Sunday, December 11, 2011

Tattoo CURIOSITY



I have met many guys and gals talking about getting a Tattoo done. Not very much to my surprise, It came to out to be quite  curious intensed harmonal genes that were pretty much excited when the word Tattoo came into a discussion being made, or talked about. But not more to ma surprise I met interesting people who were more interested to get Tattoos on there private parts, If I might say it to be rather a "A Private Affair, Flaunting Publically" which seems quite in these days. Long gone have those days when It was a traditinal social or a personality trace affair, as of now it has become a symbol of masculanity & sexual orientations, fetishes, tastes, image.
There was this discusssion, the other day a Tattoo artist was talking to me about interest of people getting inked on there private parts, & then a series of questions that came backing it all up, laid down to a Tattoo Artist like: Is it going to pain much, and how much time will it take? What if I want to get it done on a private part of my body?
The Tattoo Artist replied yes, it can be done anywhere you want, and hour or so is it that will be the time frame, and would give less pain, compared to others - technically! Well after all the questions, that were answered to the person be addressed too, It came a surprise to the Tattoo Artist, when he was more surprised to know when he was asked, Whether you shall be naked or half dressed, while you are putting that tattoo for me? To which the Tattoo Artist replied, well Lets meet up, and then decide, but yes no harm in being naked.
Can you personally come to my place to put a Tattoo for me asked the person, & yes was a reply of Tattoo Maker, with a smiley!
When asked, was the deal finalized, the Tattoo Artist said no, not yet. Waiting for it to finalize. Looking forward to it.
From getting a Tattoo inked (size does matter - helps you finalize the budget, you are looking in to put in) to ones fetishes & curiosities, This is the same level of curiosity that goes in every one's genes, when they look forward to - getting inked! & with a more curious behaviour when the Tattoo is for the private parts, a private affair much largely becomes a public affair.
Hope to update you more on this, if it happens! - Anonymous

Friday, December 2, 2011

Those COMMENTS

 


When I hear that:I want to hide,I want to die,I hate myself,I want to cry,I wish someone knew me,I feel completely alone,I wonder what's wrong with me then that I don't have a boyfriend,I get sweaty, I get anxious, sometimes I even get a headache. Sometimes I even want to barf. Seriously tho, when i'm feeling less dramatic, I get a headache, and I get palpitations. I just want one fantastic guy whom I like to love me and he can hide me away and enjoy me all for himself (like the song "Girls just wanna have fun"), and I will spend happy times with other housewives, their daughters, grandmothers, and little girls. I just want a simple life. Not a life full of sh*T that i just don't need.

Why is this? It almost doesn't make sense. Doesn't make sense to me at all...I should like those kind of comments, right? What kind of stupid brain do I have right here? It's madness.....How can I hate those comments. How? Why? How dumbfounding and counter-intuitive. This is madness.- Anonymous

Sunday, November 20, 2011

MARATHON-The Mummy Run





Today I ran for an hour and ten minutes.

My daughter, 7, plays tennis. Generally I drop her off at her courts and run on the track alongside at the club where she plays. Or I hop across to the gym (which is also at the club) and run on the treadmill. When I run on the track, my daughter is half proud of Mummy heffalumping away in plain sight of all her buddies and half e...mbarrassed.

Generally her brother, 3, stays home and plays in the park or rides his bike. Today, because there was no one home to look after him (long story – some other time), he had to be dragged along for tennis. When I settled him down on the chairs near the courts with his toys and his books and asked him if I could run on the half km track, he nodded agreeably.

So I took off.

Exactly one minute later, I heard a wailing keening cry. When I turned around he was coming after me like a bullet. Mummy, mummy mummy, you wicked girl, I’m so scared, don’t leave me, he wept burrowing into my vest. Please don’t go where I cant see you

Sometimes a mum’s got to do what a mum’s got to do.


I ran for 70 minutes straight.

Except, instead of running the half-kilometer loop where I would have been out of his sight for quite a few stretches, I ran only along the length of the courts.

A distance of maybe 20 metres. Back and forth, back and forth.

Passing him playing in the mud every 7 seconds. Admiring the leaves he collected and throwing away the beer bottle shards he found from somewhere. Pulling a band aid off his finger as I ran, “because its getting too dirty to play with mummy”.

I ran for 70 minutes basically circling my son. Before I could get into my stride, I had to turn around and come right back. I ran without knowing how much distance I covered. I ran though I made myself giddy with the blink and you have to turn around loop. I ran despite the fact that my daughter rolled her eyes up at me every time I looked, because she thought I looked “so weird”.

It looked weird because it was weird. It was a really really weird run. The mummy run.

It was also the happiest run I’ve run in a long long while. - Anonymous

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

SEX as PRIORITY

 


My boyfriend doesn't see sex as a priority in our relationship, am I lucky?
I've been in relationships where my boyfriend has wanted sex every which way, and if he didn't get it a lot he would start looking in other places. For the first time in my life, I'm with someone I totally love and adore, and he views sex as important but a very small part of what makes a great relationship, so if he isn't feeling good or is stressed out he isn't in the mood. He only wants it when conditions are just right. I like to have it a little more often than he does, but I think I am willing to compromise on it and not have it as much because he compromises for me in so many other ways.  - Also, if he isn't in the mood, he got me a vibrator to use.

I'd rather have no sex than bad sex, which means the one night stand thing is pretty pointless in general.

I once suggested to a male friend that some women might have less need for sex because women have better sex toys available to them, but he said I was wrong. (Not about the sex toys, but about the idea that they're that helpful. He said his hand was grand.)

Is sex your 1st priority in a relationship?

No. If we want sex as a priority, we would've gotten a hooker or an easy to get girl. We get in a relationship because we want companionship and someone to be with, someone to accept and love us back. Sex will always be a part of a relationship and might happen sooner or later, but it is not a priority. We want it more if it were to result out of true love rather than just get off the heat at the moment.

How much of a priority is sex in your relationship, and how serious is your relationship?
Sex is not one of the highest priorities in my relationship with my wife. Our relationship is incredibly serious.

This, however, doesn't mean that we don't have sex/make love. We certainly do, but it is not something that we feel we must acclompish five times a night, every night. We have sex because we want to, and if one partner is too tired or not in the mood then we don't need sex to be close. A good cuddle and just being there is far more important to us. I don't know whether it's significant or not, but I remember the days when we had just met and five times a day was about right. I remember, but I think that we have a much deeper love now, and love-making is slower and more for our pleasure as a couple than the more physical sex we had at first. Sex is only a tiny part of love, and love is a feeling you have to experience to be able to understand.

I myself do not think it is that high on the list of things to do but my husband does. It is always a big deal in our relationship. But i guess if people need sex to feel loved and wanted it is very high on their list

Well I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and sex is important.. i mean we can go without having it but we choose not to because is a way of showing how much we love each other.. it also depends how you view relationships..

At the beginning my (at the time, soon to be) wife had a much stronger sex drive than myself. Sex was still important to me, it just wasn't as high a priority as it was to her. Our relationship has remained very serious. Heck, there was that wedding 7 years ago.

As we grow old together sex becomes, well, interesting, in ways we never had to deal with before. Fortunately we have a lot of newfangled health food store products to help out (I highly recommend lotions containing "Wild Yam"). Our sex drives have evened out. And we're still serious.
When the sex is good and plentiful, everything else seems to falls into place much easier.
Ive been in a committed relationship for a while now, living together. our sex life is very dull.. i feel a huge pressure to have sex (not by him, but stereotypes).. so when we do have sex, its not very passionate..

The problem from my vantage point is that women seem to be very willing to do it early in the relationship but once they get what they want - a ring, kids, etc they lose interest. This is the case in my experiences as well as that of at least 90% of the guys I know.
Its like they do it to lure you in. With that said, I have had two girlfriends who were different and loved sex. The difference was obvious. We just weren't as compatible in other ways.
If the sex isn't good, there would have to be a lot of other reason to stay in the relationship. if not, why not just be friends? besides, if people in a relationship stop having sex, that seems like a pretty good indicator that something else in their relationship is wrong. btw, my current relationship is not very serious & i'm not that far into it.
  
Sex is important in a relationship. Even though there is spells in which sex is not as important (right now a family member is really ill) but the affection shown in sex is significant. My relationship has been for 6 years.


