Tuesday, December 31, 2013

WE ESCAPED - From Beijing


Mr. Lash and I escaped from Beijing without getting lung cancer. I miss my servants, obvsies, but not the smog, crackdown against foreigners, and new restrictions on buying drugs over the counter. I couldn’t get my usual stash of Zopis to bring home in the diplomatic bag, so now I’m on the jetlag express and sleepless in London.

Staying up late watching old movies isn’t sending me to slumber. The dead glam heroines from the upper and downer years of Hollywood keep me awake analyzing them. Clever casting uses an actor’s biography. Men go to bed with Gilda and wake up with self-destructive Rita Hayworth. That's good casting. Bad casting has Gwyneth Paltrow as Sylvia Plath when nobody believes Gwynnie would gas herself over a man. She’d be more likely to bake a cupcake.

You’re supposed to drink camomile tea for insomnia, but the last time I drank camomile it made me dress like a plant. I even considered eating a tofu burger. I don’t want to be lobotomized, just catch up on my beauty sleep. There’s only so much Touch Eclat can do for dark circles.

I had no choice but to visit a witch (like the other Vivien Lash in my evil twin's new book, Spying on Strange Men). She had a bad-tempered cat and nostrils big enough to move in a family of five. She was formerly a groupie to Nick Cave, though I’m not sure if he knows that. She studied witch therapy with the person who taught the person who taught someone I’ve never heard of—not Harry Potter.

The witch was all for blaming Mr. Lash for my sleep problems. And to be fair, it was he who took me to China. But no, he doesn’t accidentally punch me when he’s asleep. That might knock me out at least. "This guy here," she said, banging the table until I checked to see if Mr. Lash was hiding under it, "has work to do on himself." Certainly he has work to do. Not on himself, on account of him being practically perfect. But I kept my mouth shut. Never disagree with a woman who keeps a broomstick handy.

A banishment ritual was in order so I lay on the floor and was covered in stones. The witch rang bells while the cat strolled in to scratch me. "Your cat needs a manicure," I suggested. When my session with the anti-Satan was finally up, she gave me a potion. It didn’t work, probably because I was told to dance naked on the full moon with my cat. I’m shallow not stupid. I know that tickets to the moon haven’t been sold yet.

Next stop, hypnotist-to-the-stars Serena not van der Woodson. It’s not clear if the stars are Venus and Mercury, or Kate Moss and Johnny Depp. Serena told me to imagine I’m on a fluffy pink cloud with loved ones waving at me. I was dying to laugh. Instead I faked a big snoozy trance.

Shelley Von Strunckel, the famous astrologer who teaches meditation in her home, was my next stop. A man in a mask had already made himself comfortable on the sofa when I arrived. Shelley looks like she means business. She told the mad genie in my head to go. And the mad genie clearly didn’t want to mess with Von Strunckel.

It worked. I'm fixed and sleeping. Anyone want some witch’s brew? "Shallow Not Stupidly Yours" - Anonymous

Thursday, December 12, 2013

MY LOVE-For You

It shall be the same,no matter as far I know It's being accepted, and reciprocated! For It can't go far long one handed, single sides' so you need to know you need to work on it, so it be there and it be all that I ever ask and wish from & expect as little as I could. It wont be long enough that i shall love you no more' for I am an experienced human, a emotional being and I know how badly it hurt's when you love and you don't get back! The wises and the smallest of little petite things maketh a difference, for they are backed by several other reasoning and logic, and practicalities of life and how things would work and how shall they be at resent and what future holds. I crave for you, and I have given you a hint. and for whatever the case it may be with you' I am not willing to come down to anything by love - for that is one thing I have always willing to accept and agree and spread and give. Until I one day find myself so hollow that I be all out of love.

"You might be running late on time, or you might be holding on to you past, for all I know whatever the reasons be, you shall be longing for someone else, or you might still be rooted to the strings of past. For how immature of immature you stand' and you do or do not willingly unwillingly understand the peculiarities of a loving heart - all I know I have been aiming quite high and low at times, for now I am the arrow and you are my dart"

Let it stop, and let it come to end, for I shall not rise, & not let my Love bend, unless I see you abide by my love and realize and comfort me in the way so same, for all I have is love ready to take in the risk, and win or fail at last. For all I know as of now. I am game. whatever u call it, whatever you name' get me close to you and tame' it might all sound at times so lame. whatever it be, whatever it shall, you and me are destined I guess, to take in the risk & gel. there for sure was a reason why we met. here I am ,waiting for you all set.

Enough have I already said, for now the ball is in your court to judge and relation thy you pledge, for I am a mere wanderer lost in love, for I shall subside if no longer you shall be mine, for wandering again for someone else, for something more. For don't call me a dog or a frustrated whore. I have always & shall love everything and everyone from the heartiest core. sweet it maybe, or it might be sour, for all I know, as of now I am pretty much sure!

I await for you, with the open door, to my heart, to my family to my relationship core, I am sure I might be boring at times, but am sweeter, and not sore, there might be thousands of reasons that shall keep us apart, for only I know one, that should make us together is my love and craving for you to find you in my life, as a perfect shore. There shall be many options welcoming you around I know, but I will be the one, shall be your forever, selfless, unconditional, loving to the core. Listen to my roar, I speak out loud, and call you my own. - Anonymous

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

FIGURED OUT Thy-Have you lately?

Not Everyone you could hear I Love You from, or say I Love You has that real significance until what you said, was accepted and emotionally considered and reacted upon with much more excitement and more emotional understanding and care and practicality of logical realities. verbal reactions are interestingly virtual, and imaginative as they might be seen and figured out. But what's true lies beneath the surfaces of folded testimonial self being, well catered and well addressed, with a touch of humor, and a connection that supports you much way longer in reality then virtual, followed by Miss You, and Want to be next to you craving for all this and that and finding all the excuses and ways to be with someone willingly, in admiration of the very fact, tat you could just spend you entire day rejoicing being with someone,who would take you as you are, and shall abide by all the pros and cons of a structural habitual understanding of human sanity and insanity at the same time, no matter how sane, adulterated or selfless/unconditional it be.

Irrespective of caste creed orientation gender bias & all the status quotient. In the process of figuring out the so called relationship that you name and tag it with, no matter how deep understanding of the truer self and thy you shall possess, but eventually it shall only be worth if its served on to thy platter to you & vice verse, with way to much reality & face to face being there, and not distanced love, comfort ,sharing, caring and philosophical interesting backup's with that sense of security,supporting a communication and fetishes of human mind and urges to pacify and conclude, subside let go, keep and put an end to.

There might be at times a wider or a thinner line between fondness and love, and it's all hysterically emotional at times, when you intend to let go look's and you know, you are with a worthy being, that makes you even more worthy of living a life, and not finding yourself alone, with a random number of people that communicate interact and virtually and in real lure you to attributes of personal and attachment syndromes of human psychology.

