The Shadows

Ah! be gracious, tenderly relenting, Take not back thy gifts with churlish hand; Let the breath of thy serene consenting, Falter through the weary land. Anywhere or everywhere around-surround, I find no beauty to rejoice to, thee compels me no more, for my soul is my only companion, that travels with me, it finds content staying peaceful or sobbed and soaked wherever I be. It does not gets tamed or lured to any more beyond my skin. He would have loved to get a tan though, but he is afraid to get out in the sun. He loves the moonlight terraces but scared to death in lonesome fear he denies to exit from his comfort zone. Like a toddler he is afraid of shadows at night too. He might just be too afraid, fearing his own shadow. Most people think that shadows follow, precede, or surround beings or objects. The truth is that they also surround words, ideas, desires, deeds, impulses and memories. -Elie Wiesel Despite he happily peeps from thy window, to the world of alive and dead. but more often hides inside confiding to its habituated par excellence of existence. His very own existence. He is afraid of my shadow, he think it's going to eat him if he steps out. Seen that, done that, it seeks no more, for I carry him wherever I go. You're afraid of your own shadow And I won't let you walk in mine. There's a light somewhere inside you, but you will not let it shine...I told you as your lover I told you as a friend. All I can do is show you now. The only way I can. We've come this far and we'll go no farther. Well every now and then the brain is poisoned and the heart is drenched and soaked in piles of this that bit & shit. With its own smiles & miseries, Life stays quite and is grounded still, soon headed to go more miles pretending to ditch. My shadow is red It´s different from yours, I´m here today, hidden in the dark...The light brings the shadow of which I must run. There's this vicious cycle of moon & the sun. I so wish , he was not afraid & fear no more, and rise & shine in its own love galore - Anonymous

Surrender

The very fact that we are possessed of the quest for the self & once we submit, the evil is either nipped in the bud or crushed in the germ itself or grows more powerful. It is to merge in the source of the ego & kill it(The death of the ego).

To a lover, friend, a stranger, an opponent or enemy, to God or yourself - Surrendering could just be one of the many reasons that you would chose to comply or do away with. Whether its an excuse or possibly a easy narrow escape, a broader perspective or just an experience of self indulgence to an ill fate or a disguised mate.

We surrender our thoughts, our actions, our relationships, our personal fulfillment, our dreams and our failures & successes.

Either surrender because you admit your inability or investigate into the cause of misery, complaint about your defects and deficiencies reluctantly or under compulsion. Verbal-action oriented, conditional-unconditional, reserved-unreserved - Be it a willful wholehearted acceptance or rejection in parts, yielding to a dominating force and its will or deliver up possession of on demand or under duress or about finding some peace - everyone will have a piece of himself/herself being surrendered to.

Its not like, you've been imprisoned. You got to know when to stop, learn when to draw a line & understand limits.No one is asking you or forcing you to surrender or submit to anyone or anything - either partially or completely. No one is asking you to abide by anything that appears or vanishes. It's completely your own choice.

Give up; render up! Go into the source and merge into the self - 'Thou are all’ and ‘Thy will be done’. Eagerness to do it must be equal to that of a man kept under water trying to rise to the surface for his life.

There is absolutely nothing fulfilling or rewarding forever. Neither is it always followed by calmness. It might leave you dwelling, craving for more & more & you would still try to figure out how to pacify your urges, Having said that, it does not imply that an act of‘a surrender’ every time would seldom ought to bring or have great outcomes. Everything whatsoever diminishes into nothingness of sorts. The amalgamation that one witnesses and confronts with is an outcome of ones rightful-wrongful doing. Its how you chose wisely.

The greater good could be achieved & cherished through and through only with a greater insight. It could uplift you on a positive note. Erasing everything whatsoever between those thick and thin philosophical realms of your pre-notioned archives of a life’s utter confusion at stake, letting one - let go momentously & forget and rejoice. The outcome would let you witness a re-union of emotional mental and physical up-front harmony in alliance or could also leave you alienated in pain, guilt & more self-conscious limitations.

If only you knew the art of surrendering, the sober and serene in its wildest of desirous dreams that might just be a length away, could come true & handy.