My wife and I have a serious difference in sex drives. She has told me that sex is not important to her, and that if I wanted more sex I should never have married her. Am I wrong to stay in this relationship? Am I wrong to value sex?
One fact - that we start to like someone, and meet ocassionally & want to go on bed with, and after we have tasted the so called sex for a while, say 3-4 times, we kind of get boared of the person. Since it's like we are through with the sex as a priority with that person, & love is always there to an extent that you would not like to leave that person, maybe its liek a security - stability that you would not want to loose on too, no matter what. Being alone hurts, so you would at times unwanted have sex with the person if the need arises, if its demanded from the other side., but you would not be sexually charged yourself. One would still like to look out for other options to fill in the sex endurances and frustations, that might overcome somehow by chatting, sex on the phone with newere, fewer, people who would excite you more. The person you are in relationship wont be the person charging you up, afterwards, but the new person, the new taste of the spiced up activity that one would want to try out with is something that no matter what you would wana try out. if not in real, for sure a virtaul thingi would be satisfying enough. But at the same time you wont ever want to leave the person you are with, spending hours, and time of your life, caring, understading, talking, sharing, loving (less or no sex, with a little bit of romance, and gifting eachother, going for rides, vaccations, celebrations, dancing, party's etc.). It's funny but true when we have someone there to have sex with, we are not that interested, and when we dont have anyone, we get so panicy about it and desperate to have it with any damn person, though we have our preferences of choices tagged to it. I at times wonder what would the person on the other side would be wondering!, Does he feel the same. At times its not about priorities, but its about the circumstancial phase that make you loose interest in things like this, on the contrary things that would value more! - Anomymous

Monday, October 31, 2011

HOW CLOSE is too close

 


Getting close to people - Do you find that sometimes, when you get too close to a person and become close friends with them, both of you ended up hating each other eventually?

This is what happened between me and my close friends. Initially, we get along very well. But when we get to know each other better and become closer, we ended up getting annoyed with each other and eventually we fall out with each other. It's really strange how the people who are closest to you are the ones who judge you the most harshly.

I don't feel like getting close to people anymore, I feel annoyed by most people. Or maybe I just haven't meet the right person for a close friendship yet. Does anyone feel the same way as me?
People Are Like Vegetables, Or Bad-tasting Medicine!-I've seen people I care about get hurt by people, which has made me very hesitant to trust others.  It's kept me safe emotionally, but it has made me very lonely.  Unfortunately, humans are social animals, and as much as I hate to admit it, I need a certain amount of human interaction, or I start to go crazy.  My overactive mind goes into overdrive, I get paranoid, & my social anxiety gets worse.  So, I force myself to be as sociable as I can, & try ignore the anxiety & discomfort bcos I know it's good for me.  In other words, people are like vegetables, or bad-tasting medicine!  You just gotta swallow it.
Well basically there's this girl I know. She has a boyfriend who she describes as caring,bla bla bla but lately I see her always sitting extremely close to a boy (best friend, she claims).Extremely close as in leaning onto him,leaning onto his breast and then sleeping basically on him,sitting on his lap and leaning on him face very close to his, etc..also she describes that boy also as sweet and caring,etc. Worst thing is she and he have both crushes on each other. Personally I think she's going too far as she does have a boyfriend..and she did look kinda flirty and easy. When I told her she needs to tell her boyfriend - she overreacted and told me that she loves him and that she will not leave him. When I told her not to get too physically close to that boy then she sees nothing wrong with that. As they are "best friends" but she does have a crush on him. Well, she tells me that she's quite committed to her boyfriend so flirting around like that shouldn't be good. She's 18 - an "adult" but in this small city or barangay where she's in. Everybody know everybody and who wants to be labeled something bad esp. if you know how fast it would spread?

Also she did say she loves her BF but she has a huge crush on her friend (and he has too).It's not really my problem but I do care what others think of her, esp. within the own family!

Leave her alone? I would if I weren't "in-charge" of her. I'm the one who pays all her bills cuz I'm like her parent (I'm not but I'm a relative of hers). - Anonymous

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

HIRE THE LAWYER, Not the Law Firm


After hearing yet another general counsel tell me, "We hire the lawyer, not the law firm," it seems an appropriate time to step back and dissect this apparently simple statement and see what it really suggests. Clearly, this statement is not as simple as it appears -- as a matter of fact, it is complicated, multifaceted and multipurpose.
This statement has been used for years, and will probably continue to be used, but why? When general counsel say they hire the lawyer, not the law firm, what are they really saying? Is it nothing more than posturing?
We can safely say that no in-house counsel is going to hire a lawyer, no matter how competent and successful he or she is, if the lawyer does not have the capacity, resources and backing of a law firm that can properly represent a multibillion-dollar business.
There are deeper implications to this statement -- implications for the lawyers facing the client, lawyers working on a client team and ultimately the law firms who employ these lawyers and serve these clients. As my colleague Bruce MacEwen, aka blogger for "Adam Smith, Esq.," observes, "I think it's one of those 'too cute by half' remarks that obfuscates much more than it reveals."
So what are the implications? How can we all better understand what appears to be so precise and clear -- and is used so often? To better understand this issue, I solicited input from general counsel and my consulting colleagues. To dissect the statement, let's break it into its two obvious parts: "We hire the lawyer," and "We don't hire the law firm."
'WE HIRE THE LAWYER'
This is it. This is what the general counsel want you to believe; and much of it is absolutely true. To a great extent, in a personal service business, it is personal chemistry and relationships that matter. William B. Lytton, who now serves as senior counsel at Dechert and was previously executive vice president and chief legal officer of Tyco International Ltd. and other corporations, told me, "What you want to know when you hire a firm is who will be on the other end of the phone when you call with a question, and whose professional judgment will be guiding the work done and the decisions made."
In an informal survey I conducted for this article, on a scale of one (lowest importance) to 10 (perfect chemistry) the importance of personal chemistry and relationship is ranked an eight to 10 by most general counsel. We are not talking about chemistry in the sense of friendship, but professional chemistry defined by an ability to effectively communicate, as well as a common sense of judgment and fundamental values. Of course, most people want to work with people they like, trust and feel comfortable with, and general counsel are no different in this respect.
We have also found that personal relationships are a major factor in determining how sympathetically a request for proposal response will be read by a prospective client, as well as the openness of engagement discussions, and how the ultimate agreements are negotiated. Chemistry also rates a "10," if "the lawyer" actually is the client relationship lawyer and others will be doing the work and funneling the work product upward through the relationship lawyer.

As my Altman Weil colleague, Ken Bunge, former managing attorney of United Technologies Corp., pointed out, "The relationship with the individual partner is the key and is based on a proven track record over time. For example, a successful outcome on an important company matter will not only build confidence within the legal department but also with senior management."
Bunge went on to point out that success means "the CEO, CFO, etc. will identify that partner by name for future matters." In short, it becomes very personal at that point.
Many of today's law firms are huge organizations with far-flung offices and many faceless lawyers working on complicated and expensive matters. Making the client relationship personal is critical. A single lawyer must be in a position of ultimate accountability. The general counsel must have someone who he or she holds responsible for the success or failure of a matter, the quality of the services, the way a matter is handled and the cost of the services. This is why they hire the lawyer.
'WE DON'T HIRE THE LAW FIRM'
Well, frankly, yes you do hire the law firm. There is more to the client relationship than trust in the legal competence of an individual lawyer.
Of course the lawyers must have a sterling reputation in the field for which they are selected. Very often, they have already proven themselves to the company or are referred by a trusted colleague. The lawyer's legal talent and skills are essential, but the lawyer must also have a bench strength behind him or her that can get the job done, and be able to bring these resources to bear on client matters in an effective and efficient manner.
For most corporate clients today, matters are large enough to require a team of lawyers to address the needs.

This point is exemplified by the comments of James Gass, vice president, general counsel and corporate secretary of Osram Sylvania, who said, "For me the perfect world would be that we hire each lawyer who works on our matters. But the reality is that we cannot get away from the impact that the firm has on our relationship. Even though we hire the lawyer, that lawyer depends on the law firm staff. And the billing rate of all the lawyers is dictated to some extent by the law firm's rates. The same is true for other details of the retention, such as staffing, expenses, etc. So even in cases where I like a particular lawyer, I struggle to hire that person if he or she is associated with a firm whose costs are too high or whose back-up talent pool is not good enough."
Dennis Schoff, the general counsel of the Lincoln Financial Group, framed hiring the law firm issue succinctly and precisely, saying, "We hire specific legal talent, but a firm can cause us to terminate our relationship with even those lawyers we know and trust -- billing practices, for example, could be a cause for termination."
Both Gass and Schoff clearly identify the lawyer/law firm relationship and the effect the connection can have on selection and retention.
According to the Altman Weil client survey database, which compiles feedback from hundreds of law firm clients, "hiring the lawyer" is still the most important reason for selection. However, over the years, "hiring the law firm" has gone from No. 3 in importance to No. 2 and is only one point behind No. 1.

There are probably several reasons for this, including the following:
• Clients want to make sure that they are working with a well-informed, experienced team, not a lone wolf.

• The whole team must know the client's business, not just the lead lawyer.

• Firm branding and differentiation efforts may be having an effect on the GC's choice.
This raises interesting issues relative to the concept of branding. Along with the tangible, fact-based question of adequate resources, there are the more fluid, intangible issues of image and reputation. Many people -- and especially lawyers -- feel that they are too smart to be influenced by marketing. However, most people, including general counsel, are more influenced by brands than they think they are. This is especially true when the board of directors of the company recognizes the brand of top-tier firms.
If we conclude that general counsel hire both lawyers and the law firm, each firm must concern itself with multiple brands: the firm's overall brand, as well as that of its practice groups and individual lawyers.

