun, but it's all in a playful manner.

Recently, the Cat has been enjoying her winter snuggling into, sleeping on to the (Water Cooler Filter) kept on the Window Air Conditioner Outlet. She at times, runs down inside the house, when ever the open door catches her attention, and droves away to the other end of the interior of the house, from where she finds her way passage climbing up through the steel wardrobe, to the outer word (via grilled window pane), & from there climbing on to the First Floor and then coming down to the outer balcony of the First Floor Tenants to the Roof of my Office Area interiors, back to the garden, and climbing again on to the Air Conditioner finding her way snuggling back to the Filtered-Bed. The day I had this Filter put down on the floor, I did not see her come at all & sleep, so decided I shall put it back, and once I did that again, She has been a regular visitor since then, sleeping nights, and at wee morning hours, and extends her sleep rather a little longer when she finds her self dozed & lazy. The Cat is quite a Shy character, and gets frightened very soon, but at times, does not act seeing me at all, or hearing any noises, at times, when you are close to it, it would run down climbing somewhere, frightened. i still have to make friends with her on good terms.

Welcoming to my wholesome family re-union it seems they were (The Rat's and there family) to re-join me once again. I remember long back when I was a kid, and I kind of petted the Mice, near my Water Cooler, (Little pink poor things, that would seek my attention, for not much grown I was at that time, & did not knew how to take care, had to do away with them. After years. the Mice and the family once again, have been playing around in my House, specially the Bed Room. I hear noises, (when they cut into my wardrobe wood, trying to make way for there leisure time entertainment past time). Now the two Rats, (not sure which ones the male or female or who so ever, whatsoever they be, have given birth to two little ones, these two are not much worried about anything at all, one lazy fellow would sit on the Laptop adapter & make himself cozy in the winter, the other one is active and notorious. These two would keep on running down in shorter steps and hopping around, finding there way to teeth around anything they would get. The other day I saw them playing on my moccasins(shoes). I was little worried and had to re-check & shake them up to see, if I could not by mistake put in my feet & hurt them ,if they were inside it, eventually it happened the other day, This one of them was inside it, and I could feel something inside when I was almost putting in my feet in.

I just could not manage to reluctantly overshadow there joyous and playful deeds and activities, at the same time, it was getting much annoying, and I still wonder what all I would have to do to sort it all out. 

It has been a regular habit of mine, feeding them all. though sometimes, I miss it. apologies for the same to the Animal Kingdom, that surrounds me and is friends with me.

Lucky to be friend's with animals surrounding me, adding to my day to day chores & activities, (rooted and bonded with nature and it's spices, along with the human's is a wholeheartedly feel of a life's fulfillment) keeps me down to earth and at ease.

Honey Bees and Butterflies, and Mosquitoes come and go, at times, fondling around with flowers and leaves, in the garden, and around. That's almost all about it. Yawn.  - Anonymous

Invade & Evade

"What reck I of such evil? / Thy pride hath thee betrayed,

That thou deem’st my homage / should e’er to thee be paid.

Know thou in truth full certain / the thing may never be:

Nor shall I e’er be ready / to look for faithful friend in thee.”

There is a series of hand-prints on all the mirror like surfaces around me. I don't think it mysterious but at times, I wonder what if it was? & it would jolt me. Was I being invaded by the ghosts or the living dead. Around me there could be the handprints of God, which I cannot always see. I guess, I need to look for handprints more often and have to be prepared for surprises. How often, I wonder, does anything or anyone leave handprints, but I'm too busy or too self-absorbed to see? 

We are often confined only by the walls we build ourselves & I'm afraid the walls have ears and perhaps even these benches on the boulevard here may be able to listen and tell tales. I couldn't help but to raise mandatory walls around me, though there were cracks & holes in them through which everything else seemed to invade & evade at the same time, finding its way through the passage of time at intervals.

“Some things take hold of you. Invade you. Own you. You want to be free of them, but you never will be.”

It was a difficult task to put boundaries & demarcate. My life seemed to be invaded by uninvited people in large numbers while I was still in the process of learning how to evade few or as many I could. There would be few, who we would want to be invaded by in an attempt to surrender completely to a sense of security without any hindrance trying to find solace & comfort, but trusting everyone sugar-coated could be risky & the ones could thought you could turn on to, would not readily be available always to help you out. There are these parameters & limits we set, often restricting and balancing this whole act of being invaded & evaded. There were more chances of likely being invaded by the ones we don't want - they shall always find ways to intrude & be invasive. The more we try to evade - escape or avoid someone or something by guile or trickery or by other means(any)  - the more it comes to us in ways so many. 