Thy & Thee, shall be there, for no matter either of them shall live or die, for hard as much as it get's for sometime, you just ain't let go the fact, that you had a worthy relationship,and you shall sit back and rejoice the memoirs of the past & live with them happily ever after - that very few, as little as it was was way beyond a friendship, that changed you & had a significant role and importance in your life. They come and go, & few remember we been part of there lives, few are the ones, that you might recall, shall be at the back of your head, and deep down heart, staying in the corner's or filled with respect, regards & love.

With so much around, and so many asking to be friendly, for whatsoever reasons, denials and acceptance that go handy. with you and them to be in a habit of fooling around or failing in love for real. Presuming , assuming, judging, and still moving on, going on, getting along with the past, present and the coming foreseeing future, and the life goes on, for everyone, here and there, me and you, they and all.

Let thy sit and explain thee, how clear the perspective of life be' for thy brain & heart need to grow, and find peace, away form the immature soul. For you could end up banging your head on the wall or playing flute in front of buffalo, and it shall not solve any' or punch on a boxing bag, to outburst your experienced and well taught and lived assumed amused/ill' hollow/narrow presumed belief's. It ain't worth if you don't gain and muscles, with the push-ups of your state of mind - from where you left it and risen to' if you don't learn form the past, & sit' laid back drowned in the old dig haunted past, and do not accept the newer reasoning?

Positivity in a communication, learning from it, and finding a humor in the little of the things said and done, shall make you find your way to a lovelier you and lovely everyone around, for then you shall know,what love is.

Unconditional it be or thy conditions that come from thy' shall loose the importance, & solve no purpose, and hung it all,putting it to an end- it has to be pure, faithful & good or it has to be nothing at all.

"Some call it an emotional approach of the loner self, for some name it a philosophy of a logical-intellectual mind,some call it a planted/seeded game of a corrupt mind. We all are in a mix, zig & zapped, pulled, flattened, sorted or in a mode of grind. For all I knew forever, So much it' difficult it was to find & figure thy truer/real loving kind" - Anonymous

Monday, December 9, 2013

When Thy Heart Spoke-It did a Great Job

My Dearest You' Glad to know, you are more then good, more then me. Just take care. & keep smiling, for I wish you all the wellness in breathes of thy life remains, and a hug that says I love you no matter what. And I shall be there beside ,you no matter how real or virtual, I shall, I will, stay. As long as you would need me' or you won't, I still would be there in some corner's of the soulful brainy brawny hearty outer & inner being, walled and limited, united and adjusted thyself.

In between all the virtual stigmatic words that were at times a frustrated luring, so desperate, to love in the flesh and get lost in the realms of sexual fetishes and pleasures, for I shall never forget, and make you remember. That my soul was always pure, and honest to I was more curious to figure out who that heart n soul was, in a body that, craved for mere more or less known & unknowing. - I so want to hold thee , hug , kiss with thy closed eyes - blindly tagged with/as a label of any textual alphabetically or numerically' as much as a soul, & human with all thy sanity , experience and wisdom.

As much as I beg for forgiveness for all the while I was not being myself, or too myself I was adorned with, for could not suffice your emotional mental and physical cravings and talk to you or text you back. I hope I shall be forgiven and understood well, and appreciated for getting back you you, though a little delayed, but more the merrier, soon thy it all came.

No more pretentious, presumed assumptions judgments, for let thy be transparent to thee - backed by lured, captivated, chased chaos experiences and logistics of a peculiar adaptations of a life to thy habitual habitat - lost somewhere at times, and rejoicing in excitement, wondering it shall last for a little much time, phrasing tracks and lines, and limits to my admirable myself, and foolish thee. Depreciated, Withered & Worn-Off Me, Sincerely Yours lovingly foolish. learned, de-fragmented experienced, yet use to the so called back stabbing every time,Myself - (Anonymous)

P.S-Don't hurt or play with my love/heart/body and dislike and reject my emotions for you on a misleading mischievous unbelieving note and not so serious all the time. I don't like it if its not taken & is played with, and never is it kindly acclaimed and accepted, for else I shall be sorry for loving thee, as I shall no longer love. Adopt it, if not me & you shall never be all out of it.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

SEX vs LOVE

"Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." - Woody Allen

How well - Intimate, sexual pleasures could be-fool you! for it might just  lure your temporarily Infatuations!. Real People are only the real friends with who you share much more then just bed!, half of the time we think, sex is the only reason that binds us!, but its opposite, The more you could be Intimate complying to the terms; emotions, values, comfort, care understanding, the more you could witness the whole sexual reincarnation in its full bloom - all the more are your chances to grow and keep up with the person in a relationship/friendship or just a fling that resolves to the most of the sexual contrasts comforting each other( I don't say it's bad - but there is this certain amount of indulgence that showeth regards & respect that one should abide by being bedded.How often we fail to understand that, someone who was completely surrendering to your disposal for sexual gratification was actually more then willing to be falling for you just for more then one night stands.


It's a mutual consent & admiration to get laid & It's not just 'done away with & forget syndrome' - for something that can make you so naked (that you could shed your clothes & your soul - letting thy pour onto you ones desirous acts of bedding you & in your anguish to completely forget the awful odds of being used for the fractions of time, that you were to mate and thence forget. - For there is & never be no place for any artificial/superficial longing & a selfish we' - if at all It has to be more of love, soul connect & a craving to willingly understand someone so close that you could just be so secure & so emotionally uplifted if at all there was & could be a reunion of desirous deeds that were made to mingled in a way so thoughtful that it could last its impressions for many days if not forever. 

For times these misleading sexual agitations & curiosities clinging on, be-fooling ongoing games & taking for guaranteed, make you loose a bit or all of you & so it does your trust, faith & interest in the whole scandalized scenario; love/relationship & friendship tagged perceptions. 

"This & that of 'to the core of slutty business' - why it always had to end so whorefically?"

If at all, it could be more then that - ones shelved desperation is one thing different, but keeping up with the mind body and soul - connecting to it beautifully is all I always thought mattered the most - maybe I was wrong, or maybe they have stopped making such souls these days & I was a limited edition. If only love could teach me, I could go places, meet new people, make new friends...but then I was hesitant since it always made me have sex in the end, which was not a good thing, there was nothing wrong in it, but then I was just not a prostitute & it was a hard of a task to actually go about making everyone believe that & still in circles go about ranting that I believed more in love & less of sex, but then it was not always that I had everyone believing that.

In audible clear whispers 'I love you" that I heard while we made love & mated - I must have been all ears to every since silence that was a bliss to, dwelling more deeper underneath your skin, as I touched you, the pores that I kissed and the lips that my love for you rinsed as if there was no other day, no other tomorrow, only hoping this could last for eternity & I could feel high & higher, being with you. In between those bed sheets - the warmth of our bodies admitting to several of things, with absolute no denials - confessing about how wonderful we felt & were willing to do it more often - to the nothingness of sorts after you have just finished doing me & wrapping yourself in clothes, turning you back and sleeping, while I kept awake, thinking myself to be a guilt of your despairingly disguised anguish to quench as soon as we were over doing sex.