This tiered approach to branding -- and influencing purchasing decisions -- is no different than that exemplified by major global corporations. For example, PepsiCo markets its overall brand Pepsi, but also sells many Pepsi varieties (Diet, Caffeine Free, Caffeine Free Diet, etc.) that have been launched from the parent brand and take strength from it. Whether recognized or acknowledged, branding is an underlying influencer when buying a soft drink … or hiring a lawyer.
However, branding is separate from marketing. Lincoln Financial's Schoff made this point clearly when he told me, "I don't really get a great deal out of dealing with a marketing department of a law firm. If I am going to be 'marketed to,' it is best coming from someone I know: the attorney with whom I have a trust relationship."
Smart marketers will recognize the importance of relationships in the hiring equation and find ways to help individual lawyers build personal rapport as well as confidence in the firm.
In some cases, the company's goal is to affiliate itself with a specific law firm. Here, it is the law firm that is hired, and not the lawyer. The lawyer is secondary, albeit important, in the retention decision.
If influence and power are the company's objectives, a well-positioned mega-firm might be the company's choice. A general counsel may select only one or two of these law firm relationships reserved for this special status. In these cases, the general counsel wants the law firm thinking about the company and identifying ways to help advance the client's business. The loyalty factor in these relationships is high and reciprocal. While holding a special status as a legal service provider, these power-broker law firms may not be selected to handle all of the company's legal work.
CONCLUSION
So, do general counsel hire lawyers and not law firms? And if the answer is no or not entirely, then why might this be such a popular mantra for them?

First, this statement puts pressure on the individual lawyer to perform and to ensure that the rest of the members of the firm perform as well. Second, it keeps the message in front of the law firm that which lawyers work on the company's matters is important. Third, it makes the business of law personal -- it puts a face on an impersonal organization.

By having an identified lawyer responsible and accountable for the delivery of high-quality, cost-effective services, GCs can feel a level of comfort that someone, and someone good, is paying attention to their needs. - Anonymous, Male.

Monday, October 10, 2011

My PEARL EARINGS & the GHOST

When we first moved to Charleston, which was at the very beginning of 2003, we moved into the ground floor of a large grey house downtown, a house with a wrought-iron gate that made up for the fact that the kitchen was essentially just a countertop and an oven in the living room, and that the only electrical sockets in the whole apartment were, bizarrely, halfway up the wall.

A few months after we'd moved in, my mother sent me a package containing some pearl earrings. I'd been saying for a while, I guess, that I'd like some pearl earrings, that they might be good for job interviews---my reasoning being, since I was 22, that what I lacked in experience, I could make up for in tasteful jewelry---and so she sent me a pair as a surprise. They arrived in the mail and I wore them for a few months, and then suddenly one day I couldn't find them.

I looked everywhere. I mean, seriously, I looked everywhere. At first, I looked in drawers and cupboards and jewelry boxes and makeup bags, in the obvious places where I could certainly be forgiven for thinking a pair of pearl earrings might hide. Then I got a little desperate and searched the freezer and the garbage cans, between the pages of novels, the barrel of the washing machine, the laundry hamper, the insides of all my shoes. I couldn't understand it: one day I took my pearl earrings off and laid them on my bedside table, the next day they were gone.

The searching went on for two or three weeks, until I finally gave the earrings up for dead. I'd lost them forever, I figured, one of those things you eventually just accept and stop obsessing over. They were great earrings while they lasted, I told myself folornly. Maybe they'd impressed a job interviewer or two.

One morning, about three weeks to the day after I'd first noticed them missing, I got up, made some coffee, and took a shower. Upon entering the bedroom from the bathroom, cucooned in a towel with hair wet and that slight squint particular only to short-sighted people who haven't yet put their contact lenses in, my gaze was immediately---and I can't express how immediately, how urgently---drawn to my bedside table. There sat my pearl earrings, plain as day.

And here's the really weird part: they looked so carefully placed there, so perfectly positioned, like someone had measured the distance between them with a ruler, making sure that both backs faced in the same direction, that both pearls faced forwards. They were at the front of the table, right in the middle, and they looked like they'd been put there, for lack of a better word, lovingly.

It was one of the most surreal and bizarre moments of my entire life. Ten minutes before, I'd woken up and they hadn't been there---hell, for three whole weeks they hadn't been there---and yet mysteriously, while I was in the shower, they'd reappeared.

Sean had left for work early that morning and I called him immediately. "Did you find my earrings?" I asked him. "Did you find them while I was sleeping and put them on my bedside table?" No, he said, he hadn't.

So how had they got there?

That's up to you, Internet; you can decide whatever you want. My own theory is that some sweet Southern belle who'd died years before had needed to borrow something pretty to wear, perhaps because her husband had just passed away and she was about to be reunited with him. I like to think she saw my earrings, thought "ooh, I'll just borrow these for a little while," and then came and put them back---like a good Southern belle would do; in fact, it's a wonder she didn't leave a thank you note on monogrammed stationery---once she was done with them, making sure to leave them in the exact place I'd be sure to find them.

"To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know"

So, feeling a little silly, I said a quick but effusive thank you out loud. I like to think that she heard me. "Curiouser & Curiouser" - Anonymous, Female

Sunday, September 18, 2011

EMOTIONS - A deck of Cards


The water that makes up so much of our bodies is like ocean water. The salt crystals in this water vibrate at ever-changing frequencies. Our hearts are the emotional centers of our bodies, and they put out frequencies that are 10 times the power of the frequencies of our brains.

When we are happy, we vibrate at a higher frequency than when we are angry or sad. Our emotions change the chemical composition of the water in our systems. That's why happy tears taste different than tears of sadness.

Experiencing physical, emotional and mental stillness harmonizes the vibrational output of the body, heart and mind and we become stronger.

The life-force within you is trying flush out all of the stuff which is blocking you from being consciously aware of it. Our problem is, that as the stuff is pushed to the surface of our consciousness, we fear it and we try to push it back down and hold onto it.

This causes an enormous amount of fear and we do not know what is happening to us. The secret is to let go of our inner defenses and let the life-force within do its job without resistance. Just like removing the clouds to allow the sunlight in.

It is our addictions which hold our defenses in place. The feeling you get when you crave a cigarette for example is not because you are addicted to tobacco, it is a feeling of fear and you push it down by having another cigarette. We have many addictions, such as tobacco, eating, talking, sex, exercise, cleaning, shopping and working.

You do not get cancer from cigarette smoking, you get it from the enormous amount of life force you lose trying to hold your defenses in place.
Lose the fear and the defense against it, and you will lose the habit or addiction automatically.


Emotions have the tendency to make you a King or Queen/ & as well it turns you to a no one in seconds. With all the faith, knowledge, realization , awakening, efforts put in & circumstances gone through, I have myself gone through a many, & have been working on myself handling & tackling the so called emotions from a long time,since I was a kid. Then later in my youth, & when I was married till present when I have different set of emotions entangling me. It's not a easy job taking in and letting out Emotions and Here is my take on Emotions & things that I have come across & myself worked upon them for better. Every day has been a new day, & every night has been a new night, For there was not the same evening, and not the same noon, that I came across. It's like a weather that brought storm, & subsided in fractions of time. What I have personally learned from them is that It's me, and no one else, who has to handle these set of emotions that come over & see them as I want too, admire them or reject them with a no no). Happier of the Worst of times, It takes not much long that one can surrender & adjust to it's symptoms.


"As we explore the extraordinary interplay of energies between the many aspects of our personality -- our needs, unconscious reactions, repressed emotions, aspirations and fears -- with the functioning of our physical system and its capacity to maintain itself, we soon realise how very wise the body is. With its intricately detailed systems and operations it portrays infinite intelligence and compassion, constantly giving us the means to understand ourselves further, to confront issues we are not looking at, and to go beyond that which is holding us back."


Our personality likes to be in control. It likes to know how things are and what’s going to happen. Underlying this desire for stability and predictability is a deep fear that the world is a dangerous place. The personality fears it will not survive without continually being on guard.

The truth is: we cannot control what happens in life. And under the natural law of attraction, we tend to attract to us what we focus on. Explore substituting trust for fear and the world becomes a gentler, happier place.

You, and you alone, decide what something means to you. Yet this is a decision that most people make based upon past feelings, experiences, understandings, or future fears. None of this has anything to do with what is going on right here, right now.

When you walk the spiritual path, its like traveling up the side of a mountain. You may fall back one step, only to find you have the strength to walk forward three. But don’t fear, you are always moving in the general direction, which is up.

In reality, we are always gravitating towards God whether we realise this or not.