The knowing gets easier - Chances in approach would take diversions or lead to a satisfying or dissatisfactory agreement of sorts and there you would stand being surrounded, willing to shed the peculiarities of past present and future or being apprehensive & reluctant - going with the flow learning in the process, getting involved and evolved.

Conditional wall collapses and gets submerged deep down, that's how unconditional comes in. There lies no place for a verbal combat, the actions speak louder than words and everything seem to be said and done with, in this passage of time.

There would mostly be times, when it would be single sided but if it was either way, it could do miracles. Not everyone is willing to surrender to you in the same way you are willing to surrender to them. No matter how often or in bits & pieces you surrender to, at the end for a longer run, it shall matter whom you confided into wholeheartedly & whether you equally were able to take in everything else that surrendered to you.

You have to bend down a little, keep away your ego, forget about everything & everyone for once. If the end result is somewhat rewarding you’ve probably chosen the right one, right path & if its not, then you probably weren't lucky enough. Maybe you deserve something or someone better. Maybe you need to grow better yourself.

If you haven’t already ever surrendered, you've not made your life worth living. For once 'submit', try to feel how it feels like to be absorbed.

“I surrender to thee who surrender to me" - Anonymous

We are often deceived by outward genuflections, bowings and prostrations as much as we try to deceive. Nevertheless...I turn from my inhibitions and invite you to come(enter) into my heart, body & life. I want to trust and follow you as my savior. Now whether I get holy & sanctified or turn insane & remain a sinner...I surrender. You are my heaven & hell. Cutting the long chase short, I hope I understood it well.

At the end...I cry out to you, I know that I am a sinner. You've numbered my days - I ask for your forgiveness.-Anonymous

P.S "When there's a will there's a way"...I am a believer, but why on the earth would I be willing to completely give up my own will. Remember God loves a cheerful giver.

Friends with Benefits II

Embarking on to a journey that just started, struggling to find the more we dwelled. if at all, it might last or be an end to soon. It took us with a surprise without a benefit of doubt, certain we were going to have a good time together. Paralyzing our hormones into a stand still of if and buts of abruptly sufficing to things in limits.

Everyone has there own sets of expectations, conditions, urges & a task-full attempt to get lured, not necessarily pretty.

We are choosers, our own masters - reluctantly or wishfully adapting to the agreeable or denied and hence we for our own good or worse let it hung in between, based on our past experiences and future outcomes perceptibly peculiar & uncertain, possibly unseen to this situation we got our selves shelved or involved into. These self inflicting conscious mind set shades of grey, risen from a convincingly comfortable agreement that we came in reunion with.

We gave each other hints, but most of it was still piled under our skin. I tried making these moves with minimum effort to convince you and make you feel easy, adapting to the limitless boundaries, yet not forcing anything upon you, or make it look or sound like I was being too pushy. 

My emotional strings in aspiring tendency to not let go off the thoughts that were running deep down, wanting to unleash the person I was inside, wanting to pour out my interpreted dialogues in conversation of whispers to you when I was beside you(a complete stranger). You too felt the same deep inside but were hesitant not to break the self raised & erected boundaries and seemed committed to keep the promise you made to yourself. But it seemed like, was on the very edge(verge) of getting affected or being broken very likely-unlikely slowly or gradually in bits & pieces.

The demarcated wall between us, still confessing to have been eager to make it invisible and rejoice, carrying ourselves to this caught up act, being pushed forward by our hidden secretive desire to mingle in a strange way. Struggling to pour from both ends and spilled, getting us drenched to this pleasure-some harmony of flesh and soul, we stopped unsure of how the other person felt, couldn't mess it up and had to play it safe.

We have often, now & then find reasons to console, ourselves with & relate when it comes to letting go of our unacceptable self centered wit. We play blindfolded to this existence of greed deep inside us, knowingly not to have possibly had agreed upon to.

Friends with benefits or without? I often wondered, if at all it wasn't going to be beneficial why were we being friends for? We tend to mingle, because we are single, and in our desirous approach to get benefitted befriended. I guess everything had its pros & cons, and flaws & merits.  

The world - "every other person was a stranger, yet everyone desired in the same fashion, existed with the same relevance of benefitting and not letting it go."