"I wish if we could wrap our soul's much more in comfort in a way, that we never ever had to cling & hook on to anything/anyone else - & if at all it was a pleasure to bed each other , it could be always 'just you & me'". 

Well as I grew, I learned we all could just not stick onto one & sexual pleasures were like this evil thing - this deliriousness of wanting more & more, seldom from not just one person forever. You just might grow in a relationship & there are chances that you will end up having no sex at all with the person, nevertheless chances are that you would be having a wonderful non-sexual relationship for a lifetime, but you would often feel sad about sex having to die in the end. 

Everyone seems to be on a lookout for a new piece of flesh, a new soul - since by now you had already done your part of talking and heard what you were being told, & not to miss the sexual confrontation that you eventually had your way out doing & get done with & now you were again like this empty one, wanting to explore new horizons of your inner most cravings of ridicule in attempts to slaughter a new one.

It hardly matter's how far and near you get to or away from - you forget the past and the real & want to stick to the present - a point where you realize that everything else didn't matter no matter how better it could have been...You've just got laid, and you had just finished a useless nothingness of sorts, but an important meeting, that just got over & somebody had to go back home & maybe never return again or meet you. You crave for a person you slept with or you want to sleep more often with, in hope that someday - one fine day your fondness shall melt down your admiration's away & in hopes that you might get what you always expected & that you shall be treated in ways more lovingly ...like you always wanted - & that it wont be a single sided affair anymore.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it. - W. C. Fields

"Either it be (Sex=Sex) or (Love=Love)", Ratio that I find solitude in! It cant be an artificial willingness to keep that fake smiley on your face & say all is well,& nothing is wrong. I had you all wrong, you were the wrong that I just had sex with, and I could no more make this wrong righteous no matter how hard I tried. I could just go about blabbering about what a culprit you've been, invading me persistently trying not to let me evade you, believing that you just were not what you seemed like.  

"Nothing one does in bed is immoral if it helps to perpetuate love". - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Why is there no soul connection? Why we just have to get lured by the physical intimacy &  why does it always have to end on a sexual craving nevertheless at the end - Anonymous

Shut'Up-You,You


While the melancholy sound of a howling dog is an omen of death or extreme misfortune, boredom, illness, injury, lack of exercise or simply as an expression of joy are all reasons for vocalizations in parrots.  

The idea that dogs are in tune with the supernatural has been around a long time, and is believed by many cultures. One of the most common superstitions is that a howling dog foreshadows something ominous. It’s no wonder the plaintive sounds of a dog’s howl has inspired legend and folklore in a variety of cultures. All the growling, howling, barking, whimpering or whining - trying to communicate or getting excited in anxiety, frustration, pain, attention seeking or resource solicitation or begging or cry as part of their age-related cognitive decline - lasting for few seconds or a while, might sound spooky, giving the creeps - sending chills up your spine.  

I’ll be the only one, at top of my voice - doing all the yelling & shouting at the dogs & the birds from my window in my attempt to shoo them away or scolding them - trying to make them understand that they needed to shut-up. It could possibly be one of those oddest of times of weird hours when you didn't wanted to listen to absolutely nothing - you either were awake trying to work on something, that needed your utmost concentration and attention or you wanted to sleep & you completely needed a pin-drop silence. 

Birds can sing at any time of day, but during the dawn chorus their songs are often louder, livelier, and more frequent. It's mostly made up of male birds, attempting to attract mates and warn other males away from their territories (who sing to announce that they are alive, alert and ready to defend their territory & apparently their manly bird song is super attractive to potential mates). They makes noises and behaviors to communicate with each other. They chirp to communicate. They would tweet making short, high sounds, shriek/cry, a very loud, piercing sound, chattering chek-chek-chek, trilled bzeee, a sighing whistle or a quiet quirt, caw by a crow & gurgles and trills to whistles and squawks by parrot and many are the bird version of tone-deaf. As well as the true nocturnal species, reed and sedge warblers among others, sing extensively during the night, hosting a surprising variety of night birds - from nightingales and mockingbirds to corncrakes, potoos and whip-poor-wills - whose voices can be as haunting as any hoot from an owl. The wiring in parrot's brain gives them ability to mimic, imitate sounds & human speech & talk or even understand things & dance to music.

It would take an expert to figure out what these “Noisy-Sounds" (meowcology, barkonomics, moosicology, chirponomy, histrionics) meant, Zoomusicology & the Bioacoustics would have tough time decoding them.

I'll tell you what happen the other day, I noticed some sounds outside and I completely ignored them, until it went for more then an hour after some gaps & continued again. I literally went out to check, what was actually happening. It seemed as if the dogs were out to some mischief. There were these two dogs that stood on the car parked outside, who would stand on two of there legs & sit at intervals, and wag their tail (I could literally see the action) staring at something. To my surprise after a while that I had figured it out by now, was this cat who had climbed up the tree & sat there on one of the branches, staring back to the dogs. The dogs would climb up on the car again & then climb down and the other two would run across & around the tree trying to catch hold of the cat, climbing up to everything they could to reach out. I bet the dogs didn't knew how to climb up the tree & that was only the art cat was well versed with. The poor cat could not come down, as she might have been afraid to death & the poor dogs went on doing, what they were doing for another two hours or so and this went from 03:00 - 06:00 a.m, until there were more passers by & the car was about to get its morning wash. I bet if anyone else noticed, what I just did. No one would have actually realized why the dogs were mischievous? The cat might have already fled away...much relieved - rescuing herself from their clutches. I smiled & giggled to this nocturnal adventure - one of it kinds. Next morning I went talking to the dog's asking them what was there problem? & they just wagged their tail, as if they understood everything & they answered me in their own noisy way and I smiled. Birds have been chirping too, I had fed them last noon, and there was much of it left over, for them to hog over today as well.

All nocturnal creatures have odd times of doing odd things. One nocturnal being would be attentive enough to the other nocturnal one & you would be dragging yourself in a noisy fit. You at the most will not be alone, specially when you are on a nocturnal flight, you will always have a company or two of uninvited guests around, no matter how far or near, which wont be intentional, self imposed or on purpose - as it seemed to be like. I seldom wish, if I could understand there language and possibly end up having a conversation with them. I love them, but its irritating at times, when you just don't want to even listen to your own fucking self & ironically end up talking to them or your ownself. It would have been any other time of the day, it wouldn't hardly matter.

Amidst this twittering, howling & growling you would wonder - why did the two souls did what they did? I guess by now they have adapted themselves to my behavioral patterns & I am still trying to adjust myself to theirs. By now it seems as if they understood 'what I meant', when I yelled, & surprisingly 'I would hear no more noises' & would be glad that I made sense & they certainly would be glad about not hearing anymore of me. Maybe they wanted a companion to have a conversation, maybe they were complaining about a thing or two or communicating with the nocturnal ghosts.