Stay with yourself, bring yourself to the present moment, maybe by just listening to your breath, maybe by looking at something in the room. Then quietly, softly, give yourself permission to make a new choice if you wish. Embrace a new truth.


"Feel your emotions"

"The key is to not resist or rebel against emotions or to try to get around them by devising all sorts of tricks; but to accept them directly, as they are."

"Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance."

"We have to become more conscious of our feeling-world. By learning to identify the ‘emotional baggage’ and manage our feeling-world reactions, we can view life based on current information instead of being held captive by our past."

"Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge."

- Anonymous, 54, Female, Cochin, India

Saturday, September 3, 2011

FOOD between the Legs

Dating back to months back when, I was visiting to the Hospital to see a family member of mine. One of the relatives had asked me to bring "Dosa" (South Indian Food - Delicacy "is a fermented crepe or pancake made from rice batter and black lentils") from the road side local restaurant (dhaba), on my way to the Hospital. Despite no outside food was allowed from home/outside the Hospital Premises, I agreed (could not have said a No to them). I was cursing my self while proceeding towards the Restaurant to order the same, in a agitative state of my mind, about (how will I carry the same inside the Hospital premises)? The Attendant who had asked me to bring it was diabetic and hungry as well , & hence had no other option left, then to call me and ask me to get the same as soon as possible. Else if the attendant could have shelled out some money could have got it from the Hospital Canteen itself. Anyways, the interesting thing was that I was not carrying any bag to dump the food in it, and hide it completely, so that I was not being questioned what was there in the bag?

I must tell you his South Indian Food is really tempting, and what best if it just comes in 30-40 bugs a plate. First I had asked the guy for Uttapam (a dosa-like dish made by cooking ingredients (urad dal'Urad bean is sometimes referred to as "Black gram". It is the main ingredient of the South Indian dishes: Idli and Dosai' & rice) in a batter.), Dosa, if which one of either two was available and he could cook and hand it to us ASAP. Since I was told to get either of it. This guy started making 2 Uttapam, and on my request I asked him to make Dosa, and not Uttapam.

Not very obvious to my surprise though, it took ten minutes to get the thing ready & pay the person that cooked it for us. Anyways further since there was not carry bag or a pocket that could fit in that big piece of item, I had an idea, that was quite hot though.

Have u ever wondered how does it feel, to have fresh hot cooked food between your legs, hanging just between your legs, popping to and fro. It looked like if I was carrying a post-surgery bag, or I may call it a 'Poop bags' or a Male version of Kangaroo hide bag/pouch(under my kurta "a loose shirt falling either just above or somewhere below the knees of the wearer". tied to my pajama's (loose, lightweight trousers fitted with drawstring waistbands) knot tightly as if it was a popper-scooper. I walked as if I was a "Pocket Penguin series" edition. Walk like a Penguin.

Me being Unnoticed at first, despite having a & getting irritated with such gesture(what the hell I just did), It seemed as if everyone was looking at me, though no one was as evidently as I thought. Walked in Hospital as a penguin and as soon as I reached the floor of the patient's room, I took a breath of relief. The bag kept on banging on my testicles & I could feel the warmth of it all this while.

- Anonymous, 34, Male, India

Monday, August 15, 2011

PRACTICE RELIGION


"Be, Do & Have" "Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you love to do, in order to have what you want."- Margaret Young


I have practiced Religion for over many years as of now! Let me share some insightful thoughts and quotes that have made me stand stronger on my feet, and in my self-realization and realization with God, and it's spirituality, religion and awakening. For many long years I heard people say that they practiced Religion, but I am sure they did not, because if they might have had been doing it correctly ,they would have had a mental peace within themselves, which could never be shattered with any damn thing. Reading books, praying and meditating is not just few of the things that one does and thinks he/she is spiritual enough or abides by a Religion, There is more to it. I practiced Religion, I devoted myself to the books, and the wisdom ,reading between the lines, and trying to understand, and putting in all the dark and the light sides in my day to day life routine. If I have inner peace I am Spiritual, and if I do not have any, I am not Spiritual or have never been touched close by any of the Religions, that I thought I read about or practiced (as simple as that).

Stay with yourself, bring yourself to the present moment, maybe by just listening to your breath, maybe by looking at something in the room. Then quietly, softly, give yourself permission to make a new choice if you wish. Embrace a new truth.

It's a pleasure sharing this in here. I would certainly want people to read it and put it into action. Spread the word.


Many religions tell you to go into the mountains and sit there for years to achieve enlightenment. This is the extremely slow way. You are not interacting with anyone. How can you bring up the negative within you if there are no people around to push your buttons.

This is why being in the world and interacting with other people is the best spiritual practice you can get. Your greatest enemies are your greatest teachers.

If you are tempted to go to the Himalayas to reach enlightenment, forget it. Stay where you are. You will go to higher levels of consciousness by dealing with button pushers all day.

“Meditation means a process of removing all that has been forced upon you so that you can become again a child.”

"There are only two types of people: one, who escape from their loneliness the majority, the ninety-nine point nine percent, who escape from themselves; and the remaining point one percent is the meditator, who says, "If loneliness is a truth, then it is a truth; then there is no point in running away from it. It is better to go into it, encounter it, see it face to face, what it is. - Osho

Your ego is your judge. Your ego is your jury. And your ego is your executioner. In other words, its the only thing that causes problems in your life.

Decide for today that you will refrain from judging others. See each person as a beautiful creation of God, no matter what your differences. Choose to see Oneness instead, and the eternal connectedness that the Love of God gives us. See everyone in Love. It will raise your vibration, even if only for one day; but once you have been there, you will want to go back to feel it again & again because it is your own freedom.

Find peace within your heart today. It is there, hiding behind the illusions of... fear. Your level of peace is a good gauge for where your connection to God/Source is at any moment. When you find peace in the chaos, you know that you are deeply connected to God.

When you have anxiety, you know that you may have lost that connection, or perhaps your "signal" is low. Go within to boost your connection. You will know you are fully connected by the level of peace that you feel.- Sherri Lane

We who are alive in this extraordinary time are witnessing a revolution in humanity's consciousness, and in its experience of itself. In fact, we are creating it.

If you imagine that you are your body, you will experience Life as an expression of the body. When you understand that you are your soul, then you will experience Life as an expression of the soul.- Neale Donald Walsh

We say We are always right, and we at times are wrong, Yes I do understand that the same imply's for the God, We often blame him for certain things, at times, and then we say, It must be God's wish. What about us/we? We do mistakes, do we rectify them? God does rectifies his mistakes, if he does any. God is God, you cant question him, right? At times we are in a worst of a situation and in the best one. We find ourselves in a situation when our dreams don’t come true, no matter how hard we worked for it. We often face out loved ones die in our arms, and we are in a situation we cant help. We cry and ask God Why? Well maybe God never wanted your loved one to suffer, and wanted you to be strong enough to change the lifestyle you had been living, and now changing it to the best possible way, For the person that lived(the one you loved) had no other choice left, and had to go. God say’ be brave my child, (ascertaining that Life is a cycle of Birth & Death, and all manifestations and materialistic approaches are the ones that grow and end in here.) The dreams we dream are too away from the actions we do, and the effort we put in. We are not in content with what we have, and if at times if it is so, that we are, we have nothing to fear, no loss. Troubles are part of life, but most important is to face them.

"Who does not thank for little will not thank for much."- Estonian proverb

Know that contentment is never found by adding anything, but is found by subtracting whatever is artificial and illusory.- Vernon Howard

Religion is not in the books, Spirituality is not a Lifestyle until unless one sees the light and the path and understands the worst and learns the best out of it. You do not see certain things (God) for that matter and presume, assume them to be there, You again as per self-convenience, judgement and thought process place it with the happenings in your life. Right and Wrong is not the question, here that is asked for(Yes we all question God), but have we ever answered to what God has always, ever asked us?

If you want guarantees in life, then you don't want life. You want rehearsals for a script that's already been written. Life by its nature cannot have guarantees, or its whole purpose is thwarted. - Anonymous, Male, India

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

PARENT-PRESSURE

Well where to start from. It seems regardless ,pointless and yet very peculiar & unsorted. One realizes certain things,as one grows up all together. Parents will be always the same, if they differ, lucky would be the kids. School going, or a College kid, unmarried, married, single, no matter how old - for parents you are all the same all the time. They need to know where to draw a line and to what extent they can, and they should, and should not. Are the lines only for the kids. What about the parents. Why every day or an alternative day has to be a problem for Parents and kids? Why it cant go smooth.

It's not about being a single parent or a single child, it happens with everyone everywhere, all the time. You try to be over protective and at times much curious with one's perceptions and misunderstandings in a misguided way.- May be it's also the generation gap, and the peer pressure, society ,relatives and the surroundings, upbringing, and other pros and cons which add fuel to the whole episode drama.

Why do parents always think there child is a kid , and will always be the same. Until unless you get married and give them a kid, you wont be a man in there eyes. Once you are married you will be facing a whole new set of different dramatized version of issues.