Are we meeting or mating again? Was there remotest of possibility, we could be friends? - Anonymous

Friends with Benefits I

Holding hands that warmed up our hormones to a world-full of ecstasy. That kiss on your neck, the other on your waist, cupping your breasts with my hands while you turned your back to me, while we laid on the bed. Trying to reach out to your earlobes to bite them and suck upon them, while making an attempt to turn you over to smooch, and your hands sliding down my pants to pamper my assets. I stopped you & turned you over, massaging your back and shoulders, keeping you totally un-stripped(partly naked) yet my hands under your clothes above & around you. 

This music played & it had by now turned into a delightful ride. There was us (you & me), on bed, playing this game of indulgence, in layers partly dwelled & the ones kept hidden - a little reluctant on our side.   

Why would we possibly restrict ourselves to the things that we did. You seemed apprehensive about letting me entangle your lips with mine. We could have taken a slow & steady flight into a beautiful alliance of love making. The breathless heartbeat skipped its beats, while we passionately touched and our bodies ran over and rubbed each-others skin. I could smell the youthful fragrance of your flesh while my lips felt every possible corner of you.

I cared. I wanted us both to feel comfortable with each other and confide wholeheartedly. As much I was willing to give you all of myself, I wanted you to give me all of you willingly.

So close, yet miles apart. Why was the only thing between our legs, to be summed up and concluded as a task-full endurance to this end result oriented episode, why couldn't we blissfully into a soulful serene order with no limits could act sanely and madly in love. Of no wrongful that the heart and body desired, losing ourselves in a comfort of forgetting the world and reaching deep, losing ourselves to a limitless boundaries of passionate romance. Letting the mind, for once be a holy cave, that could showeth love and light.

"I could even lay down there like a dead meat, till you were finished with your attempts of sexual gratification of all sorts and so could you while I was finished with mine".

I ain’t no alien to, how this world works!, but still I hope and hope to perceive, there might be a soul, that could very much prove me right in believing, that there existed a connection between the two & had something to do beyond the craving of a flesh, and it certainly not had to be just a blowjob or a fuck to suffice, we didn't had to be totally or partly brutal every time or had to act superficially wise. I ain’t no saint or evil either, trying to cast spells over you, with desperate attempts to bring(lure) you to my bed, but I only wanted to make you understand, what possibly this whole infatuated love or fondness was, and how truly it was meant to work righteously to its perfection.

There's this picnic, have fun!, enjoy right now, it does not matter how you get involved or even take this in the near future, and make it work for both of us. Rejoice to this very moment - that's all it matters as of now.

We had a good time. The hug that we had, when you left, left me in questions. A kiss due, still. - Anonymous

SICK DIGGING - Pang Of Pity

“Not forever does the bulbul sing in balmy shades of bowers, Not forever lasts the spring, nor ever blossom the flowers. Not forever reigneth joy, sets the sun on days of bliss, friendships not forever last, they know not life, who know not this.” - Khushwant Singh, "Train to Pakistan"

"The moon seems tonight an intelligent creature. Look at sky how it listens. Stars stars everywhere, just doing being wonderful passionate watching."

A telltale smile of an absolutely monstrous thrill of remorseless guilt and impunity must cling to these goebbelian rats. Proud of their eugenicism and strictures , sending counter culture to feint, a deceit. Epitomizing the colossal failure of the prying peeing. One of the most obvious and atrocious reasons, there fighting, for' is "their sick digging for - "a satisfying pang of pity".

Of all the things I ever lost, persona of self-representation by that horrid, nightmare of weasel's double cross is by far the most terribly adorned & envelope. If only I could lighten up the dizziness of this tragic, terrified purge. How I loath to thee raging rape of the nimbly pretentious kiss faced.

Every single person who had ever crossed paths with them, onetime overly precious worm-tongue, would have been treated like a deadly bacillus, every single one, night or day.

I felt mortified, and wanted these bastards to suffer death pangs.I wish I could then & there give them a death blow with my leng. I so wished that this poisonous massacre was over soon & done away with.

"I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all". 