Dogs do use their tails to communicate, though a wagging tail doesn't always mean, "Come pet me!". A tail held straight out means the dog dog is curious about something. If birds are left alone too often or for too long, they can start to scream because they have nothing else to do, and because it usually gets a human in the room to pay attention to them.

It surely was "raining birds, cats & dogs" - Anonymous

Off to Sky & On the Ground

"Let's fly, be high, let's fly, be high.Let's fly, our hearts flowing, together.Be high, it's rush will always last forever.Let's fly, be high.I will feel you in ecstasy.Let's fly, be high, let's fly. Unstoppable,Got me open, I'm falling dub,Raise thy toast, Oh yeah come on and let it fly.Let's go, let's let it fly.Get ready, let it fly"


Last Night' A friend in a conversation said, "come on let's fly" & I said hold on to me, hold my hand, and hug me tight, not let me slip or fall away' & yes blindly trusting you for no rhyme or reason, a blank mind but heart filled with fondness & love, and I see nothing at all' for let's do it!

"Comforting to thy the winged friend in arms, holding on too tight, with a promising flight & a safe landing with profound contentment  when you shall land on the ground, with a smile, knowing that you just had a awesome flight, and it made you happy. The cherished awakening seem to have blindfolded me & I could feel the chilly winds passing by skin, but your warmth was my strength & I felt so secured, as we took the flight".

Sometimes it's just without a thought, you have answers ready & you agree to almost anything & everything without any conditions whatsoever blindfold. It takes just a little bit of trust to make things go unconditional in your conviction to abide by, when you have learned to realize that you are capable enough to understand the momentum of joy & the happiness you get out of it. There are no doubts or questions about how practical reasoning in approach was managed or mismanaged & a decision was taken in a blink of an eye, without no logic to thee because your heart said 'lets go for it' and it further needed no further thought process about favorable & not so favorable thinking on to thee.

For as much virtual it was, it felt real for a moment & I could imagine my self holding thy, spreading those angel wings, flying like a bird amidst cloudy sky. We could likewise in real, agree to most of the things and learn to say yes, adapt, change & go figure new horizons that shall have no why's and if's At times its all about going with the flow, which makes your decision-making & life more easier empty-headed, let the heart do all the talking & give head a vacation. 


"I'm living just for the minute... you have all my attention ,hold me, hug me, you've got me all pumping for, dancing around, I am high, I feel like a drunkard ,all mesmerized with this nostalgic never ending ecstasy. 
I hear the music playing...I figured it all started with a smile and a wink & you've been my comfort zone." 

The same friend asked me the next day "where are you" to which I replied "On the ground", since last night we were to fly high, but then it was too clouded, so we decided we shall fly later in the clear sky together, wearing some woolen's since its gonna be chilly out there, but I am certain that I wont be needing any warm clothes for your touch & presence shall make it all worth & deserving.

Sometimes the stranger's are you most trust on to, for the curiosity and excitement drives you crazy and weird & you know you can achieve impossible and make it happen. for as little petite things that you surrender to & rejoice - & that's how you shall live the moment. No matter what you tag the person as' what relationship you name thee & thy with, what difference does it make, if it was not real, and just virtual, for if it was fabulously awesome, it was worth giving a try.

Why do we all have to be limited to our emotions, perceptions, willingness to try stupid weird or new things, irrespective of all the odds, why don't we just come out of the so called good and bad, sure and unsure, yes & no...For one life we all have, and we spend half of it, thinking way to much, and doing nothing exciting, & then we waste other half, cribbing' loosing it badly!

"Today is the day to come and fly and baby don't worry, i'll be there to catch you if you fall 'cause today, is the moment, for us to find it all. So Lets Fly, Lets Fly, Lets Fly,Till we find it all.So Lets Fly, Lets Fly, Lets Fly,Till we have it all. I need you to come up and fly with me, because I feel alive, when I have you  beside me" - Anonymous

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

What's-UP

Hoa \Hoa\ Halloo!
“What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ho!"
After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.”
― 
Wodehouse


Try to say more than a cryptic "hi"

I am a person of a very sound mind, & if you think I am weird, when I ask you stupid questions, that are actually my way of building a conversation blocks by blocks that are going to be quite interesting leading to a wonderful outcome - you might have either already fallen in love with me or you might have died several times under the guilt of yourself being a moron by the time we ended the conversation or somewhere in between...You still there?

I hate small talk. I wanna talk about atoms, death, silence, aliens. sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, far away galaxies, the lies we've told, our flaws, our favorite scents, our childhood, what keeps us up at night, our insecurity & fears, I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't want to know "what's up".

Passion emerges when your essence expresses itself. How do you stop yourself from fully expressing who you are? - John Robson

Hardly are people who would be in totality curious to know how you were, if at all everything was fine with you, what u ate - who cooked and what was cooking? when did you slept & when you woke, What do you did for living, & how you passed your time. The other set of people would be curious in knowing whether you had a girlfriend or a boyfriend & when was the last time you had sex & with whom? What u liked on bed.

It just finds it's way to this sorted unsorted sorts of strange questions that come from a strange mind strangely, trying to invade your privacy in ways to understand how well organized or disorganized you were & they would start relating everything onto themselves realizing whether they were less or more sane-insane sorted kinds. 

They all start in the same way & end it in the same way. If we at all learned the art of inventing more ways to start a conversation & ending it, we could have tiny intellectual small talks or enormously lengthy set of topics that could be a part of our discussion that could eventually lead us to a never ending intimacy with words, that could speed up the process of knowings & findings, strengthening our ability to relate, realize & be friends with the person on the other side in not so complex fits of unparalleled wanderings that made our juices dried up somewhere in between.

For as they say way to thy heart is from stomach - I rather presume it to be willingly true, shall take thy to a newer perspective of dimensional interactive sessions, where no matter how good a cook you are, or don't no a thing about cooking, you shall always lure being a good host when it came to this task of cooking stories, that could be appreciated & were reciprocated over responsive means in more then the usual ordinary ways. As your conversations grow, you learn about wider perspectives by & large, rather just sticking on to thy one or few - which seldom abides by rule books that loosen its adaptability & limits you to boundaries ,which are less familiar. I would say, way to a mans/women's heart is through
a good conversation.

Yes, the whole take on this, depends on person to person, but nevertheless who are we to discriminate or differentiate. The more friendly this so called relationship between you & me might become if there was this verbal sharing & if at all there was no conversation it would die that very instant & despite the fact, how calorie conscious you were, you would seem to be luring to a whole set of perfectly arranged, freshly served & limitless taste-bud buffets, that would do all the talking quenching & sufficing you to the core or forever leave you hungry for a life span(another life).