We grow up with certain norms and conditions and we not always abide by them, but yes we often at times try to abide by. & anything that is a burden is unwillingly appreciated and done over with (no choice). No matter how hard you work on yourself and try to be the way your parents want you to be, doing things what they want you to, and the way they want it to be precisely. With several no's to what they tell you, to the most of the yes' and still deprived of appreciation and locked in self with no one coming to ones rescue. trapped in a body and mind, heart all conjured and restless and seeking help from the inner soul and God. With the one life you have, we still have to ought to, share it with the society, relatives, and people around the known and the strangers. Why it just cant be about you and me, us, why it has to be about everyone.

Why is it all the time about, grow up, be like others, why cant one be like the way one is, accept it or reject it, the way one is, why one needs to change one, and bring about change, certainly change is good if it is for good, one understand that, but if it is leading you to an emotional imbalance , with other things in ones mind, and one needs to break free- break - out with all of it, where would one go. If one could not confide with ones parents ,one would only confide in oneself all the time, leading to explore into a emotional outburst. With all the positive feelings and the negative ones in ones mind,one cant curse on to ones parents. One can only curse him/her self. No matter, how much we grow , we will be a kid. & shall always be filtered and balanced and compete, compared with the other kids.

Who are you being friends with, why do your friends come and stay at ur place, Why do you spent a night out with friends? What does your friend do, Handover your friends number and address of your so called friend. Do you drink, smoke, grass? Are you normal? or is there any problem with you? Are you sexually fit? Is your orientation normal? These are some of the major issues that you will always see on your parents face? asking you for more every time, and digging on to you with a annoying face, curious and perturbed attitude. Well Far better are those who stay away from family and live there life independently and are spoilt doing whatever they want too, whenever they want too. Unaware are the parents ,unsure of what company there child is surrounded in. Getting up and sleeping the time they want, eating whatever, doing any damn thing there way. with no obligations and restrictions to be imposed upon or questioned. Why one has to be friends with relatives (the ones you dont like and never want to be friends with) & why cant one be friends with the friends we choose.Why you have to be a sweet face to everyone you are told you have to be with, and you cant be the real you, the way you are or want too be with anyone, everyone you want.

One at times feel better to end ones life in such a misery, if one cant confide and clear out the misunderstandings with ones parents despite being a genuinely decent good child . Is this world full of formalities that one needs to show off, and make it so obviously fake to there parents, instead of being true. Why would parents believe when you tell them a lie, and why would they not believe you when you would be true to them and speak up. I strongly believe parents need a counseling at times more then the kids. But why would one need a third person to tell them about it, and why would it not be parent and child face to face sorting the issues, and clearing the doubts, but what good it would be if one would not even believe and trust all the genuine stories you tell them, and you would be the one always pointed a finger upon, no matter how good you be, and they would take you to be bad always. You are also told change your hairstyle, wear this, wear that.God let the kid grow, if you keep telling him what he/she needs to he/she will never grow. Let the kid be the way one has too, you cant take out a characteristic feature of a human soul .One will be the way one is and you cant help it by any means. We all understand grow up into a good and bad person by constantly being told how to and what to do, but too much of pointing on on almost everything, would let one go away and cause more despair and chaos. Parents grow up please.- Anonymous

Thursday, June 30, 2011

FITTING-IN


For the whole of my life, I've lived with my mum, dad, sister and my grandparents. My mum had a car crash at 18 and so my rich grandparents built a house on the end of theirs for us to live in. My grandmother has always hated my Dad, always at each others throat, it made everyone's life difficult until he died in November. she was always very mothering to me and my sister but recently me and my sister have taken the place of her hatred for my dad. I watch my mum sitting there watching TV everyday, doing nothing with her life and i feel so hopeless. I've felt detached from my friends for months now, I've lost motivation to go out, I've always smoked but now it makes me feel ill when I don't have one, same as when i do. I argue with her constantly because she gives away my dad's things as birthday presents to people when they come round or for Xmas. I used to be able to sit in my room for hours and feel ok, but now I feel so bored and depressed the whole time, even when I go out it is not as fun as it used to be. my sister is never home now she has a car and she is the only one i have now really. On the school front things aren't going well either, I used to get good grades but now I am in 11th grade and I'm failing because I missed out year 10 after falling into hospital with a kidney disease. before year 10, everything was normal. I was happy (to a certain extent) but now I live in a broken home, broken family, distant friends, a dull future. I go to an all boys school so I don't have many close girl friends who I can talk to about this and this is not the kinda thing you talk to boy friends about. the sun is shining outside but I'm inside, everyones hanging out in town but it seems pointless to go there. I've seen a counselor before but they just sit there at just repeat everything you've said before which is stupid and I cant go on depression pills because the bad side effects would ruin my upcoming exams! I just don't know what to do, is there any escape?


People judge me all the time but I know they are unenlightened. I keep on trying to get my ideas out there regardless. When the phone rings I feel like I don't even want to pick it up anymore because it just another blah blah blah conversation about petty things in life.

Where is the cooperative, sustainable society that I was looking for? Am I ahead of my time? I see know that I am not an alien but like I said I feel like one. There is only a little common sense in the world.

I get on here because I feel like I don't fit in. I put this under social issues because I believe many people on here feel this way. I get so disillusioned. I am going to explain in depth how I feel. I am posting this here because where else do you go when you feel like an alien in a very very strange world?

My sister and one of my friends is the only one who understands. I tried to talk to 3 of my friends about some of the issue going on like the shooter incident, dead birds and fishes but they just skip over that like I never said it. They start talking about really petty things like oh some person said this to me or whatever.

They will start talking about really petty things like oh some person said this to me or whatever.

I feel like most people would rather see someone suffer than equal out the imbalances in our society. I am just afraid that my fear of rejection from people leads to my apprehensiveness to be close to people and trust them and I might lose out on some great people.- Anonymous (Male)

Seeds of HOPE


Two weeks ago my boyfriend moved away and I didn't want to go with him because he said I needed to get a job, and I can't work because I'm too afraid of being around people. I feel like it's getting worse. When I go outside I get sweaty and I become confused about where I am, and I thought my boyfriend understood that.

I loved him the first year I met him, but the other two years I only stayed with him because I was so used to him. I'm a dependent person, and I know it's wrong to be that way but I can't help it. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost inside myself, and I tried to get help but I don't want to take those stupid drugs. I don't want to be transformed into a robot.

I have so much faith in God, but I guess not enough. I talk to him almost every night before I go to bed, and I start to cry because I don't want to be on earth any more. I want to go to heaven and be in peace. This may sound crazy but it's how I feel and no one understands me. I just want to be loved for who I am. - Anonymous (Male)

I felt SO LOST


I left my husband 3 years ago and when I left him I was 8 months pregnant. I left him b/c he did not want to work and he was doing drugs. Right after I left him he meets a girl. He also moved out his mom house and moved in with friends. His friends are always partying and drinking. Since these 3 years have went by so many things have happened. We have always been seeing each other and we still had sex with each other, but he has never ever been there for my daughter. My daughter does not even know her own father. So during these 3 years whenever he needed something I was there for him. I would drop all my plans just to spend time with him. The whole time he kept me a secret. He would see me whenever he needed something or just wanted to see me. He did not look for me for a good 9 months or so. Finally when he started to look for me was when I got my own house back in August 2010. When we finally saw each other again in September 2010. Once again was just for sex b/c right after he got lost again and did not see me till one month and a half later. Then once we saw each other again I told him that I still loved him and I wanted to be with him, he told me the same. He made me believe that I was the only person he was sleeping with. So I finally we said we were going to try to work things out. So he was still staying at his friends house. He would only look for me every like other week. But I always wanted to believe that I was his only one. Finally on November 2010 he gets put in jail. I did not know till one month later. Once I see him in jail he tells me that he loves me and that when we got out he wanted to be a family. And also that he wanted to marry me again b/c he wanted to start our life over. So I was like okay and I asked him time and time again if he was talking to any girl, or if anyone had wrote to him and he promised that no one has wrote to him or anything. So I believed him once again. I been their ever since, I visit him, I send him money; I try to help him and whatever I can. Recently I looked at his myspace and found comments that said… I miss you, I love you etc. then I look at his best friends myspace and I read a comment from a girl asking if he found my husband address. This girl was the girl he met while I was pregnant and he always promised me he had nothing to do with her. Not only that I find out that she has wrote to him. Then I look at her pictures on myspace and I see of pictures of her on my husband bed? And also found out this girl is pregnant. So when my husband called me I told him everything I found out. He was just left out of words. He did not know what to say or anything. He says he loves me. And he still says he had nothing to do with this girl. But why if she is pregnant and he so say she (has a bf) why would she be looking for him? I never knew at that point of time if I should have given him a chance or finally move on with my life? But yes I did what I felt I should have. - Anonymous

On a LEAVE of Absence


I'm going to try to not make this extremely long. But I just feel so lost lately and i imagine I'm not the only one in this type of situation but I just don't know how to stop feeling so bad.