There was something weird about strangers who would poke there nose uninvited & if at all you invited them, it would most of the time end up being revolting rather than rewarding. 

I figured out, that I was thorough with the knowing them part & pity they could not even get hold of mine. There seemed absolutely nothing left to dwell into - I had completely lost interest in them & now they were even more estrange to me. I had lost any bit of interest that I could have ever gathered to face them. I had nothing to do with anymore but as they say, at times you have to end up making a donkey your father. At the times most desperate, when you have no one coming to your rescue, these barbaric ones seldom would barge in by hook or crook eventually leaving you in a sorry state(to no good)  they were the ones, who were not If it went well, chances were very remote that things would, it could be a win-win situation. They are the least, whom I want could suffice me anyhow. 

“The barbarians broke down the gates a long time ago. The wolf - a devouring beast, is living among us now.”- Anonymous

I had chosen to stay indifferent to them for as long it could buy me some peace. I wanted my privacy to be unaffected by there tantrums. They were the ones who would go to any lengths to find benefits out of anything they could & would try to feed you me with random advises of shit, trying to blindfold me with a brighter picture, when it wasn't like that at all.

“Never let a confused man, waste your time or energy”. If you're pragmatic, you're practical. You're living in the real world, wearing comfortable shoes but if you're dogmatic, you follow the rules. You're living in the world you want, and acting a little stuck up about it. But what if you have intruders trying to curb your freedom & impose things on you - you end up fleeing away from them. - Anonymous

I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. - Robert A. Heinlein

 

WE ESCAPED - From Beijing

Mr. Lash and I escaped from Beijing without getting lung cancer. I miss my servants, obvsies, but not the smog, crackdown against foreigners, and new restrictions on buying drugs over the counter. I couldn’t get my usual stash of Zopis to bring home in the diplomatic bag, so now I’m on the jetlag express and sleepless in London.

Staying up late watching old movies isn’t sending me to slumber. The dead glam heroines from the upper and downer years of Hollywood keep me awake analyzing them. Clever casting uses an actor’s biography. Men go to bed with Gilda and wake up with self-destructive Rita Hayworth. That's good casting. Bad casting has Gwyneth Paltrow as Sylvia Plath when nobody believes Gwynnie would gas herself over a man. She’d be more likely to bake a cupcake.

You’re supposed to drink camomile tea for insomnia, but the last time I drank camomile it made me dress like a plant. I even considered eating a tofu burger. I don’t want to be lobotomized, just catch up on my beauty sleep. There’s only so much Touch Eclat can do for dark circles.

I had no choice but to visit a witch (like the other Vivien Lash in my evil twin's new book, Spying on Strange Men). She had a bad-tempered cat and nostrils big enough to move in a family of five. She was formerly a groupie to Nick Cave, though I’m not sure if he knows that. She studied witch therapy with the person who taught the person who taught someone I’ve never heard of—not Harry Potter.

The witch was all for blaming Mr. Lash for my sleep problems. And to be fair, it was he who took me to China. But no, he doesn’t accidentally punch me when he’s asleep. That might knock me out at least. "This guy here," she said, banging the table until I checked to see if Mr. Lash was hiding under it, "has work to do on himself." Certainly he has work to do. Not on himself, on account of him being practically perfect. But I kept my mouth shut. Never disagree with a woman who keeps a broomstick handy.

A banishment ritual was in order so I lay on the floor and was covered in stones. The witch rang bells while the cat strolled in to scratch me. "Your cat needs a manicure," I suggested. When my session with the anti-Satan was finally up, she gave me a potion. It didn’t work, probably because I was told to dance naked on the full moon with my cat. I’m shallow not stupid. I know that tickets to the moon haven’t been sold yet.

Next stop, hypnotist-to-the-stars Serena not van der Woodson. It’s not clear if the stars are Venus and Mercury, or Kate Moss and Johnny Depp. Serena told me to imagine I’m on a fluffy pink cloud with loved ones waving at me. I was dying to laugh. Instead I faked a big snoozy trance.

Shelley Von Strunckel, the famous astrologer who teaches meditation in her home, was my next stop. A man in a mask had already made himself comfortable on the sofa when I arrived. Shelley looks like she means business. She told the mad genie in my head to go. And the mad genie clearly didn’t want to mess with Von Strunckel.