Discussing about how did your day passed & whats the plan for the coming one. How are you placed today, when are we meeting, What all did you got yourself busy with and what all is inside your head that makes you go worrying about. There are these little great things that tell you how worthy and of importance was it to share & lend a ear, how alarming & warm some suggestions & advice would make you believe in things you were ignorant to. Loitering around with mood swing camouflage, struggling to uneasy fear of having kept things to your own self & coming to your rescue this calmness after letting it out...eventually finding peace with yourself soon or later.

No matter how far & distanced we were, our conversations could meet at regular intervals & we could still hang up with each other by means and ways. We could be as close as anything & still fall apart restricting ourselves by limiting our chances of opening up to our doubts & notions.

"It was good to know you & likewise, the pleasure was mutual"


How is the weather today on the other side?  What movie did you saw last? Is my grass greener then yours?

"You got to keep your stomach full & you got to keep your conversations healthier"

We could meet up for a drink one fine day, at least once, or once in a blue moon if that ever happened. "Cheers - Lets raise a toast" - Anonymous

Friday, November 8, 2013

Thy This - DISILLUSIONED Love

There’s a Japanese folk story about a crane who tricks a man into marrying her by pretending to be a woman. She knows that her beloved won’t want her if he discovers she’s a bird, so at night she stays awake and tears out her feathers with her beak.

'I love you' every now & then sounds more like a punch line statement being said by everyone to just about anyone more in virtually then the real life reciprocation. It sounds so fucking convincing that it would make you turn into a lunatic believing that the other person would die if the person was not held into arms right away & shouldn't be completely ignored, no matter for how much of fractions this would or would last.
As if you were the only person, they were clinging on to in there desperate attempt to lure you 'that you meant the whole world to them & they would die if they meant nothing to you. The 'thy!' (talk to you later). seems to have by now already fled, done over the talking & the next moment you see there was no later at all when it came into ones realization of believing that there were or might be any chances of conversations likewise soon or later or ever. But no they were meant to be never - never again, since they were ones self-centered thoroughly chosen attempts, in there brutally lustful interest to acquaint you for a momentum to their self satisfactory infatuations - in totality wherein love was just a mere desperation in disguise - trying to fiddle with ones emotions in order to rectify there self indulged ego - just pacifying there desperate attempts to get laid. 

Love doesn’t start off difficult to believe in.

The first, even the second time you love someone, you’re starry-eyed and openhearted. You rush into relationships with the unshakable eagerness. You’ve been starved for real love all of your life and suddenly there it is – available to you in abundance. So you give and you take and you want and you demand so much. If your expectations fail to be met, you just pretend and invent. Even the falling apart of the relationship possesses a certain poetic tragedy. The good things cannot last forever and you know that. And so, you try again. You fall in love again. You hope again. You feel again. You have faith again, that this one is going to be it for real. And you repeat this process as many times as it takes. Until somewhere along the line, something goes wrong. Something inside of you breaks in the place where it has always only bent and in a swift, unexpected instant, your heart falls cleanly apart. And now, all that’s left is the real stuff.

Love was never a pretentiously disillusioned play, it had been always there in its truthful sanity. Love never disappointed its givers or takers, It was only the fraudulent practitioners & preachers trying to achieve a high by ways & means through there petrified exclusionary insanity - trying hard to barter a deal to achieve the necessary. How easily random, cunningly weird & miserably fake one would turn out to the other -  ridiculing love to be of a surreal entity, & its existence being assaulted for there own unrighteous endeavors of gratification. Love was being crucified. Thus resulting to make us believe that love was a mandatory discrimination, that was 
exclusionary.

"In a way, we are all virgins of real love unless and until we first become jaded".

There are many who wrongly believe into there self presumed theories of love, & they never realize and understand that, love was not to be run after, it would follow its own course & would find you, if at all it was destined. We need to be enlightened to accept it when it comes, & not shoo it away,just because we think it to be not worthy. We need to grow up & experience though life, what it really meant & how it was to be brought into practice. 


There were seldom various versions to it, which one could possibly not see, or be intuitive about, resulting in many of us getting hurt in ways so many. No matter in what dialects orientations 
by nature it comes forth or whatever its terminology meant - the one and only was to get through the real one is through practicing. As they say 'practice makes a man perfect'.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.


Real love has nothing to do with mutual admiration societies or self centered gestures, in ways of luring thy through fake enacting logistics of a practically unreal, unhealthy, inhuman tantrums of political dramatics. I wonder how far would one go, faking it, climbing up the ladder on to thy shoulder, getting all thy needs attended and personified, & still not finding a way to deal with the real love. Sadly, I see love going into ashes, rising & falling apart - all foggy - all so disillusioned have the hearts become, for they all by now think from there clever witty minds & they would never take for guaranteed anything that came form the soulful heart. Who shall they crave for & whether or not they could ever be mesmerized? They only have learned the art of ditching & betrayals, for they only knew to make the world paralyzed.


Your intuitions will come to your rescue, but you got to judge them wise, and not get misguided between the real & false. It would be not as hard it might seem to find ones that truly could love you but then, it would always be you nature to nurture your longings in the way you perceived. If at all you ever made an attempt to love someone, irrespective of odds, then my friend, your world would have by now already heard the lullabies of love.

I wish 'love' never had a tags & everyone could just go about loving blindly, irrespective of odds & would not even expect that the ends would meet, but then that would only become one heck of a nuisance in itself if it was not reciprocated likewise, as expectations are prone to rise, when there is indulgence of sorts & loving thee could only be promising if only thy was being loved in return to the fullest wholeheartedly.

Whatever love you’d trick someone into giving you would be love for an act, and it’s hard not to feel contempt for people you can trick like that. So you won’t really like them, and what they like won’t really be you. It’s a reverse Midas curse, turning what should be gold into dust. You’d get love in the same move that would make it worthless.

If at all it matter's to you the most 'let it be in real' - for there is just one life, & there was not much of time left in our hands to rejoice love & be at peace - sufficing it & acknowledging, if we were to only end up struggling to fight for love'. - Anonymous

See'LOOK - Let Me EXPLAIN

I Don't want bother you much!

I get it, you might have your owns set of agendas, & I might have a lifestyle of my own.

It's just like, I feel secure & comfortable sharing (as much as I think you do as well) what's in my heart and mind, with a complete stranger, that I have yet to experience of becoming friends with in totality. As of no I might call you a friend virtually, for all I understand that it takes a real long to actually tag someone with that name. We might be much of a strangers though at the moment and unknown and at a distance, where we could just not get hints about what we actually were and how we actually were.

We all are strangers, so strange, strangely wanting to equip ourselves with yet stranger of sorts, & still feel strange being strangled strangely in this strange strange world.