I'm 26, almost 27. i graduated from a good college with honors in 2010 (BA in history). (majored in education for a little bit though). But I had no idea what I wanted to do - figured out I didn't want to be a teacher. when I graduated, that's when the economy started to worsen and it was hard to find a job. so I took an office job where i worked as a student at my college. the pay is fine for a first job. but it's not a career. I quickly got bored and looked for a way out. I applied and got into a MS program at another college for a degree in school counseling. I tried that out last semester (2011) and realized. no way, counseling not for me. I'm way too emotional and I don't want to work with students who have problems and i don't want to think about my own problems more then I need to and I don't want to go home thinking about depressed students, etc. I also think i really rushed into applying because I just was desperate.

so right now I am on a "leave of absence" from that grad program - I probably won't go back though. I am back to my job of working full time, and i like the job more than I used to, but still it's not a career. i did talk to someone about how i am interested in more responsibility, moving up, etc. but it's not a job with passion.

so, i don't know where to go from here. i feel like i am empty because i don't have something i am working toward or know what i want or anything. i mean at this point i know that i am very passionate about learning about history, i love reading fiction and historical fiction, and non fiction books. i do not like to write.

my boyfriend is following his dream in the film industry and he is finally getting somewhere - going to work on a show with a lot of interesting travel and he writes every day, it drives him. i don't have that and watching him have that makes me feel even more empty.

I have ideas of what to do but i feel frozen and scared to act. Taking non-credit classes to find out my interests or applying for other graduate programs. I could try to apply for jobs (open to all other ideas) I could just sit tight working here and try to move up where I am.

All of these are decent options i think, but even though i have them in my head i don't know how to stop feeling so bad.

I keep telling myself I'm so young i don't have to figure my life out now - but I want to. it's hard to live so vaguely. (side note, i do appreciate that i have had a job since I graduated and have been earning money steadily - i know others have not been so lucky.) - Anonymous

Friday, June 17, 2011

EXPERIMENTING'Sexual Curiosity


Yesterday someone asked me if I was straight/gay/bi and I said I was straight because I'm out with this girl which I do truly love with all my heart and alway will do. And he made me check up naked girls and naked guys on all the web images. I liked the naked guys. But this morning I now like the naked girls. And think the guys are sick. What the hell is going on to me? I always thought I was straight, always hoped I was. So can someone tell me what the hell is going on?Well,obviously confused.I don't think that human sexuality can easily be categorized into neat labels.Basically,you like what you like.Just because you've been aroused by naked men doesn't mean that you're gay or 'bi'... I suspect that this is fairly common amongst heterosexual males.Another things is that you're very young and you're probably beginning to become more aware of your sexuality.Try not to worry about labeling yourself-you're unique,just like anyone else as regard sexual preference/likes/dislikes.in the words of Carlos Mencia " if u think that your gay then you are gay, thats his opinion but just be straight u won't get made fun of.Why does it have to only be straight/gay/bi? If you haven't had sex yet, you're a virgin. What's wrong with that option? Nothing. Heck it's the perfect answer for any age. Is it possible that you just admired those naked men? There's nothing wrong with that. Your eyes are blessed with sight and there's nothing wrong with noticing beauty. It could have been that the nakedness got you excited not the sexual identity of the people. There's nothing wrong with a naked body. What's wrong are the impure thoughts people have when they look at nakedness. The person who asked you to look at porn was in the wrong and sounds like they are looking at you with sex in mind. Run sweetheart. That's not a friend. If you wanna do a search on porn, search how many lives it is ruining.No matter whatever your age is, I say don't worry about your sexuality at your age. I was going through the same thing at your age, just don't let it get to you. Nobody is going to care if your gay or straight, ok some people might care, but those people are idiots who need to get a grip on life. The only thing you should be worrying about is your school work and your responsibilities. You have a girlfriend, and you truly love her. I had a girlfriend and I loved her too, but when it came down to it she fully accepted me for who I was and am today when I came out of the closet. Your true friends and family won't care weather you are gay, straight or bi. You have years before you even have to worry about having a sexual relationship. And its true; if you don't know, we don't either. And your probably just curious, so don't worry!At 14 your body is going through some heavy changes. It is releasing all sorts of hormones and things, simply put you are in puberty. I did it, my friends did it, it is very normal. You will find girls attractive, and you will find boys attractive. At this stage of the game it isn't am I gay or Straight, it is normal. Many guys do it, I've looked at the guys in the locker room, and online to see what the other guy has, it's curiosity. Some guys even get into sex with each other, it's experimenting. Sometimes called a circle jerk, guys will sit around and whip it out to see who was bigger who came first and how much. Just relax and enjoy life, maybe you will experiment? maybe not. Most of the times as the guy gets older and his hormones steady themselves he will realize that he wants women, sometimes he will decide he wants to be with guys. And even sometimes you just never make up your mind and sleep with whatever sex is handy at the time. Just right now don't sweat it. Being bi could have it's benefits. It increases your chance of a date on Saturday night.You are young, please don't be bothered about how you felt, it's normal. It's OK you are growing up and discovering your sexuality. You are normal, you maybe confused but I can guarantee 99% of people your age are feeling the same.Ur curious. doubt you are gay. people get aroused in many different ways and to be honest I get turned on by girl on girl. have tried it and liked it yet know i that i would only ever date a bloke. maybe the blokes turned u on for the fact that it was all to do with sex and at at some point, a lot get turned on by anything even more so when the thought of sex is involved so do not worry. look around the boys in your year would u like to take them on a date and when you answer that u answer your question. good luck.I have a lot of gay friends. They say they always knew they were straight. If you are worrying about what you are, odds are you are straight. You don't have to be gay or bi to appreciate a man's or a woman's body. You're full of hormones. Either way, you will be fine. Don't make others define you. Life is a journey and you're in the early stages of discovery. So don't freak out.just because you are sexually attracted to a naked males body doesn't mean that you are gay or bi, it just means that something in your brain is triggered that makes you sexually excited. screw what people say or think just do what makes you happy.At first, you have to know the fact that what is gay, bi or straight? Whether you are gay or straight or bisexual it depends on the sexual orientation. Not your general behaviors. Well is part of discovering. Don't worry a label isn't needed to fit into society. You'll find out as time goes by. - AnonymousYesterday someone asked me if I was straight/gay/bi and I said I was straight because I'm out with this girl which I do truly love with all my heart and alway will do. And he made me check up naked girls and naked guys on all the web images. I liked the naked guys. But this morning I now like the naked girls. And think the guys are sick. What the hell is going on to me? I always thought I was straight, always hoped I was. So can someone tell me what the hell is going on?

Well,obviously confused.I don't think that human sexuality can easily be categorized into neat labels.Basically,you like what you like.Just because you've been aroused by naked men doesn't mean that you're gay or 'bi'... I suspect that this is fairly common amongst heterosexual males.Another things is that you're very young and you're probably beginning to become more aware of your sexuality.Try not to worry about labeling yourself-you're unique,just like anyone else as regard sexual preference/likes/dislikes.

in the words of Carlos Mencia " if u think that your gay then you are gay, thats his opinion but just be straight u won't get made fun of.

Why does it have to only be straight/gay/bi? If you haven't had sex yet, you're a virgin. What's wrong with that option? Nothing. Heck it's the perfect answer for any age. Is it possible that you just admired those naked men? There's nothing wrong with that. Your eyes are blessed with sight and there's nothing wrong with noticing beauty. It could have been that the nakedness got you excited not the sexual identity of the people. There's nothing wrong with a naked body. What's wrong are the impure thoughts people have when they look at nakedness. The person who asked you to look at porn was in the wrong and sounds like they are looking at you with sex in mind. Run sweetheart. That's not a friend. If you wanna do a search on porn, search how many lives it is ruining.

No matter whatever your age is, I say don't worry about your sexuality at your age. I was going through the same thing at your age, just don't let it get to you. Nobody is going to care if your gay or straight, ok some people might care, but those people are idiots who need to get a grip on life. The only thing you should be worrying about is your school work and your responsibilities. You have a girlfriend, and you truly love her. I had a girlfriend and I loved her too, but when it came down to it she fully accepted me for who I was and am today when I came out of the closet. Your true friends and family won't care weather you are gay, straight or bi. You have years before you even have to worry about having a sexual relationship. And its true; if you don't know, we don't either. And your probably just curious, so don't worry!

At 14 your body is going through some heavy changes. It is releasing all sorts of hormones and things, simply put you are in puberty. I did it, my friends did it, it is very normal. You will find girls attractive, and you will find boys attractive. At this stage of the game it isn't am I gay or Straight, it is normal. Many guys do it, I've looked at the guys in the locker room, and online to see what the other guy has, it's curiosity. Some guys even get into sex with each other, it's experimenting. Sometimes called a circle jerk, guys will sit around and whip it out to see who was bigger who came first and how much. Just relax and enjoy life, maybe you will experiment? maybe not. Most of the times as the guy gets older and his hormones steady themselves he will realize that he wants women, sometimes he will decide he wants to be with guys. And even sometimes you just never make up your mind and sleep with whatever sex is handy at the time. Just right now don't sweat it. Being bi could have it's benefits. It increases your chance of a date on Saturday night.