Phenomena compel to exhibit tendencies to be commensurated with innate capacity, with a considerable element of unpredictably. This is a parody, but not a very gross one. Dissolving into the vague phrases - this had to be so, tabulating ones thoughts away from concreteness. The syllables of imaginary vague & vivid images revolving around with outcrops occurring here and there gummed together like long strips of words into a sheer humbug of prose & parody - Anonymous

Blossom Over You II

Nowhere, from - it started, all out of the blue, and now I am stuck on thee, drooling, thinking too much on the fate of thy glue. How am I suppose to be normal,for there's already a lot of energy burned, trying not to ignite, the lure for you. You are just a random one, I console myself with. It won't go long, I foresee fate. Troubled mate.

So overwhelming it is, falling in trap of finding soneone that you would like to date, probbaly mate. Let us leave it on destiny, love or hate. Promise me you would not keep me hung in between there. Even the hair on my arms are in a fancyful fright with goose bumps of excitement and shivers so high. I can feel them right now, you see, when I tell you this. I am only wanting to have a close acquaintence or more, if you wish.

Hold you under the drizzled sky, I may, wet drenched unsorted unkempt we both... sure about that, yes, I say. Anguished thirst, hungry quench, sipping a coffee from the same cup, even a candy stick we together lick. Sitting on thy bench. I warn you, don't laugh, don't eww that or call it sick. Let it pour in more as much it could be, you and me, outpour thy everything and thee let it flee free.

Intuitive, ready by all means, with reluctant confessions, and straightforward approaches. That might or not, work between us, yes I am aware. Creep in oh cupid lemme fall in for thee, unless... thy shall not know how lovely it be.

Excited me, curious I am, to find a stranger, in the world full of sham. In a hopeless hope to confide to you my friend, a new one yes I say, glad have found you oh never go, please stay.

Familiar it all feels and sounds so same. You only change the name,the tag remains the same. More then once, I had fallen in for souls, they thought I was there prey. Few promised true love, my beloved they said!

My cravings for you shall unleash in no time. I wont ask if I could hug you or put my lips on you, smell you, touch you, feel you. Staring at you with emotions so rare. With you beside me, anything I could dare. I promise you one thing, I won't even be there, if you dont want it to be I will go from here. Can I snuggle, could I creep, to your familiar heartbeat to my ear. fondle you with love oh my dear. Hold me, its been a while, since I felt a soul so close and near. Mesmerize me, make me yours as much as I make you mine.

You be my garden, let me blossom over you. Lets put an end to all thee whine, May this compassion oh Lord on us shine. - Anonymous

Blossom Over You I

Destined to meet, are we, am I to someone new,or maybe an old soul that has been reluctant to forgive the uneasy fate that prolonged and build the walls around. Once a lover now not even a acquaintance.

Though I fear' to fall for a new one, in all hopes of satisfying to the fullest thy unknown, I for a moment, this, rejoice for there might not be a longer one, destined - between you and me, still, I go on. go on! From knowing to the known...

Once again in circles a story prepared. A bait all set to be slaughtered, this time for real.

Readily available to be baited caressed and loved. raped, mated but not hated. You only live once,atleast let me have some beautiful memories worthy to call my own, of my own - With you in the picture frame, not lone.

The playful memoirs haunt me now and then. How it was then? In awe to the blessed moments that stayed for a while. So close yet strangely far, some tides low and high. Oh I breathe in. and out with a sigh.

"I so wish! No harm in trying. Maybe it works"!

In between knowing thee and unknowing thy, with questions those have no answers of how and why. trying to mend gaps and again build walls, thy calls no more to me a friend. thee who once had been love-struck to thy cemented piles of bricks that used to have a narrow escape through which the light passed. Peeping from it thy snuggled into my heart. Now it stands deserted erected dusky dull dry in vein... for there grows no life, there passes no soul around. All there says emptiness with pain so bound.

Trying to start everything from a scratch, haunts you with past. memoirs dipped in nostalgia, thee faded away days back, flash again and mourn. This moment you hope could cherish and build houses of fondness and longing, unconditionally with no mindset of agendas prepared, acts dared, skin bated, choices paired, struggling with a communication, just to make sure you were not once again unheard wrongly and smeared with attempts of insanity and quarrelsome end geared.

"Let me fall for you & Let you fall for me".