But this curiosity instilled with-in has made us come a long way over this short period of virtual communication, where in we have shared few of the some of the paragraphed texts of conversational nuances & everything else, that has gone by so far till this very moment. May it be feelings of excitement & hilarious over exaggerating comments in weird ways seldom coming to pitfalls of high & low, uplifting us in ways or the sad stories that brought us down complementing to our sadist of phases. We all are human, that's what I believe if at all we are no animals who just cant be tamed well enough when it comes to human perceptions & ideologies that might just differ in approach but run parallel at the same time in tendencies with a difference in terminology strictly perceived in ways we wanted to, and just being judgmental wont solve any good. It could only bring in misunderstandings until we actually knew each other for real. 

We all have this set of phenomenon, where we need our own space, and we react & emote & reply & revert & even do a conversation when we feel its a right time to do so, and most of the times, we would run away having no communication at all. There are things that we all might get busy with, but at the end this virtuousness of virtual thing that we have adapted ourselves to might be a good thought to have figured out, why we were here at the first place. We all are a bunch of loners, craving for things rather real then the surreal superficial norms that might just be temporary but not for a longtime. & believe me when I say, you don't know me by now, of the half of the things I have told you about myself at lengths and so would be the other way round.

We all are figuring out the disfiguring & yet at times dwell deeper into figuring out our own selves, when we learn there is much hope to understand much of everything else within and around. 

All the draining &
 pouring of the feelings by and large - bursting-out into the utterly surprised state of acknowledgements that come out of our perceiving a life that we have experienced just might be not in parallel to the person we might end up communicating or meeting to on the contrary but then the lateral part of emotional longing into expecting and seeking a refuge of a little attention seeking pandora of acceptances & overwhelming understanding  - with a little bit of concern & love - without limits, blindfolded into no hallucinated wisdom that needs no queries onto us unleashing in urge to be felt wanted & to be surrounded & surrendered likewise.

If at all we could be friends with someone honestly, without assuming the amused musings of our getting along well or the ending to a disastrous outcome for any number of times.

Its probably because of this age gap, that we are different, and I know of few who get mature of there age & there are some who just stay closeted to ones own set of four walled & a ceiling, grounded to there set of thoughts, hoping the world was different or seem to be very much the same.

I don't says its your fault, its neither mine either. But then that's how everything works, tats how life goes onto growing & that's how we work(you & me) & everyone else. 


Why cant we just loose ourselves to as a romantic strangers with little tender & care, comforting our zones completely so strange that it teaches us more as we reach out to each other in ways & by means where we  tend to figure out in the process how things could be while we snuggled down with a hug & cuddled kidding each other & let everything else fade away.

Ones shoulders would have by now already witnessed heavy burdens of life in totality & with a tight hug we could so willingly confirm that it was really to meant from ones heart & not just a superficial ones. Looking into the eyes, staring could ease out so much. The whispers in silence would do all the talking and we would know each other without even having to had talked about nothing at all.

There could be things difficult to explain and hearts not so easily available to reach out to. We often are more in solitude and a loner when we really want to be badly in love or even a comfort of someone giving us that very sense of security irrespective of ones approach whatsoever.

For once I would ask you to love me, for my love is honest & truthful, irrespective of anything & everything - with no hidden agendas at all. It could be an disillusioned infatuated pigmentation sufficing for a while, but underneath it was something that made me realize, that there was more to life then just skins of flesh & I in my purest of forms eventually want to lean on to you & learn more as we get closer to each other,

I am not going to give you lengthy explanations but at times, when I feel I needed to, I might just give one or two and no matter how thorough & thoughtful you considered yourself to be, there would be times, when you needed to figure out that it was not the case. Something really was not so right & if it was not righteous, I guess we had no way to go any further, and we would just probably meet in for real once, or even end it all here right now, being virtual accomplices and moving on.

For any reason if we thing that our conversations sounded more of a gibberish now, after a while, we talked a lot ,there are chances we don't have anything else to talk about, and when there is no talking then there might just now be anything left. If just in case, you don't get it at all, I shall leave you like that, & wont pressurize you to understand things. lets get over with this virtual trauma of dramatic dilemma of sorts , these theatrical acts, which are not for real, they just sound so reel.to me.

Loving someone & if at all, you could feel in the same way - saying I love you for no rhyme or reason! - that would have meant that you would want to love me & want my love back. At times here just cant be reasons to justify our meanings to a meaninglessly and unconditional approaches that we go though and through all the while, for whatever it is between us or has been between us, has step by step brought us more closer to our feelings and a clearer vision, irrespective of the perceived anguish trying to question all the more in knots, that only could be opened when we confided into each other to knew the knowing & speaking out to you has been just one way out - a step taken ahead of the all more things, that one could willingly accept or deny in the process.

I might crave for you more, & it might be the case, that you wont crave for me at all. But it has to be mutual, I could follow my heart, and it could go on and on, but then your heart also had to do your part of talking and I would make sure, I was all ears! - Anonymous

Self-SERVICE

"There is no such thing as just existing. Everything is in service to everything else. Existence is giving and receiving.”

We ain't here to amuse or entertain anyone for free & if we do, we expect the same from the other side, in return - "that's a barter deal". Nevertheless that depends on how well equipped intellectual or dumb we are to keep it going. It takes more then much of it always to make it growing. 

"Even prostitutes don't do sex for free"

How often are we willing to? - Where is all of this leading to? In a span of life, we gradually tend to understand its worth, value & usage. We experience & witness conditional-unconditional human behaviorism with its confronted establishments - whether comforted or in discomfort. Often finding a trailed series of needs, urges, cravings, aspirations, expectations hosting over these set of emotions - sharing & caring, longing & separation, outbursts & loathing, happiness & excitement or curiosities. 

We are all a flock of untamed vulnerable creatures belonging to the same viscous circle globetrotting around wandering in our desperate yearnings, wondering how to suffice parts & parcels. 
 .  
Guilty conscious are we? No - never ever. that's the problem.  it either could be entirely your or my fault to presume, assume, judge & misunderstand, mistaking us to qualify onto believing that we would be going ahead with each other. My answers in reactions to your so called curious queries or statements are just based on a hope that we might find love & light at the end & it had nothing at all to do with the set of piled self-assumed contextual references(negates or high spirited). They could just merely be an outgrown generalized realization of logical & practical approach to a life lived or experienced. We can have a round table conference if you want - very well, but let me warn you it ain’t going to end up into any conclusive concreteness of conclusions if we were to only rant in vein superficially with our own shelved centered ideologies based on our self judgmental erratic nuances. There would be no end to this frightful fight whatsoever & if at all we saw no use coming to a mutual of understandings between us, we rather should not even start this so called chapter - absolutely serving no purpose. 

I have a lot going on in my life right now, maybe even too much - I’ve got a lot I need to do. I’ve got "A lot on my Plate." 

For you - I shall take a spin & rather get churned (into bits & pieces)in a grinder or a washing machine & then find myself completely worn out - hung all crumbled up on to a hanger to get dried & later ironed or even cooked & fried - laid on to the platter being served with a pinch of salt & pepper sprinkled upon me. Who is going to eat me? Will you? Who is going to wear me? You wont even fit in or probably even relish, then what’s the point?  