You are young, please don't be bothered about how you felt, it's normal. It's OK you are growing up and discovering your sexuality. You are normal, you maybe confused but I can guarantee 99% of people your age are feeling the same.

Ur curious. doubt you are gay. people get aroused in many different ways and to be honest I get turned on by girl on girl. have tried it and liked it yet know i that i would only ever date a bloke. maybe the blokes turned u on for the fact that it was all to do with sex and at at some point, a lot get turned on by anything even more so when the thought of sex is involved so do not worry. look around the boys in your year would u like to take them on a date and when you answer that u answer your question. good luck.

I have a lot of gay friends. They say they always knew they were straight. If you are worrying about what you are, odds are you are straight. You don't have to be gay or bi to appreciate a man's or a woman's body. You're full of hormones. Either way, you will be fine. Don't make others define you. Life is a journey and you're in the early stages of discovery. So don't freak out.

just because you are sexually attracted to a naked males body doesn't mean that you are gay or bi, it just means that something in your brain is triggered that makes you sexually excited. screw what people say or think just do what makes you happy.

At first, you have to know the fact that what is gay, bi or straight? Whether you are gay or straight or bisexual it depends on the sexual orientation. Not your general behaviors. Well is part of discovering. Don't worry a label isn't needed to fit into society. You'll find out as time goes by. - Anonymous

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

COMPLEX LOOKS


I am a 24 yr old guy from Kashmir. And all my life I have been complexed about how I looked, when compared to people I knew. I had an issue since when I was a kid. Felt like I am from the other planet. I was not handsome and tall like the other guys. I was cute though and fair enough but still had punchy belly and heavy chest (breasted like women). & this thing lead me deeper and deeper into self consciousness and complex nature. Well I thought about going for injections and height increase therapies and diets etc. But guess as the time passed from school to college and youth age, I was busy with so many things around me that I could not work on the things, & never had anyone with whom I could discuss all this and take it any further. I was short, little bulged . & If it would just had been my belly it would have just worked good for me, but the male breasts have made my hide inside my cocoon & has actually hampered my mixing with the world around me, socially and mentally hindering my very self to an extent of becoming one loner. No sports, no activities by and large. It made me so very self confined that I could not mix-up well with the so called classmates friends, and nor the relatives or society as it should have been. I have not given it any effort though, like thinking to go and consult a doctor and get some treatment done etc. Well I guess if you have a problem, you need a solution and you need to self it for yourself or ask someone to do that for you. If you could not discuss some issues with your folks, you would need to to that with someone at least. I guess I could not find anyone meanwhile being so busy with other chores of life. From schooling to college and then the life at present.This has made me loose interest in myself though I struggle hard to look good and carry myself well. Still the fact that I am short height-ed and little bulky makes me different from the rest of the lot. Well and we all know it don't we that looks matter. No matter what you say or do, what's your age or whosoever you are. If you got good decent average looks, and normal height and body structure you would be admired, and if not admired at least not look down upon. I don't know if I would be able to do something about it. Just need a way to work it all up. It effects my sexual life along with my mental,emotional and social life, pertaining to uncomfortable and complexes. - Anonymous

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Small Package-Big Ego


This past Christmas I had to go to dinner over at my in laws. Lately, my husband's sister and I have been getting close so I told her how I felt about having no regard towards my husband's sister in law who happens to be practically living with my in-laws. That's only because when my husband and I were still dating, she got on my case as to why was I always baking cookies or making cupcakes and bringing them over all the time. First of all, my boyfriend now husband and I, happen to be really great friends who lost contact with each other and when we met again, we got together. You bet I felt we were destined. I was overwhelmed with happiness and joy, I couldn't help but did all those spur of the moment, out-of-love, things. So as I was saying, I was telling my husband's sister about it and the unthinkable happened. During Christmas dinner, where the whole family and friends were over, my in laws were saying grace to the table and they just so innocently prayed that all daughter in laws and son in laws should be blessed to get a long. I was like WTF? This is a Christmas Dinner and they take on the roll like they're all righteous to judge something that they didn't even have the decency to ask??? I'm so mad.

Sorry if a loser like myself is bothering you right now, but if you don't mind I would like some advice. Now, I don't hate myself. I just hate my life and the people that exist in it. I just feel like God just tries his best to screw up my life. I remember a time when each morning as I woke up I'd think to myself:"Oh no! Not yet another day!"I'd prefer to fall back to sleep again and never wake up.Back.

Help! I hate my life. I can't get anything going right.- No - Anonymous , Female (Age: 26-30), Africa

Positive'QUITTING


I'm a big believer in quitting. I think it's a good thing. You should do more of it. Yes, I did say quitting and yes I did say you should do more of it!

Sound odd? I'm not surprised. Maybe it's that neat-o 'survival instinct' of yours kicking in. Or maybe after years and years of hearing the old saw 'A winner never quits and a quitter never wins' you came to believe it. After all, since we were very young, 'quitting' has been defined as something negative. Real life, however, shows us that quitting is very often a positive force in our lives.

Employ the power of positive quitting. Most of us view quitting as something negative, but it’s not. ‘Winners never quit,’ we’re told, when, in reality, winners quit all the time: choosing to stop doing things that aren’t creating the results they desire. When you quit all the things that aren’t working for you, when you quit tolerating all the negative things that hold you back, you’ll create a positive ‘charge’ in your life as well as create the space in your life for more positive experiences.

I like thinking of possibilities. At any time, an entirely new possibility is liable to come along and spin you off in an entirely new direction. The trick, I've learned, is to be awake to the moment.

Persons and societies do not submit passively to surroundings and events. They make choices as to the places where they live and the activities in which they engage -- choices based on what they want to be, to do and to become. Furthermore, persons and societies often change their goals and ways; they can even retrace their steps and start in a new direction if they believe they are on a wrong course. Thus, whereas animal life is prisoner of biological evolution which is essentially irreversible, human life has the wonderful freedom of social evolution which is rapidly reversible and creative. Wherever human beings are concerned, trend is not destiny.

If you can quit few things, you'll be creating positive action in your life. But you have to quit first. It's a simple idea most of us overlook: To really be a winner, you have to be able to stop doing stuff that's not good for you!

A story I wanted to share...

A man sat at a metro station in Washington, DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.

During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32.

When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theatre in Boston and the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.

The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour:

Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Remember to listen, Remember to smell, Remember to see, Remember to feel, Remember to stop, Time goes so quickly.

May the days ahead bring magical moments, And may we be conscious enough to recognize them.

So quit waiting... and take action. - Anonymous,29, Female, Washington D.C

Monday, June 6, 2011

BLAME-Game


I remember myself experiencing a lot of resentment because I had not been the one to create the problem. It was not my fault this was happening. It was not my fault this was true. And of course it was not my fault. In truth, it is no one's fault. However, the inadequacies, anxieties and false beliefs had created many of my problems. Problems being of course my own and others as well. Finally a light bulb went off in my head. If I stopped blaming for everything, then I did not have to stay helpless for the rest of my life. I then and there realized, It doesn't matter how much of a mess someone else has created; you can clean up the mess in your world so you feel good. Emotional health is worth the effort. I was finally at ease,

There were those simple things, and the worse ones too (bigger lot). From stupid excuses, explanations to a high potency ones.

I could feel it happening around me and with me/against me occurring insidiously sometimes even without words when you sense depression or anxiety. Feeling resentments and regrets assuming you are the cause or vice-versa.

This thing has always happened with me and the other person I was addressed by, while being completely strangers or closely known. It happens all the time. The people who are your's would listen to you calmly, and never fight, on the contrary will talk about it in the best possible way to sort it all out.

I am trying to quit getting blamed and blaming other's and have been moderately successful at weaning it down to some extent myself. However, without much forethought, I still find myself picking it up at times when I am tired or feeling sorry for myself. The blame game is addictive.

It does not mean that one should let self be taken advantage of or accept things that one has the ability to change. It also does not mean that one accepts wrong actions or live with resignation. One should concede that other people, things, and events do not have control over you. You accept control and responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions—things that are under your control.

Implicit in this new-found power of control is that you may not be perfect and may, in some ways, need to change. Change is most often positive and what, on the surface, might seem to be failure, is actually an important step toward your success. To stop blaming means that you must judge others favorably. We do this by first empathizing, externalizing, and making excuses for others. Finally, try to view your problems as situations that you can explain, rather than complain and blame.