Strangers will be strangers, unless you fall for them and make sure you are fallen for. Not hard it is to ridicule yourself on pity of a devastated life. Of sorrowful bad tastes and believing in what you thought you did best. On you oh my Lord I have always left the rest.

I might be a misfit and shall have a company alike, but never-mind I shall not be a loner, laugh sing play dance with a partner in crime. - Anonymous

Drizzle Over Me II

"Where do all the lonely hearts go - Lost in a dream?"

I want to write you a poem every day until my hand breaks and assure you that you’ll find your place - Lucas Regazzi

I lie back, humming no lie, soundly grounded, gently poised...waking up to thee folklore, a fairy-tale shelved to thy, secretly admired in a way - why? .Oh dream - one of the best thing you happened to be. Oh dream. My dream...so madly deeply blindly in love with you ' me. If at all I leave you and go, never hymn to, finding ear no more, to sing to. Promise me, you won't never cry. You, oh beloved, for eternity mine. hidden to thee, cherished... I flee to the heaven of ecstasy, to the mountains of sea.
Better off this way' Oh dream. The best thing happened to thy Oh dream, only mine, in love with you madly blindly deeply thy. Till eternity remain mine. Hidden to thee, cherished & flee to the heaven of ecstasy, to the mountains of sea.

A ray of hope, shining thee light, twinkled, confiscated by clouded moonlit sky making way to a hallucinated fright. Path shown taken charge a picture large. With folded hands to thee I bow. I saw the moon. the sun thy glow. I promise to you, when the time is right, thy shall go. For now thee stops, run no more , going with the flow...ahh this Invincible invisible glow.

"Sorry, you and me, are no match for each-other, maybe or maybe not, but 'I have my own complex flaws to reconsider', & you certainly have set of your own ".

Leach the preached practiced and breached. Rescue away from sinful dream. World is full of lunatics mean, they often stab you and make you scream. They have taken away all you had, You lure them no more, bothered no more, invisible - you 'never existed, come back to the shore.

I shall keep the crave-carvers saved for tomorrow, I don't want to sulk down to this risk of lonesome sorrow. Plentiful things - as many as there be to borrow.- Anonymous

Drizzle Over Me I

I’ll cut holes in the ozone if it means you have one less day of rain. it’s just that the world has a funny way of hiding spots fertile enough for bodies like yours to grow roots. - Lucas Regazzi

In hope, sunshine settles to a dawn-full shady clouded sky, all I wish is for a drizzle in this not so very clear sky.

I see faces around... they intrigue they haunt, they gaze, they mock,rest taunt. Few creep in to thy infatuated heart silently unnoticed. Few forgotten, lost and found.

Consoling to thy, a misty myst a moist myth, that shall settle, once it goes wrongful right, or rightful wrong, license to presume the assuming judgmental rebels of pros and cons, now and then, yes or no, right or wrong lingers. The heart no more quarrels to thee mind that thought for seconds nestled wrestled startled settled in a lustful yet soulful forgiveness it had found among all odds of a dreadful sinful present past that breathes with a sigh of future not so long.

Still high on to thee, thy has found no rest, no peace. Not quenched yet, knowingly wanting to assure thee thy has fled away and shaken,stirred thy approaches and attempts to ruin and spoil the pleasant yet dreadful memoirs of a spoon-fed dream that fly's and surrounds. Like a bubble in rainbow infused colors. fallen down, busted into thy air, shall soon be forgotten surrendered. Thy footprints erased quicker then thought, pretty judgmental from the very time, they were born.

Oh sleep my child, dream about thee - make love to thy ecstasy of anguished heart, feel skin aiming to thy lustful dart. or off you might fall from the cupids cart.

Washed away by the rain thee goes to nothingness of nothing no more. With troublesome emotions. tears of pity, finds himself drenched and robbed to the witty. Silence now,for it aint chirpy no more. Restless has found no peace,cautiously struggles to snuggle to the core. Melted away & broken into pieces... many, heart once called thy a lover, now tags thee 'a whore'.

Together you and me - let's cherish this!...See you. See me.

Drizzle over my anguished wounds, memories of past and whispered sounds. as a nectar, drench my deserted skin, my hollow soul.

Quench my thirsty heart, if not today...tomorrow - Anonymous