It worked. I'm fixed and sleeping. Anyone want some witch’s brew? "Shallow Not Stupidly Yours" - Anonymous

MY LOVE-For You

It shall be the same,no matter as far I know It's being accepted, and reciprocated! For It can't go far long one handed, single sides' so you need to know you need to work on it, so it be there and it be all that I ever ask and wish from & expect as little as I could. It wont be long enough that i shall love you no more' for I am an experienced human, a emotional being and I know how badly it hurt's when you love and you don't get back! The wises and the smallest of little petite things maketh a difference, for they are backed by several other reasoning and logic, and practicalities of life and how things would work and how shall they be at resent and what future holds. I crave for you, and I have given you a hint. and for whatever the case it may be with you' I am not willing to come down to anything by love - for that is one thing I have always willing to accept and agree and spread and give. Until I one day find myself so hollow that I be all out of love.

"You might be running late on time, or you might be holding on to you past, for all I know whatever the reasons be, you shall be longing for someone else, or you might still be rooted to the strings of past. For how immature of immature you stand' and you do or do not willingly unwillingly understand the peculiarities of a loving heart - all I know I have been aiming quite high and low at times, for now I am the arrow and you are my dart"

Let it stop, and let it come to end, for I shall not rise, & not let my Love bend, unless I see you abide by my love and realize and comfort me in the way so same, for all I have is love ready to take in the risk, and win or fail at last. For all I know as of now. I am game. whatever u call it, whatever you name' get me close to you and tame' it might all sound at times so lame. whatever it be, whatever it shall, you and me are destined I guess, to take in the risk & gel. there for sure was a reason why we met. here I am ,waiting for you all set.

Enough have I already said, for now the ball is in your court to judge and relation thy you pledge, for I am a mere wanderer lost in love, for I shall subside if no longer you shall be mine, for wandering again for someone else, for something more. For don't call me a dog or a frustrated whore. I have always & shall love everything and everyone from the heartiest core. sweet it maybe, or it might be sour, for all I know, as of now I am pretty much sure!

I await for you, with the open door, to my heart, to my family to my relationship core, I am sure I might be boring at times, but am sweeter, and not sore, there might be thousands of reasons that shall keep us apart, for only I know one, that should make us together is my love and craving for you to find you in my life, as a perfect shore. There shall be many options welcoming you around I know, but I will be the one, shall be your forever, selfless, unconditional, loving to the core. Listen to my roar, I speak out loud, and call you my own. - Anonymous

FIGURED OUT Thy-Have you lately?

Not Everyone you could hear I Love You from, or say I Love You has that real significance until what you said, was accepted and emotionally considered and reacted upon with much more excitement and more emotional understanding and care and practicality of logical realities. verbal reactions are interestingly virtual, and imaginative as they might be seen and figured out. But what's true lies beneath the surfaces of folded testimonial self being, well catered and well addressed, with a touch of humor, and a connection that supports you much way longer in reality then virtual, followed by Miss You, and Want to be next to you craving for all this and that and finding all the excuses and ways to be with someone willingly, in admiration of the very fact, tat you could just spend you entire day rejoicing being with someone,who would take you as you are, and shall abide by all the pros and cons of a structural habitual understanding of human sanity and insanity at the same time, no matter how sane, adulterated or selfless/unconditional it be.

Irrespective of caste creed orientation gender bias & all the status quotient. In the process of figuring out the so called relationship that you name and tag it with, no matter how deep understanding of the truer self and thy you shall possess, but eventually it shall only be worth if its served on to thy platter to you & vice verse, with way to much reality & face to face being there, and not distanced love, comfort ,sharing, caring and philosophical interesting backup's with that sense of security,supporting a communication and fetishes of human mind and urges to pacify and conclude, subside let go, keep and put an end to.

There might be at times a wider or a thinner line between fondness and love, and it's all hysterically emotional at times, when you intend to let go look's and you know, you are with a worthy being, that makes you even more worthy of living a life, and not finding yourself alone, with a random number of people that communicate interact and virtually and in real lure you to attributes of personal and attachment syndromes of human psychology.

Thy & Thee, shall be there, for no matter either of them shall live or die, for hard as much as it get's for sometime, you just ain't let go the fact, that you had a worthy relationship,and you shall sit back and rejoice the memoirs of the past & live with them happily ever after - that very few, as little as it was was way beyond a friendship, that changed you & had a significant role and importance in your life. They come and go, & few remember we been part of there lives, few are the ones, that you might recall, shall be at the back of your head, and deep down heart, staying in the corner's or filled with respect, regards & love.