Some people blame because they just want to prove there self right, & some people don't want to even listen to what they are being told, cleared up the things. It's not alway that you are blaming them, but it's a circumstance that you might just be clearing out certain things, that would sound hard, rude and not acceptable on the other side. Whether or not there be any reason behind it, one does it (1) all because of ego ,attitude and self prestige at stake, Not accepting self guilt or fault (2) Clearing the misunderstanding and being back to normal. Emotionally and Mentally sorting it out for a beneficial peaceful result. Its when there two are face to face, it's like one is saying and other is listening, or both would be fighting. But the one who knows that whatever happened was for no good, despite knowing the fact that the other side(person) reacted exaggerated to it in a way, that one could not take it anymore. One would but an end to the blame game. One would be at peace with oneself situationally, but would know that the person who blamed and fought on a mere issue unworthy of such situation has drawn both far from each other emotionally and mentally.

Understanding reasons is one of the things that will help one deal with blamers. By drawing our/their attention to the real reasons behind our/their behavior most of them will realize they were wrong and will stop throwing the blame on others. Else if they have blame-game on there agenda on cards itself, it can solve no purpose.

People blame others because of several reasons: Loss of control: Some people panic when they lose control of a situation and so they try to restore the sense of being in control by blaming others!! So behind blame fear might exist!!
Controlling you: Some people try to control others by blaming them and making them feel that they are bad. If someone desperately wants you to do something he might use blame as one of the methods to change your behavior. Labeling you selfish, arrogant or snob by friends is one of the common methods for controlling others using blame. They learned it from their parents: Some parents have failed to teach their children how to take responsibility for their actions and so they grew up as adults who blame others whenever something bad happens. Refusing to admit that they are responsible: Some people can’t admit failures and mistakes so they blame others for them in order to escape the responsibility. One common example is saying "I was late because the streets were crowded" instead of admitting that you should have taken the traffic jam into account Unable to accept what happened: People blame others when they fail to accept something that happened. Had those people learned how to properly accept events they would have never blamed others

Blaming others and feelings helpless: People who blame others usually try to hide their feelings of helplessness. If they didn’t blame anyone they would admit that they are not in control and that there is nothing they can do. By blaming others the helpless person takes the position of the accuser and feels more in control.

In some situations its OK to blame others if they were really responsible and if blaming them was going to prevent similar mistakes in the future but in most cases you must learn how to take responsibility of your actions and be in control of your life so that you don’t blame innocent people.

Lots of relationships end with breakups and lots of fights happen between close friends just because of the blame game. People usually start to blame each other when problems arise or when they find themselves unable to deal with a certain challenge.

The problem with blaming others is that it removes away intimacy and provides a good environment for seeds of hatred to grow between people.

Understanding the blame game: You might be thinking that people blame each other because of the mistakes they do or the actions they take but the truth is very much different than this. People usually start to blame each other when they become afraid and when they find themselves losing control.

Its the fear of losing control that is behind the blame game. when someone finds himself facing a big problem that he can barely deal with he starts to become afraid of what might happen. This fear eventually turns into a powerful energy that can only be released through blaming others. Some people start to blame others more often when they have a bad day or when they are feeling bad and they usually blame people who are not responsible at all for what is happening to them.

Before you start blaming anyone for anything that happened ask yourself:
I) Is he/she the reason I am feeling bad? or is it just another unsolved problem am facing? II) Am I having a bad day? III) Am I afraid?

once you answer these questions you will know if you really have the right to blame that person or not, and what you will find in most cases is that the other person should not be blamed at all and that its just your bad mode that is making you feel that way.

If you are looking for someone to blame then its your bad mood that should be blamed. Its your fears, you lack of control and your worries that should be blamed. Its your life problems that caused you such emotions that should be blamed. Its your helplessness and lack of life skills that should be blamed and not the other people.

I am not asking you to stop blaming people but i am just asking you to find the real things that should be blamed and then deal with them.

Understanding Yourself and others: Long ago I had big self understanding issues nowadays it takes me less than ten minutes to know at least eight personality traits of a person i just met. The first impression someone forms of me may be something like, “he is a nice guy” or “I like his shirt” while my first impression about him is usually a deep understanding of his personality, to the extent that I might discover things about him that his close friends doesn't know.

The factors are: one's personality,background and values. If you were able to determine some of these variables at your first meeting with someone then you will not only be able to understand him but you will even be able to predict his next move. The music that you listen to, the way you walk, the way you talk, your body language, your face features, your doodling, your hand writing and everything else that is related to you reflects hidden parts of your personality. By learning how to look for those clues and how to interpret them you will get this superior self understanding of others and of yourself.

Knowing exactly what is bothering you instead of feeling bad without knowing why. This in turn will allow you to take the first step towards happiness. Not feeling lost because you will know exactly where you fit in life. Whether it’s a career or a relationship, you will be able to know where you should go. A solid understanding of others, the more you understand yourself the more will you understand others. For example if you understood where self confidence comes from you will know what lack of confidence feels like and you will be able to understand shyness even more. Fewer bad moods, I am not saying that self understanding will solve your problems but it will help you feel better instead of feeling that you are fighting an enemy that you don’t know

This list could have been much bigger but i didn't want to make the article any longer, i am sure you now know the benefits of self understanding, allowing you to have a solid self understanding.

-

Who do we blame?
Remember in school when you would be sitting in class and the teacher would be giving the lesson, when you and a friend would be talking with each other and the teacher stops and looks at the both of you and scolds you both? Most of the time your friend pointed his finger at you and would say, "He kept talking to me!" Wow! What a way to shift the blame so he wouldn't look bad.

Why do we blame others? We tend to blame others so that we do not look bad. We have a tendency to shift the blame when something hasn't gone quite right People don't realize they are acting the part of a hypocrite when they judge another person by pointing the finger.

I was at a function one time and there were a couple of men. One was in line behind me (we were in line for a buffet) and he was pointing his finger at another gentleman that was taking more than his share. He said, "Because of him there won't be anything left of the apple crisp!" I reminded him that he too had taken more than his share of cake at a function, and as a result a little girl get to have any cake.

"Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." When it comes time to accept the blame don't try to shift the blame over to someone else, or don't, as it is more commonly said, "pass the buck to someone else."

Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden is a classic example of pointing the finger at the other person. Genesis 3:9-13 tells us this: "And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Now here in verse 12 you can picture Adam shifting his feet, moving his eyes, and starting to sweat bullets and probably swallowing really hard because he knows he messed up, that he dropped the ball. So what does he do? Let's look at verse 12 again, "the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat." Looks like Adam is trying to shift the blame onto one other besides the woman. Adam says, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me." It's almost like he's saying, "You know God it's partly your fault because you gave me this woman." I don't think it would fly though. Continuing on to verse 13 we find: "And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Now it's her turn to point the finger as if to say, "Hey God the creepy little creature tricked me so don't go getting on me." Wow! What an example of shifting the blame.

Are we just trying to cover our sin by blaming others to make ourselves look good? When people try to hide the fact that they messed up by blame shifting, they only dig themselves a little deeper into an ugly situation.

Psalm 32:3-4 tells us that, "When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah."

Meaning: When we try to hide our transgressions and shirt the blame to another, the conviction is quite heavy, "thy hand was heavy upon me." The Psalmist goes on to say in verse 5, "I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah." I remember my friend's son who ate a whole one pound bag of M&Ms. I believe they were the holiday kind. Anyway, he asks his son if he ate the candy and of course his son totally denied eating any of it. He then blamed it on the cat. Later, he came to his dad complaining of a stomachache and confessed to eating the bag of M&Ms.

We all regularly face the choice to remain stuck or to pursue happier alternatives. This is popularly known as the choice between "being right" and "being happy." This author most definitely recommends dropping the shoulds associated with "being right." For self-righteousness alienates others, is often a shaky unstable prop for one's ego, and leads to unhappiness whenever "wrong" ideas/ people/ actions are in view. If self-righteousness or blame or judgments of any sort persists, being stuck and being unhappy also persist. To summarize, temporary blame is often essential to the permanent release of trauma knots, whereas criticism that persists is clear evidence of being stuck in unhappiness."

Therefore, when you find yourself blaming the weather, society, mother, men or the frying pan for what you are experiencing, ask yourself if you want to stay helpless.

If you are helpless and not responsible for yourself then you are a victim(someone who does not have the power to help himself or herself). The only true victim in our world is a child. Children do not have the power to get new parents or free themselves from the situation they are in.The act of being responsible for yourself is the act of owning your own power over your own life. You can do what is necessary to create the life you want. You can move pass your feelings about people and things and their maladaptive conditioning. You can own your own strength, courage and ability to live life fully and freely.


You can keep on blaming, If anyone is to blame (and I do not think blaming helps at all) if it does not end up at a point of mutual understanding, forgetting the flaws and problems and bring about a comfort level.
The best emotional health relationship advice I can give you is to "Give up blame." Hope it helps you set your spirit free. - Anonymous (Practitioner-Psychologist/Counselor) 40, Goa, India