“I am fed up of these roller coaster rides, take me as I am - end of discussion". 

‘Exerted to the core & now I am even more hungry now, I am all out of juices & I have been eating apples & absolutely going bananas’

See, I am of a  pure heart & a soulful mind(blank be it, if you are not willing to understand my intellect) & I am expecting just as little as anyone of a sane sorted mind (human enough) would in return. I shall be doing away with my obligatory formalities.& would be re-considering you one more time, last may be of taking you as a friend or more or just flee away.

Either you are a saint with a  divine soul, providing a free service randomly to the entire world(one's choice completely). I possibly could be one too, We possibly could be one though, irrespective of the odds, but there shall always be a difference between the holy & the unholy ways of doing things - in ways we want them to get done. If not now then never ever. let us go dutch, lets barter - & see how it works - giving and taking each other respectively.

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him/her, you will see yourself, for in him/her you will find yourself. Its not necessary that would might just figure out yourself in a every person you encounter with, but most of the times it would be like seeing each other in each other kinds, and the process would be in bits & pieces, step by step & gradually you will learn that you were either indifferent or there was absolutely no difference between the two of you. You either would completely want to loose yourself and surrender to or you would not even want to proceed ahead an inch further. Hard or easy that it might get at times, but then the decision has to be wise or it shall have its repercussions with guilt haunting you.

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on. - Sharon Salzberg

I was just being myself, in anticipation that you shall be yourself too. Lets have each other the way we are. There aint no fun in deceiving or pleasing. - Anonymous

Thursday, October 24, 2013

FAKE - Thy SELF


Who are we faking too? Our own selves. Really... What for, What good it be to anyone? Everyone seems to be turning into false prophets on the other end, claiming they know it all.

In this day and age its so easy to fake your identity online, that most of us have already be doing it in a small or bigger way. Our fake selves will kill us all. We always find a way of faking ourselves out. In other words, we can convince ourselves that we’re doing more than we actually are. 

The popular notion of “fake it ‘til you make it”? It almost seems like a paradox, two conflicting ideas that cannot co-exist, yet I have come to understand they go hand-in-hand.Without going too deep and philosophical, it could be argued that humanity is universally and inherently “faking it until they make it” – in a constant state of change, living and learning, constantly striving to survive or improve in some way or another. This is occurring on an unrelated wavelength from “being yourself”, which becomes moot point, because the essence of what separates one individual identity from another never changes – the unique genetic makeup and hardwired personality. The self is always coming through, as long as you give it the best chance to come through, to the best of your current ability and potential – whether it be socially, relationships, work, recreation or any other areas in life that are most important to you, at any given time.

There is a set of lonesome saddest of saddest of people, who live in there own world in solitude & there are those self obsessed ones, trying to seek attention in ways - with no love around in there lives. Clinging on the fake lured ecstasy's of life - filling up all the blank spaces somewhere sometimes, despite of all the odds of living with & killing it over on virtual  dilemmas over social networking, they tend to suffice with self pity(not showing it to no one), reluctantly not agreeing to it to be true & of any potential. Beside being secretive to themselves to the core, yet strangely, not wanting to come out of there surreal set of assumed presumptions they strive to live on being unsocial in reality. They wont come out of this virtual in an attempt to see the light of virtuousness beyond there self explanatory gist's of there judgmental morals, falseness & superficial cravings.They are afraid to make friends, trust and show affection, increasingly slowing down on to there endeavors if any in there attempts to find & dwell into the differentiation of real and fake, for they feel they are better off alone in the four walled world that they live in. With limitations and self sufficient ceremonial descendants, that they call there own, cheering up to the fake world and asking for attention & not letting there real self come out. 

For there emotions might be real somewhere although disillusioned to themselves and thy world they restrictively flee away from and choose to be with the presumed human traits of there near by surroundings, where they find artificial thy few they assume to be real. For all the fruitful endeavors that only last as long as thy selfish need & urge longing is fulfilled. Sometimes its one of the many of the things that takes a back seat & the so called reasoning and logic permits and restricts ones own very soul, mind and body to please oneself and to others in attempts obligatory or with no obligations whatsoever at all. 

For lost is thy age and maturity of the ones emotional misunderstanding of convenience they revolve around, unresolved & laid - lying. They often see this pressure being builds up and often end up into an outburst.They in there viciousness of that ever existed & future that they seldom find not overwhelming coming to there rescue, ending up realizing later what was was was, and what is is is and what shall be shall be!.

Not difficult to find millions of the social addict lonesome souls, that differ from one to another, with similar common habitual tendency, nocturnal to self fed foolish online blabbering sorts finding peace with lengthy paragraphs of conversations that would just about suffice them to crave for there very own set of cravings through a chat or two that for them shall be a victorious effort to have achieved something out of nothing, nevertheless leading to nothingness in reality & being afar from significance out of as much of virtual & fake thyself. You will see them online most of the time, very few would understand and agree with the fact, (deep down inside) for why they are there, and for half of the other lot shall deny the factual understanding of acknowledging self to be morons who seem not very sought-fully thoughtful. Loner's irrespective of caste, creed, color, orientation sitting in the wilderness trying to achieve there possible goals to an extent in there hysterical fondness towards a unrealistic unkempt life, hampering there own growth - making them all the more unsocial.

When it comes to those generations young enough or old, to have grown up in a social media–saturated world, the signs are particularly grim.

Social media, of course, hasn’t magically turned us into narcissists. These days, when we spend as much time on social media as we do interacting face to face, this is what we are told fun is: capturing and ‘sharing’ ourselves doing apparently fun things. Witness the ads on television, with their shiny young things and upbeat indie pop, their magic hour vibes and aspirational heft, the shiny young things taking pictures of themselves and poring over them in a way that says These precious moments will last forever, now that we have captured them. Go to any fun park or low-rent tourist dive, where, activity done, you’ll be sold photos of yourself participating in said activity, as if these are the point. Or view the ‘fun’ hashtag feed on Instagram, which is actually 70 million + photos of people pouting into the phones on their cameras, and very little else. Such pre-occupation with ourselves cannot be healthy. 

Beyond this, though, I think we need to start talking, frankly and openly, about the epidemic of self-obsession in our midst. What’s enabling it? How are we participating in it? And what’s it doing to us, to our thinking and desiring and experiencing? What murky parts of ourselves do our online selves sublimate or bring out or make worse? Could it be that the current spate of exhibitionism is just the self-serving voice in all of us, writ large?