With so much around, and so many asking to be friendly, for whatsoever reasons, denials and acceptance that go handy. with you and them to be in a habit of fooling around or failing in love for real. Presuming , assuming, judging, and still moving on, going on, getting along with the past, present and the coming foreseeing future, and the life goes on, for everyone, here and there, me and you, they and all.

Let thy sit and explain thee, how clear the perspective of life be' for thy brain & heart need to grow, and find peace, away form the immature soul. For you could end up banging your head on the wall or playing flute in front of buffalo, and it shall not solve any' or punch on a boxing bag, to outburst your experienced and well taught and lived assumed amused/ill' hollow/narrow presumed belief's. It ain't worth if you don't gain and muscles, with the push-ups of your state of mind - from where you left it and risen to' if you don't learn form the past, & sit' laid back drowned in the old dig haunted past, and do not accept the newer reasoning?

Positivity in a communication, learning from it, and finding a humor in the little of the things said and done, shall make you find your way to a lovelier you and lovely everyone around, for then you shall know,what love is.

Unconditional it be or thy conditions that come from thy' shall loose the importance, & solve no purpose, and hung it all,putting it to an end- it has to be pure, faithful & good or it has to be nothing at all.

"Some call it an emotional approach of the loner self, for some name it a philosophy of a logical-intellectual mind,some call it a planted/seeded game of a corrupt mind. We all are in a mix, zig & zapped, pulled, flattened, sorted or in a mode of grind. For all I knew forever, So much it' difficult it was to find & figure thy truer/real loving kind" - Anonymous

When Thy Heart Spoke-It did a Great Job

My Dearest You' Glad to know, you are more then good, more then me. Just take care. & keep smiling, for I wish you all the wellness in breathes of thy life remains, and a hug that says I love you no matter what. And I shall be there beside ,you no matter how real or virtual, I shall, I will, stay. As long as you would need me' or you won't, I still would be there in some corner's of the soulful brainy brawny hearty outer & inner being, walled and limited, united and adjusted thyself.

In between all the virtual stigmatic words that were at times a frustrated luring, so desperate, to love in the flesh and get lost in the realms of sexual fetishes and pleasures, for I shall never forget, and make you remember. That my soul was always pure, and honest to I was more curious to figure out who that heart n soul was, in a body that, craved for mere more or less known & unknowing. - I so want to hold thee , hug , kiss with thy closed eyes - blindly tagged with/as a label of any textual alphabetically or numerically' as much as a soul, & human with all thy sanity , experience and wisdom.

As much as I beg for forgiveness for all the while I was not being myself, or too myself I was adorned with, for could not suffice your emotional mental and physical cravings and talk to you or text you back. I hope I shall be forgiven and understood well, and appreciated for getting back you you, though a little delayed, but more the merrier, soon thy it all came.

No more pretentious, presumed assumptions judgments, for let thy be transparent to thee - backed by lured, captivated, chased chaos experiences and logistics of a peculiar adaptations of a life to thy habitual habitat - lost somewhere at times, and rejoicing in excitement, wondering it shall last for a little much time, phrasing tracks and lines, and limits to my admirable myself, and foolish thee. Depreciated, Withered & Worn-Off Me, Sincerely Yours lovingly foolish. learned, de-fragmented experienced, yet use to the so called back stabbing every time,Myself - (Anonymous)

P.S-Don't hurt or play with my love/heart/body and dislike and reject my emotions for you on a misleading mischievous unbelieving note and not so serious all the time. I don't like it if its not taken & is played with, and never is it kindly acclaimed and accepted, for else I shall be sorry for loving thee, as I shall no longer love. Adopt it, if not me & you shall never be all out of it.

SEX vs LOVE

"Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." - Woody Allen

How well - Intimate, sexual pleasures could be-fool you! for it might just  lure your temporarily Infatuations!. Real People are only the real friends with who you share much more then just bed!, half of the time we think, sex is the only reason that binds us!, but its opposite, The more you could be Intimate complying to the terms; emotions, values, comfort, care understanding, the more you could witness the whole sexual reincarnation in its full bloom - all the more are your chances to grow and keep up with the person in a relationship/friendship or just a fling that resolves to the most of the sexual contrasts comforting each other( I don't say it's bad - but there is this certain amount of indulgence that showeth regards & respect that one should abide by being bedded.How often we fail to understand that, someone who was completely surrendering to your disposal for sexual gratification was actually more then willing to be falling for you just for more then one night stands.

It's a mutual consent & admiration to get laid & It's not just 'done away with & forget syndrome' - for something that can make you so naked (that you could shed your clothes & your soul - letting thy pour onto you ones desirous acts of bedding you & in your anguish to completely forget the awful odds of being used for the fractions of time, that you were to mate and thence forget. - For there is & never be no place for any artificial/superficial longing & a selfish we' - if at all It has to be more of love, soul connect & a craving to willingly understand someone so close that you could just be so secure & so emotionally uplifted if at all there was & could be a reunion of desirous deeds that were made to mingled in a way so thoughtful that it could last its impressions for many days if not forever. 

For times these misleading sexual agitations & curiosities clinging on, be-fooling ongoing games & taking for guaranteed, make you loose a bit or all of you & so it does your trust, faith & interest in the whole scandalized scenario; love/relationship & friendship tagged perceptions. 

"This & that of 'to the core of slutty business' - why it always had to end so whorefically?"

If at all, it could be more then that - ones shelved desperation is one thing different, but keeping up with the mind body and soul - connecting to it beautifully is all I always thought mattered the most - maybe I was wrong, or maybe they have stopped making such souls these days & I was a limited edition. If only love could teach me, I could go places, meet new people, make new friends...but then I was hesitant since it always made me have sex in the end, which was not a good thing, there was nothing wrong in it, but then I was just not a prostitute & it was a hard of a task to actually go about making everyone believe that & still in circles go about ranting that I believed more in love & less of sex, but then it was not always that I had everyone believing that.

In audible clear whispers 'I love you" that I heard while we made love & mated - I must have been all ears to every since silence that was a bliss to, dwelling more deeper underneath your skin, as I touched you, the pores that I kissed and the lips that my love for you rinsed as if there was no other day, no other tomorrow, only hoping this could last for eternity & I could feel high & higher, being with you. In between those bed sheets - the warmth of our bodies admitting to several of things, with absolute no denials - confessing about how wonderful we felt & were willing to do it more often - to the nothingness of sorts after you have just finished doing me & wrapping yourself in clothes, turning you back and sleeping, while I kept awake, thinking myself to be a guilt of your despairingly disguised anguish to quench as soon as we were over doing sex.

"I wish if we could wrap our soul's much more in comfort in a way, that we never ever had to cling & hook on to anything/anyone else - & if at all it was a pleasure to bed each other , it could be always 'just you & me'". 

Well as I grew, I learned we all could just not stick onto one & sexual pleasures were like this evil thing - this deliriousness of wanting more & more, seldom from not just one person forever. You just might grow in a relationship & there are chances that you will end up having no sex at all with the person, nevertheless chances are that you would be having a wonderful non-sexual relationship for a lifetime, but you would often feel sad about sex having to die in the end. 

Everyone seems to be on a lookout for a new piece of flesh, a new soul - since by now you had already done your part of talking and heard what you were being told, & not to miss the sexual confrontation that you eventually had your way out doing & get done with & now you were again like this empty one, wanting to explore new horizons of your inner most cravings of ridicule in attempts to slaughter a new one.

It hardly matter's how far and near you get to or away from - you forget the past and the real & want to stick to the present - a point where you realize that everything else didn't matter no matter how better it could have been...You've just got laid, and you had just finished a useless nothingness of sorts, but an important meeting, that just got over & somebody had to go back home & maybe never return again or meet you. You crave for a person you slept with or you want to sleep more often with, in hope that someday - one fine day your fondness shall melt down your admiration's away & in hopes that you might get what you always expected & that you shall be treated in ways more lovingly ...like you always wanted - & that it wont be a single sided affair anymore.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it. - W. C. Fields

"Either it be (Sex=Sex) or (Love=Love)", Ratio that I find solitude in! It cant be an artificial willingness to keep that fake smiley on your face & say all is well,& nothing is wrong. I had you all wrong, you were the wrong that I just had sex with, and I could no more make this wrong righteous no matter how hard I tried. I could just go about blabbering about what a culprit you've been, invading me persistently trying not to let me evade you, believing that you just were not what you seemed like.  

"Nothing one does in bed is immoral if it helps to perpetuate love". - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Why is there no soul connection? Why we just have to get lured by the physical intimacy &  why does it always have to end on a sexual craving nevertheless at the end - Anonymous