Thou shall not fake thyself out, Yay or Nay? - Anonymous

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Unkempt STUFF- It Happens

All that stuff - which was restlessly neglected & unkempt, stood there piled up...like a junk, loathing to decades of its misery, wanting to flee away to a much awaited junket or two. It looked as if it pleaded to be heard, to be pampered & patted in anticipation that it wont be left alone 'all by itself' to rot & die. 
"I hope that I would rather shape-up or ship-out & don't make a mess"

I have always beg to differ from these seldom interpreted versions of phenomenons of life & death & I would unquote all the quoted & decipher through & through the 
wisdomous contexts pertaining & referring to 'as a whole', taking my experiences as flawless examples. In the process while coming face-to-face & toe-to-toe with the reasoning of self realization. My life is an example of what good & bad encompasses & I am no more willingly keen to wait for 'to learn & witness any greater good or worst' - My soul has been already abducted by this body & something inside-out tell me 'I am through with this life'. 


When you tend to start talking more about the journeys of life, your experiences, mistakes, achievements, goals & discussing about how this growth eventually lead you to, from where you started in the beginning and how things for now have turned out for you. How taken for guaranteed the situation & people became and how well knitted & framed the family stood and vice-versa & how your perceptions evolved around those people you once called friends or family that had been nothing more then a presumptuous irony deceiving unexpectedly, revolving into circles, with no static resolute. These strangely unfamiliar assumptions based on familiar experiences in past try to convince you to listen to your intuitions, while everything else seems to be troubling you, misleading you to limitations of there own

A learned & an understanding one always tries to suffice itself to a platform that pertains to a mindful of lateral thinking that might just give you indications on to how it was done & how apt & feasible it would be to adopt & adapt to the wholeness completely.

For all that's long back said & done away with, shall harness no fruitfulness furthermore - In beliefs of  these self sufficed peculiarities, we have become tamed to our own (master-slave games). We've stopped taking people seriously as much have they stopped taking us back & the only. When life itself has no guarantees, the only thing that guarantees you things in abundance is your own freedom that by no means should get hampered by shadows of 
superficial idiocy & would keep you earnestly heartfelt.

We all at the end come down to mere reality of what, who & how we are & we need no miraculous attempts to be judged & perceived by others. Once the masks are gone, we stand concretely grounded in existence truly of what we really are to ourselves & others
.


If at all things have to end this way, why is there a need to initiate them at all?
यदि सभी चीजों को इस तरह से समाप्त करना है, तो उन्हें, शुरू करने की आवश्यकता क्यों है?


“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good & I am trying to be more receptive, perceptive and altruistic.” - Anonymous

TALK on the PHONE

If you’re a tree frog or an ovenbird in mating season and you happen to live in a habitat that lies within 3,500 feet of a road, bummer for you. Not only are you more likely to collide with an SUV, but you’re going to have a harder time finding a mate.

Research suggests that human-generated noises also mess with nesting behavior, predator-prey dynamics, and sleep patterns. In other words, wildlife gets stressed out by noise & 
so do we, it turns out - the world is getting louder. Scientists define “noise” as unwanted sound, and the level of background din from human activities has been doubling roughly every three decades, beating population growth. Road traffic has tripled & planes are even audible overhead 70 percent of the time. And while that’s obviously a nuisance for animals and visitors seeking a restorative experience, this growing anthropophony (a fancy word for the human soundscape) is also contributing to stress-related diseases and early death, especially in and around cities.

But the physical responses that helped save our asses from predators back on the veldt (and still might prove useful at a busy intersection) have obvious downsides in the middle of a telephonic conversation or while you’re trying to get some sleep. On the flip side, positive sounds like chill music, pleasing birdsong, and the voices of loved ones stimulate the brain’s emotional centers, bringing feelings of joy, calm, and well-being.

Is Your Noisy Neighborhood Slowly Killing You?

“Those noises are violating your experience. It’s half as stressful as doing the speech task. Those aren’t trivial effects.”

It all adds up to a dagger twice thrust: Not only does background noise interfere with our much-needed ability to recuperate, but in the places where we live and play, we have increasingly fewer havens from the onslaught.

Amidst those crowded streets, folks around, television sets playing idiotic soap operas & music from nowhere to a group of peeping talking loudly in thee discussion of nothing that important specially on there speakerphone having to come out on the roads to eventually talking there highest of pitches to make things audible, since they wont find network that easily available inside there four walled privacy.

With a noise here, and a noise there, when from nowhere your phone rings & you get all stressed & strangled trying to understand every bit of a conversation in between the call dropping and no network coverage to everything else that would be more audible then the actual conversation. I would end up hearing almost anything to everything but not the person who I was talking to.- in between those sudden gaps, trying to make out what was reciprocated and understand what was said - takes a while to actually make the conversation going. It was pestering & erratic to lower down all the audible musings and get hold of your muse on the phone do all the talking while you tried even harder to talk back with no avail as your voice would not get through and it's somewhere at the other end or in here that I would be blaming the whole noisy tantrums that followed specially while you had to talk over the phone.

How do I intend to understand what thy said, did the other person on the other side understood what I was saying? - for I assure you, I make it a point to switch off my fans & water coolers or music & TV sets to a pin drop silence before I would have to talk - secluding myself to a much lonely of sorts of unsorted environment that abruptly had no more noises from my end, & would often ask the other person to find solitude under complete silence - while we 'walked the talk'.

Even the telephone bill shines brighter day by day & I sit and think, what good of a discussion in a conversation it be, when there was no actual talking - for all the while in assumptions of half of it gone above head & as much hard you tried purposely of not letting its significance dither way - you end up to this death of a much joyous talk that it could probably have been (an overwhelming one - sufficing to ones core) - but all in vein ending up to this ranting nuisance. everything i hear seems to be going everywhere or somewhere, other then my ear & then it settles down in bits & pieces trying to recollect. Not everything was being heard what was being told & everything was being told, that could probably be not heard. And as soon as the conversation over the phone ended, there was this silence around & as much willing I was to call back but wouldn't dare, since I was afraid that it would be to no avail since the noisy ghosts would trouble us again and nothing would be audible at all. 

Though it was as much beautiful to say silent, & hear the world talk, and do all the talking. You could hear the whispers & over polluting noises. You would just want to shut yourself up & let the world do talking while you befriended silence in your keen endeavor to practice & preach no useless blabbering over the phone, while you could text everything & convey what you wanted to. So now, I make sure that I end up writing lengthy paragraphs of what is to be told, and in reciprocation gets equal amounts of texts in revert doing the actual talking, over these communicative measures that we often have been trying to find solace to and that just about suffices it all mostly. But then, at times you have to take a call & as much you would want to say, you were wanting to be heard.

Sometimes you go blank, really mesmerized by someones talks or texts & glad that you had this talking & at times, you say - what a pity, I would not have had taken this call at all. A time well spent over a good conversation in ones curiosity to figure out & share things becomes a concern & a part of your daily chore rituals & a simple text, if not lengthy paragraphs promise you that there was this constructive conversation that was parallel in approach & by all means you would not to have it ever ended. if only people knew the art of ways in which we could communicate, there would completely be no necessity of us being a part of this whole noisy talking experience. 

I am glad to have invented ways to talk, without even talking.

I would often request a person on the other side to come in a more peaceful environment, away from all the other noises & then talk to me. - Anonymous